"This car has some personality. It's called let me cause you some problems."

Last night as things were winding down, I had gone off "mom duty" in my mind and was wrapped in a blanket struggling through "Tale of Two Cities."  Let me digress here and say that I think I need a better vocabulary.  This particular choice in my quest of the classics is slow-going to say the least. I mean what is apostrophise, hob, riving, escutcheon?  My list of words to look up is embarrassingly long.   Anyway, back to the story.  I thought, "All I need is for Andrew to come home and I can close my wee little eyes."  And then there was a sound, not the opening of the door, but the ringing of my phone.  "Mom, there's something wrong with my car.  The fire fighter says it's the fan belt and pulley or something."  As he was speaking  I realized that I had an adventure ahead of me and needed to trade in my picture of ending for a picture of beginning.  I found his location and threw on my brown leather slip-ons over my fuzzy turquoise striped slipper-socks that perfectly complimented my sweats and hoodie.

Normally this would be my husband's opportunity, but he was not home so the blessings fell to me.  Out into the night I went.  As I was driving through the neighborhood I spotted the moon, which Gabe and I had been looking for all evening.  After a quick call home with the good news, I headed southwest on GA highway 85, not to be confused with I-85. Since I was looking for a white subaru and my son on the side of the road I was travelling slowly.  The car behind me had no way of knowing my intentions and so flashed their lights to remind me that the speed limit was 55 not 45.  I pulled over and let him pass.  Continuing on, I saw 2 cars,  one with very official emergency flashing lights.  I made another phone call, "I just passed some cars with flashing lights.  Is that you?"   Andrew answered in the affirmative and I turned and pulled off the road onto the grass behind them.  As I approached, my son's helper who was dressed in a uniform complete with reflectors introduced himself with a handshake and his name and his position with the fire department which meant that his specialty was emergency response.  He had just happened to be behind Andrew when he saw he was in trouble.  He had looked under the hood of the car, gave him some advice (don't try and drive the car) and waited until I came so Andrew didn't have to wait alone on the side of the road.  Well, that just filled my mother heart with gratitude as I realized that the most qualified man in the city was placed in the position to aid our family.  He advised me to pull my car over a bit and remember that without his flashing lights no one would see us so be careful and then he went on his way.

Andrew called the number Paul had given him to arrange for towing.  There was some confusion as we explained that we were on GA 85 not I-85 (a pretty big difference if you're waiting on the side of the road in the night.)We gave them the cross street that the hero fire fighter had given us and then waited.  I was proud of my son as he processed the inconvenience of the situation.  He had finished LAX practice and  then headed over to a friend's to study Calculus.  He still had Gov. homework to do and was hoping to finish after arriving home that evening.  Instead he was sitting with his mom 18 minutes from home, but unable to leave.  So close and yet so far away.  But still he was cheerful and positive.

We had a little diversion when a sheriff pulled up with HIS lights flashing and rolled his window down.  I explained that we had a disabled car and were waiting for a tow truck.  He asked when the tow was coming.  "30 minutes," I told him.  He said, "Alright.  Well be careful while you're sitting there."  I laughed at this comment.  I think it would have been much more helpful if he were to say, 'And here's some pepper spray just in case."  Or, "Let me teach you a few ninja moves before I leave."  We must have looked like we could take care of ourselves.

A few long minutes later, our tow truck arrived.  I had always thought that a tow truck was a tow truck, but  luckily for us, Super Tow-man was dispatched to come to our aid.  He came roaring up,  hooked up the car,  directed Andrew to turn the wheels because he was cranking up the cable, and  Bam, the car was loaded.  He said, "Follow me to Kaufman's Tires," and off he went.  We smiled as we realized we could not keep up with him.  We didn't dare go more than 5 miles over the speed limit because there has been some traffic ticket activity in our family and we're all driving with new resolve.  Well, Super Tow-man was soon out of sight.  When we arrived, we were treated to the car depositing process.  He gently spilled our car onto the parking lot, jumped in and steered it expertly into a parking place.  He filled out his papers and was gone.

