Don't Cry. I'm sorry.

Last week's subbing experience brought a new challenge: crying. Things were going along in the usual chaotic fashion, and then one student said, "____'s cheeks are getting rosy." I remember thinking, "That's okay, right?" Next thing I knew, tears were falling down those cute rosy cheeks. Little sad boys's heart seemed to be breaking. When I investigated I discovered that some kids had teased him about his nickname.

As a parent I had mixed feelings about forced apologies.  The "Say your sorry" brought forth an insincere and rushed "sorry" as the offender went on their way. But I wanted my children to feel remorse and compassion and a desire to change. My next move was to deal out a punishment so that the guilty party would remember that their choice brought about uncomfortable results.  I'm not sure how effective this was and it seemed there was a lot of the "sorrow of the damned" (I'm sorry I got caught") and not so much sorrow unto repentance and real change.

A couple of years ago I saw this brilliant formula on facebook (the source of so much knowledge).
I'm sorry I ___________________
This was wrong because _______________
Next time I'll______________________
Will you forgive me?

This seems to be the better way to apologize.  Sincere apology is powerful in restoring a relationship. I remember when I was little we were on a car trip, and I made a suggestion that was ignored. I laugh that I even registered this now that I'm an adult and know how many suggestions and requests a parent receives. I'm sure what I really was was tired and grumpy and feeling sorry for myself.  I sat in the back of the car and cried real tears. When my dad saw that I was crying he apologized sincerely and told me he loved me and called me "Little Laurie." Even though I wanted to continue to sulk I couldn't resist the power of his sincere remorse and concern. My hurt feelings drifted away and I was whole and acknowledged to myself that I might have overreacted a bit.

A classroom setting or any large group of children (like what we had in my family) makes it challenging to stop and restore friendships, but in the face of these tears, I felt it was important to try.  Interestingly enough, on this particular day I had 5 children cry. I don't know if I should take that personally, but lets just say we had a lot of opportunities to practice our conflict resolution. I taught the children the apology formula after the first incident. After every other incident we went through the steps.  It went like this: "I'm sorry I told you _____ likes you. That was wrong because we don't have boyfriends in second grade. Next time I won't tell you, even though it's true. Will you forgive me?"
 "I'm sorry I spit at you. That was wrong because it's gross. Next time I won't spit at you. Will you forgive me?" This didn't seem like much, but the criers were appeased pretty quickly and it was interesting to listen to the offenders verbalize their infractions. It reminded me that we probably don't need to spend much time lecturing kids. They're pretty clear on what they did wrong.

In the meantime, I could work on my apologies. My justifications may be impeding my progress . Today in seminary we read a scripture that said, "And because thou hast seen thy weakness, thou shalt be made strong." Ether 12:36 So I'm sorry I don't apologize enough. This is wrong because it keeps me from admitting guilt and becoming humble and restoring the damage I've done. Next time I'll try not to say the rude thing in the first place, and when I do say that rude thing, I'll apologize. Will you forgive me?

I love cute people.

Since the snow had melted in Nebraska, it was time for me to plan a trip.  I owed my friend, Joyce Starr, a visit. I had anticipated frequent travel to the Omaha airport since my daughter and her family live very close and the ATL/OMA flights seem strangely uncrowded,  (This is the time that I knock on wood) but winter scared me. Spring brought warmer temps and new courage. It was promising to be a glorious Friday as I drove out of town leaving my responsibilities behind. I felt slightly guilty but was able to contain the feeling by convincing myself that I was serving other loved ones. (Mostly I was serving myself.) The day didn't disappoint. Travel went as planned (that never happens) and Joyce and her husband, Rich, picked me up, curbside.  They proceeded to spoil me with delicious food, including a stop at the chocolate factory, kindness and the great feeling of being with life-long friends.

In the evening, Joseph, Eliza and Hyrum came to join the party as did the Starr girls. The house felt full and joyful. Morning dawned with Joseph shopping for and fixing a delicious crepe breakfast for Joyce's birthday. There were a lot of cute people at the table, Hyrum was a runaway favorite, but for me, the cutest thing that was said was when Eliza was ruminating over rolls she had tried to make that hadn't risen all the way. Rich stepped in, "You've mentioned that event a couple of times. I want you to take that thought, put it in a bag, twirl it, and throw it in the trash." Thanks for that excellent advice.

That afternoon we went to Eliza and Joseph's house.  Driving around in the back seat with Hyrum allowed me to try out a song I'd learned for subbing.

