The second 1/2 of I heart summer-July

July has a built-in firecracker start (get it?) 4th of July is just a great holiday.  The patriotism brings the emotion. Red, white and blue are snappy colors that don't get worn enough. And the city plans the party for me. All I have to do is provide the food. The secret that can't be underestimated, however, is that the celebration must be with loved ones. I guess that's the secret to every special day. I'm very thankful to Nathan and Ariane and Caden for driving the 3 hours to be with us. They were the highlight of the holiday.

The celebration of freedom began with a musical fireside at our church on Sunday night. Paul and I were singing in the choir. (The choir needs Paul and I need choir.) Gabe was part of the flag ceremony and played the snare on 2 of the songs. He came in strong.

Monday was the day Nathan was off of work, so Monday was the day we had our family celebration.

We can always use a little more music

Caden wasn't feeling great, but would rise to the occasion when he could.

Signs that a grandchild might be in the vicinity.

Ladder Ball-my first time playing

2 lovely people + one on the way

What Dad's do on 4th of July. The blow torch leaves no doubt.

Nice form,

Our family had to leave us, but Paul and Gabe were good Independence Day sports, and we went to the famous Peachtree City golf cart parade. It's a beautiful thing. Not too far away. Not too long. Not too crowded. We salute the flag, say "Hey" to the people we know, cheer the floats and then go home when we feel like it. Happy 4th of July, USA. Consider yourself celebrated.

The next amazing summer event was planned by my sister, Carrie. She texted us and said, "We're cleaning out Mom and Dad's house and having a yard sale. If you want to help, come to Manti, UT on July 13-15. I did want to help. I especially wanted to help Carrie and her husband Gabe because they know how to get things done.

I got on the plane and then the train and then my daughter's sweet roommate picked me up and took me to their apartment. It was so fun to meet one of  Rebecca's favorite people. That evening we attended to Provo City Center temple. It was wonderful being with those beautiful, kind girls.

I stayed with my brother-in-law and his family and then headed out to Manti. I remember driving to Manti from Provo to see my Grandparents when I was a little girl. The road was soooooooo long. When we finally saw this come into view we would jump for joy. Well, it was actually more like a small, car hop.The Manti temple beckons us from its place on the hill, not just to Grandma's and Grandpas', but to our real home in heaven.

When I arrived, of course everything was well in hand. Gabe was running the yard sale. He seems harmless, but somehow people walked away with many more purchases than they had planned. And they felt good about it. Those are skills, people. Carrie was cleaning like a mad woman. Megan and Travis and their kids came to work, so there was plenty of help to go around. And, bonus-I was with some of my favorite people. That's why I did more talking than working. Sorry not sorry.

Megan's Susie and Ivy, Megan, and Carrie

Megan's Eliza, Miller and husband Travis

Megan, me and Carrie

Gabe

On Friday night, there was a knock on the door and this sweet neighbor came by to say "Hello." In our conversation she mentioned that her husband's family had homesteaded my parent's place. This was meaningful because my Dad had painted a picture of this family and it seemed to just belong to the land. It didn't feel right taking it away. What would be the meaning of it in GA or any other state? I was happy to give it to her so it could be with the right people in the right place.

Saturday, Carrie and Gabe finished up and I drove over to visit my parents in Richfield. My mom took me for Chinese Food. I remember her taking me for Chinese food when I was a little girl. Mom always ordered root beer. 

Saturday night I drove back to Provo area and visited my sweet niece and her husband . She was courageously living in the hospital while her little momo twins were growing. They're here now. I'm so proud of her for living with faith, hope and courage.

I was also able to spend a bit of time with my sweet Lucy and Red. They and their beautiful mom, Clarissa, were staying with their other grandparents who are fantastic people, by the way.  They are now living altogether with their dad in North Carolina, (who stopped by my house on the way) and I hope to see them again very soon.

