2016 Christmas letter

Greetings, people that we love:

2016 has been a lot like 2015 and I’ve figured out why. Mature people in the autumn of their life pretty much just do what they want. And, being set in our ways, we usually want to do the same thing we did last year. I’m happy to tell you about our year, just don’t be surprised if it sounds really familiar.

We live in Fayetteville, GA. We’re going on year 6 of living in the same house, and I admit, I’ve liked not moving. We have some new neighbors, and the pack of deer that run the neighborhood has grown and changed some of its members. So there’s that if you’re looking for change. Speaking of deer, I actually had tomatoes grow on the plant that I put in a pot on my deck. I don’t think deer climb stairs very well. Otherwise, it’s business as usual. We still watch for poison ivy in the spring while we glory in the azaleas and dogwood blossoms. We look forward to the crepe myrtle in summer that we admire through the windows of our air conditioned house. We come alive in the fall and catch up on hiking and wonder why we don’t do more activities outside (see above.) And then we brave the winter as we shiver while walking from the building to our car. Some might suggest wearing a coat, but that’s not really the Georgia way.

Paul still works at Acella Laboratories in Alpharetta. His commute is a bit brutal, but he works from home on Friday so he can recoup from the danger he faces with the other Atlanta drivers Mon. through Thurs. He teaches the 5 yr. olds in church. It’s a pretty impressive sight to see. He goes in wielding coloring activities, worksheets, scissors, games, stories, enthusiasm and of course knowledge and love of the gospel. His class is definitely a fun zone. I was subbing in the elementary school of a little boy from Paul’s class and he told his mom, “I saw my Primary teacher’s wife at school today.” I thought we were friends, but I guess I’m just the relative of the friend. Paul is trying to keep his tennis game up, but keeps getting held back by mortality. Once again, it’s that maturity thing. The spirit is willing, but the knees are weak.

I do the same fun things I did last year. I teach seminary. We’re studying New Testament and I love it and my new 9^th graders. I walk with my friends for fitness and health--not slimness. It’s a mindset I’ve been working on since discovering that, well you know, I’m mature. I go to the temple on Wednesdays. Sometimes I substitute in the schools, but not too often, that would be hard. I shop and clean and cook and do laundry. And if all that gets very boring, I get on an airplane and visit someone I love.

Gabe is the only one around here who is doing anything different. He is in the percussion pit of the marching band. That has made a ripple in Paul and my calm waters. We’re band parents again. Not just any band parents--hard core band-in-the-south parents and all that that entails; summer band camp in the blacktop melting sun, late Friday night football games followed by all day Saturday competitions, after school practice, chair auditions, parades, and lots and lots of dues. Gabe’s doing great and we’re proud of him. In other news he’s one signature and a Board of Review short of earning his Eagle scout award. This has been a journey, but he can see the end. Gabe has also been driving on the way to seminary trying to earn the 40 hours of driving time he needs to get a driver’s license. Thank you, Gabe, for providing us opportunities and excitement. Otherwise, we might just be sitting on the couch being mature.

The highlights of 2016 were seeing our children and grandchildren who live all over America. Aaron, Clarissa and Lucy visited during their spring break. We had a fun reunion in July with the other posterity. The only one we missed seeing this summer was Andrew, who was on the bad end of a buddy pass. Paul and I are reaping the rewards of raising 9 children. They have given us 12 grandchildren with more to come in 2017. I’d say that’s a pretty good return on our investment. Here’s what they’re all up to:

Daniel and Erica live in St. Louis. Daniel flies for Delta and started the year based in Atlanta. We loved seeing him every couple of weeks. Erica runs her award winning photography business and takes great care of Caleb and Landon.

Brandon and Mallory are in Portland. Brandon still enjoys working for Nike. Mallory is a wonderful mother and inspires much imagination in Annabelle, Josh, Isaac, and Eli.

Nathan and Ariane have moved to Augusta, SC. That, my friends, is only 2 ½ hrs. from me. We have loved seeing more of them. Nathan is doing a pediatric residency there. Ariane is busy being awesome as she works on home improvements and teaches Caden everything he knows. Well, Nathan might have taught him a couple things.

Aaron, Clarissa, Lucy and a little guy who’s coming in January are finishing their last year of Dental School in Las Vegas. Clarissa astounds us with her sewing super powers and mothering prowess.

Jacob and Alexa are in Medical School in Sacramento. Alexa is beautifully managing the addition of baby Theo to their family. Isla is a great big sister.

Joseph and Eliza are also finishing their last year of Dental School. Joseph has been accepted into an orthodontics residency program in Detroit, MI starting in May. Eliza lights the world as a terrific mom to Hyrum, and Emmaline.