On the second day, if I stopped singing, Hyrum would wave his authoritative little one-year-old hand so I would know to continue.  Not only is he cute, he has some impressive skills.  He can walk forward, but backward also if approached by a person that looks like they would be grabbing him for tickles or hugs.  He drinks from a cup and here's the amazing part....can put it down on the table without spilling. This unbiased Grandma was amazed.

As if this weekend of cuteness wasn't enough, on Monday and Tuesday I substituted in a Kindergarten class.  Okay, mother alert: Kindergartners are reading! Don't even think about sending your child to school without preparation in phonics and creative writing. I did spend some time writing words on a yellow sticky in response to the plentiful "How do you spell.....?" questions, but no more "letter-a-week and at the end of the year we'll dress like zebras." One boy was reading a "Magic Treehouse" book. He was not the norm, but still, wowie.

What they do still have in kindergarten, however is "nap time." And it's long--one hour.  Granted, kindergarten is all day, and about 5 little cuties slept. (Their moms probably wonder why their kids won't go to bed at night.) I walked around taking a survey as to how the nap was coming. This is what I found; one finger wiggler, one leg-crossed foot tapper, one child yawning and playing with the hinges on the cupboard.  Once student  watching the teacher, (definitely up to something) one fixing his glasses, one  hiding under her sleep mat who actually fell asleep eventually. One child had wrapped and velcroed his nap mat around his head. There is supposed to be no socializing, but two children discovered that even though their heads were at opposite ends of the room, if they lifted their middles, they could look under their legs and make eye contact.  I was impressed with their ingenuity so took a while to tell them to lie down. It felt like one of the longest hours of my life, so I can imagine how they felt, but an hour of silence definitely makes science looks good.

A very important part of public education is lining up and walking in a quiet line through the hall.  I'm always looking for tips as to how to succeed in this area. These kindergartners demonstrated a fantastic line-up strategy. When they're in line they raise their hands.  When every student has raised his hands, the teacher says, "One, two, three, four." The children put their hands down to their sides and call back, "five, six, seven, eight, we are quiet, we are straight!" I also learned about two excellent read-aloud books,. "The Book w/No Pictures" by Novak and "The Day the Crayons Quit" by Daywall. Very good reads. You're welcome.

And here are some cute things they said:  A little girl trying to line up, but full of exciting news shared "If you come tomorrow you'll see my dress. Guess what? My dress will be red." One little boy was trying to get psyched for his writing assignment, "So, let's put a name on this paper." We were learning about capacity in math and quarts and pints were mentioned. The light went on in one little guy's mind, "Like Chinese food!" At the end of the day the car riders were helping me clean up the room. One of my helpers said, "Let's have the strong one put the chairs on the desks. That's me."

So cute.

I've decided that the best place in school is second grade.

I had some fun teaching days this week. Fourth grade was great. They were good learners that could  play a bit and then get back to work.  When we had extra time in math I suggested a multiplication facts shoot-out. (I'd learned it at another school.) I brought them to the front, one table at a time, and had them square off to see who could answer the math fact on the flash card first. Fun. right? Well, this game should really be called, "How to not win without falling apart." I thought about cutting it short when I saw some less than stellar dealing-with-disappointment but then decided that gracious losing was very educational as was gracious winning,

When I heard a student say, "I don't want to go against (so and so). I know they'll win." I just had to point to March Madness and remind them that it was anybody's game.  We played until we had a champion from each table and then called for anyone who had lost that wanted to try again.  That brought up quite a few determined students.  As it turns out, the final champion was from the consolation bracket. Don't give up. Anything can happen.

I always think subbing for a music teacher is going to be more fun than it is. I want lesson plans with learning, and all I've gotten so far is video watching. That means 6 hours of drilling students on sitting criss-cross applesauce, without lying down, on the designated carpet, staying in their place, without touching their neighbor, quietly. Frankly, it's exhausting. But the kids were hilarious. One class came in all compliments (they were probably second graders) "I like your dress." "I like your hair." The cute little first graders had this conversation, "She's not the music teacher." "She's a sub." "The music teacher is part brown and part white.She's all the way white." :) Another class had a new boy join them for the first time 1/2 way through the movie.  I was filled with anxiety as I empathized with this little child entering a room full of strangers. but my concern was met with relief as their response was delightful.  When he sat down they all scooted to sit by him. He got pats and introductions. "What do you like to do?" "Come sit by us." I've never seen anything like the welcome they extended. Someone needs to share the secret so all the new kids around the country can feel that warm extended hand.

I've heard a lot of maladies in my short career; scratch on the leg, sore in the mouth,  stomach ache, headache. "The front of my leg hurts, the back of my leg hurts. my wrist hurts." But Wednesday I heard something new. Student: "I coughed and some mucous came into my mouth." Me: "Okay. Sometimes that happens." Ten minutes later the student raised her hand again, "Can I put the mucous in the trash can?" Me, "Um yes. Please use a Kleenex." I can honestly say, I did not anticipate that conversation.