Andrew and I completed the process by filling out the information sheet for the night key drop.  Clearly neither of us has enough experience in car repair.  Andrew:"I need Dad's license number."  Me: "I think they want the car license number."  Andrew:  "I'm calling Dad...okay, it's the car license number."  Me: "They want the car mileage. Go look at the odometer."  Andrew:  "148439210"  Me:  "I don't think the car has 100 million miles on it."  Andrew laughing, "OK let me give those numbers to you again."  And then we finished, and then we dropped it the form and the key in the drop box, and then we were home safe and sound.

Sunday, Gabe had shared that he had learned about adversity at church.  His teacher had wisely explained to the 12 yr. old class that just like they wouldn't want to play a video game that only drove along slowly through a field on a flat surface, life is better with a little opposition.  I was trying to treat myself to what I thought I needed--relaxation.  Instead I got an opportunity for a little excitement, and you know what?  I felt a lot more alive at midnight than I did at 9:30.  Life is good.

Winter Break. For those who were wondering...

So in the south we have this thing called "Winter Break."  This may be confusing to my Westerner/Midwesterner/Northerner friends.  Let's just say it's what you get  when you start school on the stinkin' first or second week of August.  It's also what you get instead of snow days.  I actually know this because the first year we lived in GA it snowed and school was cancelled.  And even after the snow was gone school was still cancelled.  The rumor was that there was a patch of ice on one of the bus routes so we didn't have school for the entire week.  We also didn't have Winter Break.

Winter Break works out great for my friends who work for Delta.  They just gather up their family and fly to the beach and the sun.  But I'm not complaining, this also works out great for me because we ditch the discipline of daily schedules and pull out our "the possibilities are endless, what should we do?" dreams.  A friend of mine inspired me when she let each person in the family choose an activity on President's Day.  The day looked fun, but intense.  Since we had a whole week, we put the idea on tranquilizers and had each person choose a family activity that we would accomplish sometime in the 9 free days.

When I presented this amazing idea one of my sweet children commented that he hadn't planned on spending that much time with his family.  Eventually he conceded that if we had family time in the morning it could be checked off his list before his friends even woke up.  Motherhood is nothing if not an exercise in trading the ideal for the real.

Well, I got to choose first and I chose volunteering at Gracie's Closet.  I actually chose this 1 month prior.  I had even registered on line for our time slot.  I can be a little ditzy so life goes better when I ask, "What would a careful planner do?"  I played that game and googled our destination and used my GPS for a backup. My reasearch yielded the info that we live 15 minutes from Gracie's Closet.  At 8:45 I had my little winter-breakers in my car on our way to a great morning of giving back to the community.  We drove to the complex and started driving around.  We were almost there, but not quite.  I started asking strangers for advice (a personal favorite of teenagers) and got some slightly helpful directions.  At least we found out from the sign on the directed door that Gracie's closet had moved.  On our way out, one of our helpers ran out of her office and said, "My boss said that Gracie's closet moved."  People in the south really are nice.

 We got to our destination and walked into a nice newly renovated building with no sign of people.  I started wandering into the back where I heard voices.  The voices informed me that the volunteer organizer wasn't there that day, but I could leave my number.    I felt my dream slipping :(  Then we met another woman that knew a little more.  She offered to call Lauren, the volunteer organizer, then informed us that Lauren was 15 minutes out, and we could come back.  I of course offered to wait.  I didn't want to lose what little momentum we had.  When the helpful person saw we were going to wait, she said, "Let's go back and see if you can get started."  She showed us the clothes and the hangers and the wrinkle releaser and we were on our way.  When Lauren arrived  she apoligized for not being there.  She didn't know we were coming.  I thought about how I had signed up electronically, and how sometimes I order things online and they don't come and realized something.  There must be a place on the computer that says, "Yeah, I mean it" that I don't know about.  But everything turned out great and we learned that Gracie's closet offers nice clothes for foster kids to select at no cost, and that sometimes an item looks like a skirt, but really it's an upside down shirt, and Woolite wrinkle releaser is the product I've been waiting for my whole life.

