How to make a day.

I know my life is perfect. I live in the USA. My husband is employed. I'm healthy. I have 9 perfect children, 6 perfect children in law, and 7 perfect grandchildren. The list goes on and on, but sometimes I worry about my perfect children and their choices and their schedules and life and money and the appointments I've missed and the awkward things I've said and the awesome things I should have but didn't do, and that list really goes on and on. Just like in Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows' "The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society," "My worries travel about my head on their well worn path." This is not new, but I really like to keep myself in a healthy and happy place. It just works better for all concerned. I do pretty well but sometimes my wee little brain and heart reach their worry limit and sadness starts settling in. This was my state this weekend. When I find myself in this state I immediately try and fight myself free. It helps a little, but do you know what really saves me? Little day makers from  people in my world, all gifts from God. So if you want to be a day maker and turn someone's frown upside down, here are some ideas:

1. Leave a note.

 And if someone vacuums that note. Leave another one.

2. If you go to someone's house for church business, stay a little longer. Sit on the couch and chat a little. It's nice to hear someone's thoughts other than my own.

3. If you can make music, do it. As often as you can. It might be just what someone's heart needed.

4. Call your mom and ask her if she wants to Skype. She does.

5. If you're 5 years old and cute and waiting for the bus, wave at the lady who drives by on her way to seminary every day. She will always wave back, and she will smile for a long time.

6. Walk with your fellow seminary teacher and show her new beautiful places.

Do these little things and people will remember God loves them because you were kind, and they'll be happy again.

Thanks, day makers.

Stoker report

Let's say this picture represents our goals and aspirations. It was the last day of school, first day of summer, everything was possible, all wrongs would be righted, all weaknesses would be made strengths, miraculous changes were coming our way. I laid out the programs that would bring about these changes. Gabe, qualifying for the manly program which includes 4 hours of work daily,would learn to work cheerfully, improve cooking skills, read, improve his musical instruments, rock his scouting and Duty to God, accomplish hard things and serve in the community. Rebecca, who did not qualify for the complete program because she is employed, would improve her homemaking skills and whatever else was on her list which is much longer than mine. Andrew, who is an employed adult, would be an appreciative guest, make wise choices and fly under his mom's radar. I would keep the kids moving forward, read books, keep things managed and enjoy the company of my children.

And now school has started again and although we're all very recognizable, I'm going to call it a win. Here are some of our great victories:

Gabe and Andrew improved their concentration and
manipulation skills by spending hours on Perplexus,
not to mention building family relationships.

 I actually called and made
a commitment for a date, which is a huge summertime accomplishment.
 (Inertia and all)
We went at the appointed time and bagged
granola bars for the Midwest food bank. Yay!

Nothing says "Independence" like making your own treats.

Gabe is not a fan of reading, but in order to gain
 Mario Strikers time, one hour for every 200 pp read,
he endured the pain .

For some of you this may not look like much,
but at the Stoker house this is an amazingly
organized bookshelf.  Woo hoo!

Gabe ordered burrito, rice and beans instead of chicken fingers
and fries. Way to be adventurous!

Gabe helped me keep my flowers alive and weeded.
Thanks buddy.

Our tomatoes provided much summer drama.
They grew beautifully until the deer made it over
to our planterrific neighborhood.
 We thought they would pass on
our meager garden, but they were just waiting til the time was right to
devour our only hope for harvest.
After the attack Gabe faithfully sprayed our plants with milk, which was
a  deterrent, but this morning I found a tomato worm.
We're doomed!
But Gabe was valiant in the fight.

Scouting went like this,
 Me: "What are you working on?"
Gabe: "I don't know."
Me:" Can you ask your scout leader?"
repeat.
Luckily, Dad's got this and

Gabe found out he has 3 loops, 1 arch and the rest were whirls-
very rare fingerprints. Progress!

Motivated by Rebecca's scripture placement,
I practiced my Primary songs and Gabe
learned 2 1/2 hymns.

This  was a shared victory. I need
to cook more creatively. The kids need to be braver eaters.
Gladys Camp taught me how to make this
delicious cauliflower casserole and the kids ate it. Go us.

This wonder girl dominated her list
and made some  progress on mine.
This one time, her room was completely clean.

Andrew was a grateful guest and flew pretty low.
I know life was a little slow on the homefront for a 19-yr. old
but thanks for hanging out with us. oxox

So on we go, trying and hoping and reaching, humanness and all. There's always next summer for perfection.