Sunday, I went to church with Miss Rebecca. I enjoyed listening to her teach Sunday school. I was then treated to an afternoon jam session with our family friend, McKay. All in all, a wonderful day. And then I got on the plane and then the car and drove home.

For years, my sister, Mary, has been inviting me to join her at BYU-I education week. This is something I've wanted to do since I went to BYU Provo ed week as a 17 yr. old. I hadn't been available till this year. Getting to Idaho Falls is tricky, but I decided to go for it. The weekend didn't disappoint. The classes were inspiring, the concerts-terrific, and the company heavenly. We got to visit with another darling niece and her baby and husband. I'm definitely looking forward to a repeat.

We had one last visit from Carrie and Gabe and kids, and I took one last trip up to Detroit and now the summer is over.

 

Looking over the Detroit River to Canada

Lake St. Claire

Hyrum's first time sliding the pole by himself.

But the fun is not. Jemma was born.

 And the eclipse is on Monday. Bring on the fall!

Christmas letter and picture 2015

Merry Christmas from the Stokers! It’s 2015, and all is well. Jesus Christ is our Savior. Our family has grown to 28 beautiful souls. We’re happily living in a free country practicing religion according to the dictates of our own conscience, solving problems one day at a time, and counting our blessings.

Paul works for Acella Labs. This means he has a considerable commute to Alpharetta, Monday through Thursday, but he has listened to an amazing number of books on tape. He has also been working on his drawing skills (mostly during church) and of course his tennis serve (not during church). Paul has added something new to his portfolio this year. He’s been singing in the church choir (just for me). He doesn’t have experience singing harmony but has excellent pitch. As long as there’s someone sitting close to him in his section (tenor), he’s definitely an asset. He still makes delicious rolls. This is actually the best food our family has to offer, so the Stokers are usually asked to provide rolls when it’s food assignment time. Yay for me.

Since September, I have only had 1 child living at home. I remember when I first started this motherhood journey, I would dream about the things I would do when I got my life back. Now, I wonder what life I was talking about. There isn’t really anything I enjoy more than being with my children. Of course they don’t cry as much as they used to, but to tell the truth, it can be excruciatingly quiet around here. Thankfully, I still teach seminary. I substitute in the schools about once a month. That’s all I need to help me maintain an enormous respect for the intense responsibility teachers have. Substituting doesn’t pay much, but sometimes a sweet student will draw me a picture or give me a hug and that makes it worth it. Other times… it’s my service to the community.

Miss Rebecca went to college this year. I’ve almost recovered from the loss. She’s happy that she’s now 18. Being only 17 for the first few months of the school year gave her friends a lot to tease her about. “What are you doing at this meeting, Rebecca? It’s for adults.” But now she can vote and take herself to the doctor. She loves everything about BYU, except Calculus which she doesn’t have to worry about anymore (she dropped it), and American Heritage which she won’t have to worry about when the semester ends. She takes good care of her mother and sends me pictures and posts on Facebook and calls me a couple of times a week to tell me stories. She cooks food, does laundry and cleans and grocery shops. She’s a great little adult.

Gabe is in 9^th grade. He says he has senioritis. It could be a long 4 years for this guy, but I’m proud of him. He comes home from school every day and does his homework and practices his instrument. He doesn’t like it, but he does it. I’ll call that a win. Gabe’s in my seminary class this year. Someone asked him how he likes it. He said, “It’s okay.” In Gabe-speak that’s very high praise indeed. He has some victories to report. He beat his Perplexus puzzle. He won the Strikers Wii game, and he can play “Joy to the World” on the piano.

The other children are scattered all around the country doing good things:

Daniel, Erica, Caleb and Landon live in St. Louis, not far from Erica’s family. Daniel flies for Delta and the USAF Reserves.

Brandon, Mallory, Annabelle, Josh, Isaac, and Eli live in Portland. Brandon still works for and loves Nike.

