Stoker report

Let's say this picture represents our goals and aspirations. It was the last day of school, first day of summer, everything was possible, all wrongs would be righted, all weaknesses would be made strengths, miraculous changes were coming our way. I laid out the programs that would bring about these changes. Gabe, qualifying for the manly program which includes 4 hours of work daily,would learn to work cheerfully, improve cooking skills, read, improve his musical instruments, rock his scouting and Duty to God, accomplish hard things and serve in the community. Rebecca, who did not qualify for the complete program because she is employed, would improve her homemaking skills and whatever else was on her list which is much longer than mine. Andrew, who is an employed adult, would be an appreciative guest, make wise choices and fly under his mom's radar. I would keep the kids moving forward, read books, keep things managed and enjoy the company of my children.

And now school has started again and although we're all very recognizable, I'm going to call it a win. Here are some of our great victories:

Gabe and Andrew improved their concentration and
manipulation skills by spending hours on Perplexus,
not to mention building family relationships.

 I actually called and made
a commitment for a date, which is a huge summertime accomplishment.
 (Inertia and all)
We went at the appointed time and bagged
granola bars for the Midwest food bank. Yay!

Nothing says "Independence" like making your own treats.

Gabe is not a fan of reading, but in order to gain
 Mario Strikers time, one hour for every 200 pp read,
he endured the pain .

For some of you this may not look like much,
but at the Stoker house this is an amazingly
organized bookshelf.  Woo hoo!

Gabe ordered burrito, rice and beans instead of chicken fingers
and fries. Way to be adventurous!

Gabe helped me keep my flowers alive and weeded.
Thanks buddy.

Our tomatoes provided much summer drama.
They grew beautifully until the deer made it over
to our planterrific neighborhood.
 We thought they would pass on
our meager garden, but they were just waiting til the time was right to
devour our only hope for harvest.
After the attack Gabe faithfully sprayed our plants with milk, which was
a  deterrent, but this morning I found a tomato worm.
We're doomed!
But Gabe was valiant in the fight.

Scouting went like this,
 Me: "What are you working on?"
Gabe: "I don't know."
Me:" Can you ask your scout leader?"
repeat.
Luckily, Dad's got this and

Gabe found out he has 3 loops, 1 arch and the rest were whirls-
very rare fingerprints. Progress!

Motivated by Rebecca's scripture placement,
I practiced my Primary songs and Gabe
learned 2 1/2 hymns.

This  was a shared victory. I need
to cook more creatively. The kids need to be braver eaters.
Gladys Camp taught me how to make this
delicious cauliflower casserole and the kids ate it. Go us.

This wonder girl dominated her list
and made some  progress on mine.
This one time, her room was completely clean.

Andrew was a grateful guest and flew pretty low.
I know life was a little slow on the homefront for a 19-yr. old
but thanks for hanging out with us. oxox

So on we go, trying and hoping and reaching, humanness and all. There's always next summer for perfection.

SCHOOL'S OUT!!! WAHOO!!!...now what?

There's a whole lot of happiness around the Stoker house.  Friday was the last day of school.  And really, is there any place with more possibilities than the beginning of summer?  Gabe had his last day of elementary school.  They send the 5th graders out with a "Walk of fame".  All the parents line the hallways while the students take their final walk through school.  The walls are lined with posters the families made with congratulatory messages.  They sent the students home early with 2 DVD's one of field day and one of all the students and their favorite quotes.  Pretty nice tradition.

Rebecca finished her last day of Middle School.  She was also "Walked out of school"  Poor thing had to go to school for the whole day.   There were 3 teachers retiring and her school feeds into 5 High Schools so it was pretty emotional, but she came home with a  big smile.  At dinner Paul asked, "What are you going to do to continue your academic development over the summer?" Rebecca replied "PARTAY!!!!"  She confided, "I really don't want to do anything with pencil and paper anymore."  Bless her heart.



It seems like Andrew's been out of school for a week.  He had some finals, and yet nary a book was cracked.  He said something about only needing 16 % to maintain a B in Physics.  (Just breathe, Mom)  He went out, worked out, and hung out.  The Seniors "Walked out." and left him and his fellow Juniors ruling the school.  They wore their senior t-shirts and took all the best parking places.  If it weren't for me nagging him about ACT prep, college applications, and finding a job he wouldn't have a care in the world.

I love being with my kids, but summer can be a lot of work for moms.  We can't have them "Eating the bread of idleness" now can we?  There's always that transition from grueling morning regimens, being with friends, working mostly on their own stuff, to relaxed mornings, being with siblings, and working on family stuff.  It's usually an ugly first couple of weeks, but then it gets great.

We've had various summer programs with the different ages of the children, but the main elements are basically the same.  Kids are happier playing after they've worked.  The day starts with a list.  The  daily, every-child items are things like brush teeth, say prayers, make bed, (which somehow never happens) do outside job, practice instrument, read, choose from job list.  The first child up gets to choose first.  This  works well in theory, but as I recall, the same child always ended up cleaning the bathrooms.  Everyone has to be reading a book.  If they read a Newberry award or classic I'll take them to Dairy Queen. The older children have what we call "Gabe jobs."  They work with him in Math, writing, typing, etc.

Summer is a good time to learn life skills.  Each child has to take a turn doing laundry for a week.  Since Gabe's the only one who doesn't do his own laundry I guess he'll have to take turns with me.  I also have the children take a week of cooking.  This program is not for the faint of heart.  I do help according to their age, but I have them choose recipes and shop with me.  There is so much weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth, not to mention food that is, shall we say, questionable in quality and flavor, that it almost does me in.

Now if you're old enough to have a job, we have a "Manly program."  We mostly have men anyway, but it comes from "Being a Man", "Manning up,"  etc.  Anyone in this program (it starts at 14) needs to be working at least 4 hours a day 5 days a week.  They can procure outside employment and be paid for their efforts, volunteer their services in the community or for other families, or work for me.    I pay a reduced amount for certain jobs like lawn mowing.  Last year I allowed Andrew to choose his hours as long as he did the  work.  This year I'm changing that because I want him to gain the being-on-time-to-work skill. I really just want him to get employment so on the top of his list is always apply for jobs.

Thursdays are our day off.   I like to go somewhere fun as a family. Sometimes we just enjoy having no lists, which is only fun if we had lists the days before.  TV days are still Friday and Saturday.  When the kids were little they had Tuesday too. We swim, eat snow cones, mango salsa, and watermelon, and when everyone's finally in the working groove it's time for a ROAD TRIP!  That's the real best part of summer.