Activity 2 belonged to Gabe.  He and Andrew both wanted Friday's sports activity, but Gabe had some unfulfilled scout requirements so I convinced him to take that route instead.  He needed to visit a National park, monument, museum, etc.  He had been to DC, but wasn't 12 at the time so needed another experience which didn't hurt any of us.  Here we are living in the Atlanta area so Gabe's activity was to attend the Martin Luther King site.  We arrived without incident, well one teeny incident where someone related to me thought I was driving down a one-way street and panicked which made me panic, but it wasn't a one-way street after all so no worries.  Luckily the police car that was parked a block away did not contain a police officer that wanted to ask me what the heck I thought I was doing. Our 1.5 hrs. spent in the museum, church, memorial, and viewing the outside of Dr. King's birthplace was meaningful and educational.

Rebecca's activity was tie-dying shirts.  Tie-dye makes everything better and we all know it.  Our goal was to create shirts for St. Patrick's Day.  They turned out smashingly.  We invited a friend who I thought was a novice, but turned out to be an expert.  Sorry Max, for questioning your techniques.  The results were inspiring.  And thank you Rebecca for your sacrifice...rubber band gathering, dye mixing, tutoring, and shirt rinsing, and by the way, I love the color of your fingers.

Nerf guns was the final activity.  Would it be a school break if we didn't go to the church for a sports activity?  I think not.  We scheduled the start time for as early as possible because we thought Andrew had a lacrosse game in the afternoon. I cruelly woke everyone at the crack of 9:45 and then we discovered that Andrew's game had been cancelled.  The damage had already been done  (everyone was up) so we went ahead with our wee hours of the vacation morning plan.  We were met by friends and the games began.  I actually had to leave, but it looks like it was fun.

That's not all we did.  There was some weeding and bush trimming excitement, some riotous instrument practicing, some off the chains book reading and we watched the ever thrilling "Jungle Book."  I mean, do we know how to party or what?  It's been a lovely holiday, and as Gabe said, "Now you have to go back to your day with no children."  A while ago Gabe asked, "Aren't you glad you still have children at home with you?"  You know what? I really am.

Happy Birthday Ariane!

Nathan always says we moved to Minnesota for him.  That's where we met the Ostvigs, and Amy Ostvig was friends with Ariane Black, and Nathan fell in love with Ariane Black.  And then he married her, and now he's the happiest man on the planet.

Amy Ostvig's birthday party

We first met Ariane after Christmas 2008.  She came to Alabama for a visit.  We loved having her with us and she was a very good sport.  She went with us to the airport to pick up Aaron from Korea and took pictures for us.  She sang carols with the family around the piano and participated in our the nativity tradition.  We didn't know then if she was going to be part of our family, but we knew we would be lucky if she was.

The first thing we noticed about Ariane was how sweet she was. She also has a quiet resolve that leads her to reach her goals.    She had always wanted to serve a mission and after prayer and consideration she decided she would continue with that desire.  Nathan was happy for her, but sad for him.  She received a call to Chile where she served faithfully with courage and love.

Ari opening her mission call.

It looks a bit damp.

I'm not saying that Nathan was counting the days until she got home, but I'm pretty sure everyone on BYU campus knew the date of Hermana Black's return. After 18 months she came home, and  Nathan paid the Black's a visit, and the rest is history.

We've learned some more things about Miss Ariane since she's been in our family.  One thing we've learned is that she's good at things.  I guess that quiet determination combined with lots of gifts yields results.

She made her own wedding cake (another dream she had.)

The winning team at the family reunion

When we played family frisbee last Thanksgiving it was amazing and a bit annoying that wherever Nathan threw the frisbee Ariane was there to catch it.  She has surprising speed and of course determination.

Ariane is applying that quiet determination to complete her physical therapy program.  She has been going strong and only has a little over a year to go.  

Today I mentioned that Ariane's birthday was tomorrow.  Gabe said, "Ariane is cheerful and fun."  He's right.  

 After our family reunion last summer my sister told me that they asked their children who they had gotten to know better.  Her little girl said, "I feel like I got close to Ariane."  Everyone loves Ariane, but especially children.  She and Nathan teach in the Nursery at church.  Nathan says Ariane is the reason the children like coming to class.  I've seen her in action.  She really knows how to make a child smile.