Nathan, Ariane and brand-new Caden live in Houston. Ariane works as a Physical Therapist part-time and Nathan graduates in May when he’s hoping to get into a pediatrics residency program.

Aaron, Clarissa and Lucy still live in Las Vegas with one more year down in Dental school.

Jacob, Alexa and Isla live in Sacramento, very near Alexa’s parents, as in upstairs. Jacob started Medical school in August.

Eliza, Joseph, Hyrum and 2 month-old Emmaline are in their 3^rd year of Dental school in Omaha.

Andrew studies at UVU in Orem, UT.

We need to work on our 4th of July celebration.

So, 2 years ago was the best 4th of July ever. It was the year of the family picture. All the Stoker kids were at my house at the same time, There were a lot of children, grown-ups, food, chaos, noise and fun and now I'll never be the same.

 Last year's 4th of July was saved by my niece and her family coming to visit. Once again, I loved 4th of July.

But this year, 2015, I only had 2 almost grown children and a husband in my house. That, my friends, is not enough for a celebration. What's the point of having 9 siblings and 9 children if nobody comes to visit on 4th of July? To be fair, there were efforts to plan family reunions by both groups, but it was a crazy year for siblings with 2 weddings and 3 graduations that took me to UT in May. It didn't seem feasible to go again in July. Several children (actually in-laws who somehow seem to be better planners than my actual children) tried to get people to commit to a reunion, but with different school schedules, and house purchases and in-law weddings, and our employment uncertainty we postponed the plans. It made sense at the time, and I didn't think much about it until I realized what my July 4th would look like, and then it was not okay with me. All children listen up, I want my holidays crazy and chaotic and a lot of work and inconvenience because so many of my loved ones are surrounding me. I was going to be stoic and brave and keep a stiff upper lip but decided I was going public with this tantrum. This way everyone will understand the expectations. And if you can't come to me, then just put out the air mattress and extra towels, because we're coming to you.

It's not that there were no good things happening  here on the 4th. We made an effort and the people that live here are lovely. So it is with gratitude for what I do have that I report on our Independence Day celebration.

We started the day dressing in our holiday shirts. Red, white and blue is the order of the day and indicate that the celebration has begun. By the way, this year we learned that White represents purity and innocence. Red stands for hardiness and valor. And Blue is for vigilance, perseverance and justice. Knowing that feels very festive.

We were on our way to the excellent PTC parade, but there was a downpour such that we were sure it was cancelled. Not so. Friends posted their pictures on facebook in short order and we had to be content with watching the parade vicariously through our drenched social media friends.

We spent the time at home planning our celebration. My experience has been that if there's not a list we just drift along the path of least resistance and that does not a celebration make. So we determined our holiday craft, our holiday outside activity, our holiday game, our holiday food and our holiday movie.

Our holiday craft consisted of making Birthday cards for our dear ones born on and near the 4th of July. Next up was red, white and bluifying a ping pong ball for 4th of July ping pong. Interestingly, I got some resistance to that idea. One male person in our family didn't want to waste a ping pong ball. Another was afraid that the magic marker would change the properties of the ball and alter the aerodynamics so as to ruin his game. They were kind and flexible to acquiesce to my request and did a nice job decorating said ball and donating to the cause.

There was a church hike planned  to Sweetwater creek, a place I'd wanted to go, so I was excited. However, the weather forecast predicted more rain at the hike start time, so we decided to forego this activity too. I recognized that this day was quickly becoming a regular sit around with the fam day so at this point I took action. Luckily the Sister missionaries and a good friend of mine were available to make sure it felt like a celebration. They consented to joining us for dinner. I started to feel a lot better about our fun level. We definitely needed more people for it to feel like a party. And if company was coming we'd better have some food. Guests are the best motivators.

Instead of our hike we drove a few minutes to Patriot Park. (Are we festive or what? Get it, Patriot?) We walked around the newly added veteran's memorial which was beautiful and actually felt very 4th of July-ish.