Happy Birthday Dad 2014

A photo tribute to the man who gives his all to his family and his God. 

High School barbershop quartet.  

While at U of O was king of hearts finalist and then nominated by his house for ugliest man
on campus contest. This was his entry.

15 minutes of fame at BYU as a "Mingleaire"

Dad and my Grandpa's genius border collie, "Moss."

Dental School

Doing what he loves

Side by side with his eternal companion.

A beautiful tribute from a wonderful friend of our family.

I love you Dad. Happy Birthday from your grateful daughter.

The grand finale of summer 2014

Luckily for us, my daughter married someone who believes in driving for family. So on their way back from Delaware to Omaha, they dropped by.  Y'all know it's on the way. And they brought their chubby cute baby with them.

We started out the fun with frisbee golf.  Some of us knew how to play. Some of us did not. And some of us were aware of disc golf etiquette which dictates that everyone stays perceptively behind the person who is out (furthest from the hole.) Some did not. That's probably why I got hit in the back of the head, which is a bit of concern because my brain cells are washing away by the minute as it is. And while we're on the topic, here is a little more frisbee golf etiquette:

• If you see an errant disc disappear into the rough near you, from another hole, take the time to give the unfortunate thrower an idea of where to look for her/his disc
• If possible, try to grant the requests of other players, however ridiculous they may seem to you (like “don’t talk to my disc” or “don’t stand directly behind me-even if you’re 15
  feet away”. It’s always easier to just take the high road and
  let it go.
• If you find an abandoned disc, attempt to reunite it with its owner. Ask the groups ahead of you if they left a disc behind, then either turn it in to Lost & Found or call the phone number on the bottom.
• Don’t talk about someone else’s game unless they bring it up.
• Don’t talk about your game too much.
• If you feel compelled to share etiquette tips with others, make sure to pick your words and tone carefully. Most players are not ‘rude’ on purpose, but out of blissful ignorance. They don’t consciously plan to aggravate you. And they may be disc golfing for the first or second time ever, so try to enlighten them with a smile rather than scold them  with a scowl. (That was demonstrated nicely for me.)

I wasn't the best golfer in the party, but it was important for me to be there so I could  share my fears with the disc rescuers when they went into the ravine to find discs. How else would they know to worry about poison ivy and water moccasins and copperheads? I'm a helper. 

The next day we received a fun visit from the Giles. They brought a cute baby too so we were double blessed. Some played on the playground while others played bocce. We all had fun, and I need to note that the temp was in the 80's on an August day in Atlanta. It was a miracle.

Saturday night was a sad night because our cute baby wasn't feeling very well. But his momma and daddy took good care of him.  There's a lot of happiness in seeing your children create and dedicate themselves to a family unit that is theirs forever.

Sunday I had to leave the party to go to another party.  Paul was having ACL surgery in Memphis. He was a very good patient and rode in the back of the car all the way back to Atlanta without complaining. He managed his pain with Tylenol and ditched the crutches after the first day. He even saved the day with an emergency car repair run to get the alternator replaced.  He's such a stud.

The Atlanta party continued with a great visit with the Sultans. Jack dubbed Hyrum, "Baby Hy," which I think is adorable. Rebecca complimented Hyrum on his fat thighs and loved that baby like southern girls do. And Max created and offered beautiful gifts from the heart, Duplo towers carefully crafted.

On Andrew's day off we played some intense 4-square with Joseph behind the camera. Then Andrew identified some amazing action shots for your viewing pleasure.  Can't you just feel the excitement?

One of my favorite activities was taking a million pictures because I had all these beautiful people around.  So this is their gift to me.

Their "Miller" smile. Code-show all your teeth,
especially the ones on the bottom.

Grandma, no more pictures.

"Mom, Grandma won't stop taking
pictures of me!"

Okay, a couple more.

Uncle Andrew vying for best uncle position.

Selfies rock!

On the last Saturday I had to be serious for a minute and go to some meetings, but these well trained children carried on the party without me and raised it up a notch with this VIDEO to remember it by.

And then they had to go.  Just a few last pictures of the cuteness...

And they were off. Thanks for coming! We love you! See you at Christmas! And if this party looks fun to anyone, you should come for Christmas too.

<3 <3 <3