If you follow this blog, it sounds like all my married children chose fantastic people, and you know what?  They did. I'm blessed beyond measure, and I love them like my own children.

Ariane Stoker, it's so nice to have you in our family. I love you.  Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday Mallory

My son, Brandon, met Mallory Dickson in an "Achieving Celestial Marriage" class at BYU.  Isn't that just the kind of story you want to tell your kids?  He was so impressed with her and was sold on her so quickly I hardly had time to facebook stalk her before they were engaged.  But when I did, this was her profile picture:

I thought she was a model, but found out later she was just having fun.

  Paul and I met Mallory at Brandon's graduation in April.  We thought she was great and we enjoyed our time together.  She sweetly confided a couple of years ago that it was not as relaxing for her.  We were eating lunch at a restaurant and her plastic fork broke.  She didn't want to appear high-maintenance so she finished her meal with her broken fork.  While we were waiting in the Marriott Center for convocation we were eating trail mix.  She doesn't like raisins, but wanted to be agreeable so she slipped them into her purse as she ate the peanuts.  Then to continue the awkwardness, we went to a show, and I suggested Ghost Rider because it was the PG-13 movie playing at the right time.  Well, it was not exactly the feel-good experience we were looking for.  There's not a more easy-to-get along with, comfortable person on the planet than Mallory, but those stories are fun to tell and retell.

Mallory took a chance on Brandon.  He had no money and no job, just a Bachelors degree, his dreams and love.  But their marriage was the start of something big.  

They lived in Provo, UT for awhile.  Mallory continued her education and had a sweet baby girl, Annabelle. Then they took their loving show on the road to Iowa City which is not close to her home of Seattle.  She graduated in Math Education and then concentrated on being a very excellent mother. 

Mallory teaching Annabelle about the camera so she wouldn't be afraid
when Grandma took a picture.

 I have always been amazed at her mothering skills. For one thing, she totally knows how to swaddle babies.  This is an important sleep aid that was missing in my mother-of-babies years.  I watched her carefully so I can get the right baby-in-a-taco wrap for any babies in my care

Unfortunately, I do not have a picture of her baby swaddle,
but trust me.   It's a beautiful thing.

.  

Mallory always uses a calm voice.  When she was home for her first Christmas with the Stokers, her sweet manner made me realize that we tend to be a little confrontational.  I want to be more gentle like her. 

One summer she was visiting us while Brandon had some business in Atlanta.  All 3 kids wanted her and would take no substitutions.  She didn't yell or cry or answer shortly.  She just told the children their options, met their needs and pushed through with courage and love.

Speaking of courage and love, having young children is full of opportunities to test and then strengthen these qualities.  Christmas Eve 2010 we went to a party at some friends' house.  Shortly after our arrival Annabelle threw up.  Mallory and Brandon took their kids home.  The next day Josh threw up.  Actually Mallory got thrown up on 3 times in one day.  Still kind and caring, she just changed her clothes, laughed a little, and took care of her babies.

When one of her children has a little problem like say, not wanting to go to bed, she researches and prays and then comes up with clever programs to help her children improve and overcome fears. "You can come out if you're scared, but on the second time you lose your show.  You choose."

Mallory has a superior imagination and sense of fun.  When it was time for our New Year's disco dance, she was in.  She and Gabe created a Ninja adventure story that they continued to develop on the phone.  Her children enjoy listening to her made-up stories that contain questions such as, "What's your super power?  Then what happened? "

From Iowa they moved to the Washington DC area.  Of course Mallory adapted and enjoyed all the advantages of our nation's capital.  She rode the Metro, saw the sights, and made her world a better place.

  Last summer, however, she was rewarded for her bravery.  Brandon took a job in Portland, OR, 2.5 hrs. from her family.  But first he had to spend a month in Michigan.  With 3 babies, my advice to her was to go and stay with her mom.  She said, "Brandon and I don't like to be apart.  I'm going to live with him in the hotel as long as I can"  Do you know what?  She lasted the whole time.  Her kids were happy and growing and it just goes to show, it doesn't really matter where you live, if you're with your family, you're home.  I think making a happy place for her family is Mallory's super power.