We had a lovely time with our company who added greatly to my happiness. Paul had made delicious holiday cupcakes and we enjoyed our holiday meal.

When our company left we played our family 4th of July ping pong which actually was a blast.

Our Independence Day game consisted of the girls' team designing questions for the boys' team to answer and vice versa. We didn't really make any ground rules. We just said, "Come up with historical questions about the 4th of July." There was a marked difference between the boys' questions and the girls' questions which made it...historical?

The girls' questions were:

1. Do as many push-ups as there are stripes on the flag and tell what they stand for.

2. Do as many sit-ups as there are stars on the flag.

3. Use sign language to write the last name of the person who sewed the first flag.

4. Form the numerals in the year of the Declaration of Independence with your body.

5. Name 4 real people who share the first name of the largest signature on the Declaration.

6. Where is the Declaration of Independence displayed and what are your favorite nearby museums?

7. Re-enact Paul Revere's ride.

8. Sing the song written by Frances Scott Key

9. Name the British King at the time of the Declaration of Independence.

10. What's the difference between the Declaration of Independence, the Bill of Rights and the Constitution?

11. Who was America named after?

The boys' questions were:

1.What battle during the Civil War was the major turning point of the war?

2. What battle during World War II was the turning point in the Pacific?

3. Who was the President during the Vietnam War?

4. Which country started World War I?

5. Who invented the Polio Vaccine?

6. Where was the First Atomic Bomb tested?

7. Who was the First Governor of Georgia?

8. Who was the statesman who was a senator from Kentucky and died at the Alamo?

9. What was the first Nuclear ship?

10. Who was the First Astronaut to step on the moon?

Needless to say, the boys answered more questions.

After the game we watched "National Treasure." And that was that.

Luckily, on Sunday we were part of a lovely patriotic program at church written by Victoria Wilcox and Melinda Talley. It was during this program that I realized how blessed I am to live in this country and the sacrifice made by the patriots who declared and fought for independence for our country. And even if only 2 of my children were with me this year, I'm blessed beyond measure and have much to celebrate.

My pathetic Easter was a great Easter.

Stoker Easter traditions have been spotty at best. I've written about my quest to find the perfect balance between eggs and the celebration of the most important event in the history of the world.With only 2 children at home and the youngest being 15 it was surprisingly easy to arrive on Easter Sunday without hunting, or coloring for that matter, any eggs. I'm not really proud that we skipped the coloring, and I only had a touch of regret about hunting when I saw Taylor and her brother giddily running around the yard. Y'all saw Taylor Swift's Easter video, right? There were no new dresses or ties or socks and that felt fine. We have lots of dresses and besides, this was a special Easter. This was one of the wonderful years that General Conference falls on Easter Sunday. That means we don't go to our regular Sunday meetings.  The Mormons throughout the world gather to screens with internet access in our churches, at home, or on our i-pads and watch 8 hours of inspired words over the course of 2 days by the Prophet and Apostles of the Savior Jesus Christ.

Like many people, we watched at home. We had our food spread on the table, Gabe had his puzzle and Legos ready.

He also took a few notes if anyone is wondering if he was excused from listening.

I had found an excellent Conference Bingo game online. However I had a hard time getting people excited about it. I kept winning, mostly because I was the only one trying. The game was so awesome. Who wouldn't want to play?

We sat comfortably around the living room and I was happy, because I'm a mom, and my family was gathered at home and we were learning about our Redeemer and how we could better show our love for him.

On Sunday morning, we did head over to the church.  That has been our Sunday General Conference tradition to remind us that it is the Sabbath. Now the children are old enough to know it's the Sabbath, but we still did it.  There was some conversation as to whether this was necessary. (Our couches were calling us.) I'm very glad we did, because the one thing you can count on when viewing conference at the church is missionaries. They don't have internet and they want to be there for anyone who comes to the church  to view the sessions. One of the elders is from Haiti. I knew that because when President Monson announced that a temple would be built in Haiti, this elder's joy could not be contained. He clapped his hands and laughed and fist pumped and laughed and didn't stop smiling the whole time. His excitement was contagious and tears stung my eyes as I watched him and felt what he felt.