Andrew is in school at Utah Valley University. He is sharpening his customer service skills and stashing the cash he makes working as a waiter at Chili’s.

Rebecca is in her second year at BYU-Provo. She improves life for students and professors with her work at the BYU bookstore in textbooks.

We hope this update finds you all merry and bright. Remember the love of the Savior is always there for you.

Merry Christmas!

The Stokers

It's December, but I'm still thankful.

So I have this person, who's close to me, who's pretty intelligent, who calls Thanksgiving, "The worst, dumbest, holiday ever." I guess in some ways it can seem like that if you consider the fact that we shop, clean, cook  and prepare for 3 days (6 if you count thawing the turkey) for a meal that's over in 1 hr. Not to mention that the meal contains 7 carb dishes to 1 protein dish covered with fat and followed by sugar. (This would probably be a good time to mention that the "worst, dumbest" opinion belongs to a paleo eater.) But the meal is only a decoy to get us to stop and plan and make the effort to gather and share with people we love. Considering how early Christmasing is thrust upon us, I like to think of Thanksgiving as a happy speed bump. Sure, I shop a bit and listen to a little Christmas music and start to rev up for Christmas magic making in November, but then my friend, Thanksgiving, reminds me that before I start the frenzy, I need to stop and give thanks and sit long around a table and play some board games and choose what kind of pie I would like to eat while I visit. And then I get back into the race and am pretty much full steam ahead as demonstrated by the fact that I forgot to blog about giving thanks.

I'm thankful that I am a mother and grandmother. Nothing is so hard. Nothing is so fun. Nothing makes me angrier. Nothing makes me laugh harder. Nothing breaks my heart or fills me with joy like being a mother. There's always a mommy thought swirling around my brain, and a part of me is in St. Louis, Portland, Augusta, Las Vegas, Sacramento, Omaha, Orem, Provo and Atlanta. Many of these excellent people have married even more excellent people and have born even more excellent people. It's a beautiful plan.

I'm thankful for a faithful and constant husband. He's been by my side for a long time. Although there's a little jostling in our equal yoke as we're both equally stubborn. It's a blessing to have a husband who loves steadily and provides generously and lives enthusiastically.

I'm thankful for the family I came from. The project that my parents embarked on when they got married was ambitious to say the least. To raise 10 children and live well through the challenges of life has been impressive. I am inspired by these good people.

And speaking of Thanksgiving dinner, maybe there's more to it than just tradition and calories. My turkey journey has been rocky, but in the years of taking it out of the freezer too late and not putting it in the oven early enough, I have developed humility. I have been forced to not walk my own know-it-all way. I have asked and watched and listened (eventually) and this year we had a pretty darn good turkey. Anita Stanley put out a reminder on facebook for me to start thawing the turkey. I decided not to leave anything up to chance and copied the Gills by cooking the turkey on Wed. and letting it sit in the juices overnight. I listened to Erica and made gravy out of juices and broth instead of bouillon. I used a cooking bag for baking. (I don't remember who taught me that) and just warmed the meat up in foil on Thanksgiving day.

The rolls teach us to be patient with growth. Given time we can rise to become more than we are, but we do our best growing in warm, sweet surroundings. When not given the time to develop, however, we can be hard and heavy.

Cranberries teach us to not give up. Maybe we don't like canned cranberry sauce. Let's try to make it from scratch. Or maybe cranberries are better in a jalapeno compote with cream cheese. Try cranberry fluff or bread, or punch, but don't quit cranberries.

A very important part of Thanksgiving is the people. If possible put different faces around the table, Otherwise how can you tell it's a holiday? It would just be dinner. I was thankful to have children and grandchildren and siblings and nieces around my table. I have my mom's silver that she put on layaway when she first got married. She told me to use it when her children came for dinner. This Thanksgiving was the first time I was able to use it, and I loved picturing my mother young, trying to make her home a special place.

When the dinner was over, Christmas was welcomed in. We happily revived the graham cracker gingerbread house tradition. Part of the tradition is trying to transport the precious houses without damage to structure or loss of candy home after the holiday. The next part of the tradition is listening to the children cry about damage to structure and loss of candy. And then we're thankful for our children's opportunity to learn to cope with loss.

Caden's first BD

I had a lovely November. I'm thankful for so many blessings, and now it's time to light the world in celebration of the birth our our Savior.

A quick visit with these cuties

Theo's blessing day

Caden

Fierce mom/basketball skills

Sharpies to write on the tablecloth what we're thankful for and my mom's silver

Good lookin' kitchen help

Lovely carbs and fat

Charlie's little cute girls

It's a holiday! We have loved ones around the table. Charlie, Nathan, Gabe, Paul, Ariane, Meg