I always take notes, even though I can read, view, and listen again at lds.org.  It gives me a head start on my long list of ways I need to improve and helps me remember insights that gave me clarity.  Here are a few of my notes:

Elder Boyd K. Packer: "The end of all activity in the church is to see that a man and woman are happy at home, sealed for time and all eternity." "When our physical bodies are healed there may be scars, but with our spiritual bodies, when the repentance process is complete, no scars remain."

Linda K. Burton: "Our hands are suited to each other but not exactly the same.  They are exact opposites yet they are strong together and fit perfectly. Men and women complete each other-not compete with each other."  Concerning our spouse we should Speak respectfully, sincerely praise, pray for each other, stop from saying hurtful things, apologize, and  choose to be happy rather than demanding. We should seek the help of the Holy Ghost in our relationships."

Dallin H. Oaks: "The good Samaritan used the same coinage to serve his fellow man that Judas used to betray Jesus. Avoid materialism."

L. Whitney Clayton: "Recognizing the Savior's spiritual light begins with our desire to believe. Belief doesn't just happen to us. It is something we choose. Our actions are evidence of our belief.  Do not give up, ever."

L. Tom Perry: "The older I get, the more I realize that family is the center of life." "He rarely moves the mountains in front of us, but he always helps us climb them."

David A. Bednar: "Godly fear dispels mortal fear. It dispels fear that we'll never be good enough. In truth we cannot be good enough.We are saved through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. We must love and trust Him."

Wilford W. Anderson: "If our children learn the dance steps without hearing the music, eventually they'll feel awkward and stop dancing." "Dissonance cannot be corrected by criticism. We must be patient and keep practicing."

D. Todd Christofferson: "Twas I, but tis not I." William Shakespeare "One of God's greatest gifts to us is the chance to try again. If we don't try we're latter-day sinners. If we don't persevere we're latter-day quitters. If we don't allow other to try we're latter-day hypocrites." A missionary was annoyed by his companion. As he prayed about it he received this impressions,"Compared to me, the 2 of you aren't all that different."

Michael T. Ringwood: "Great women and men are always more anxious to serve than to have dominion.

Sister Wixom: "Hold fast to what you already know and stand strong until more knowledge comes."

Bishop Gerard Causse: "Never tire of discovering or rediscovering the truths of the gospel.There is always something new in every meeting and every verse."

Brent H. Nielson: "Although we could not embrace all her choices, we could certainly embrace her."

Dieter F. Uchdorf: "Grace unlocks the gates of heavens and opens the windows of heaven." "Salvation can't be bought by obedience. It is bought with the blood of the Savior." "We obey out of love for Him." "Living the gospel faithfully is not a burden. It is a joyful rehearsal." "Grace is the gift. Obedience to th3e commandments is the reaching out our hands to receive the gift."

Robert D. Hales:"We must work to protect: 1. Freedom to believe. 2. Freedom to share faith and our belief with others. 3. Freedom to form a religious organization 4. Freedom to live our faith.

Kevin W. Pearson: "Enduring to the end is constantly coming unto Christ, and total commitment to the Savior and his covenants."

Neil L. Anderson: "May we prepare for His coming by hearing the events of Easter again and again."

Jorge Zeballis: "Men cannot rest with mediocrity as long as excellence is in our reach."

Russell M. Nelson: "Because of what I have heard and felt, how will I change?" "My conduct and attitude on the Sabbath constitutes a sign between me and the Father." "What sign will I give the Lord to show my love for Him?" "True believers keep the Sabbath Day holy."

Rebecca Stoker (daughter) "This music is true."

And we had Easter dinner with friends and the day was perfect.