And then there was today, the heavenly second grade day. They read, work independently, love their teacher, like to learn, try to please, and are game to have fun.  When I walked in, the parapro said, "This is Mrs. Stoker. She'll be your sub today." A student in the back said, "Yay!" (That's not necessarily a typical response.) Later I asked, Who would like to volunteer?" They all raised their hand. "Who can tell us...?" "They raised their hand. "Let's go to the carpet to read." They went to the carpet. I told them a silly joke. They laughed and then took turns telling me jokes. We played "Valley of the Green Glass Door." They thought about it and puzzled it in their minds all day. There were a couple of times when they were waiting for their peers to finish their work, and they were allowed to read, draw, etc. Some read, 3 little girls drew a picture. For me. <3 <3 <3 I felt like a million bucks after taxes.

No more playing the "new girl" card.

This week I only had 1 prearranged subbing gig where I knew ahead of time where I'd be. The other 3 were my calling after seminary to find out what was available. Who says I don't like an adrenaline rush every morning? I think most of all, I like the fact that they're desperate and will feel thankful just to have someone come in and will be forgiving of my inexperience. Well it turns out that's exactly what they needed to be.

When I substituted in music it started out so great.  I showed the videos the teacher had predetermined which taught me all about singing the Blues...12 bars of 4 beats, 3 chords and a special scale, and Reggae...accent on the 2nd and 4th beat, strumming up, and a message about peace and love. I had a nice quiet lunch and then went to show the videos again and got this terrifying message "Session expired, enter user name and password." Well I panicked and did what any self-respecting sub would do. I called the office.  Yes I did. They sent the IT person in who said, 'Um. I can't help you." At that point I desperately started thinking of alternate activities and only came up with a rhythm game which I thought lasted for longer than it actually did and then promptly lined the students up about 15 minutes early. As I was standing at the door, the parapro who had oriented me that morning walked by and asked how it was going.  I described my predicament and she saved me with this amazing information. "The user name and password is on the top of the teacher's directions."Ugh. Of course. The instructions. What a great hiding place. Okay, that was embarrassing.

Yesterday, I taught a 4th grade class. Things were going along normally (for a sub) with me trying to keep control and direct the students in their activities and stay friendly but firm, when a boy raised his had and said, "These people are being disrespectful. They would never act this way for the teacher." Okay, that hurt. Apparently the noise and disruption level that I tolerate is not the level that is ideal for learning.  I spent all of my lunch hour thinking about what my goals were as a substitute teacher.  I didn't just want to be the babysitter.  I wanted to help the kids learn, feel safe, be happy and also help the teacher maintain the expectations established. It is time for me to ramp up my skills.  On the other hand, I feel that sometimes we're too strict and make silence the most valued attribute.  So I've considered the teachers' positions and the students' positions and how much influence I can really have in one day. Here are my new resolves:

1. Read all the instructions. All of them. Even if the parapro explained them to me.

2. Learn the school rules

3. Have interesting activities for lining up. We spend a lot of time lining up.

4. If I have a home room, learn the names. Have a name game, use labels.

5. Have a discipline plan, leverage my assets, which as a sub aren't many...recess, lining up first, passing out papers, reward with sticky notes.

6. Keep and show my sense of humor

7. Be thankful for the great things I get to learn and experience by being with children:



Monday-Excellence should be encouraged.  I was walking a little boy to another class.
As we were walking, he was twirling. I thought he was showing great coordination and motor planning. One of the teachers looked out her door and asked him, "Is that how we walk down the hall?" Okay, call me a rebel, but isn't it more educational to twirl and walk than just walk?

Tuesday-I don't think sitting in a desk for 7 hours a day is a match for some students' dispositions.  I noticed some boys who were working pretty well in periods 2 and 3 but were about ready to explode by period 5-6. I'm trying to think of a way to give them a little activity without all that energy blowing into a storm. I'm still working on it, but for what it's worth, I feel ya, bud.

Thursday-Music is great for everyone.  Don't ever let it be eliminated from the schools.

Friday-The adult world is so predictable. If you want magic in your life, spend time with a child.
One student walked up to me and said," I want you to wear this ring. It matches your outfit and your eyes." Another girl gave me this delicious cookie, which was exactly what I needed. In the cafeteria, a sweet beautiful girl from church came up and gave me a hug, it was the other thing I needed.

Don't be afraid to be different, like the little boy who told me he didn't need a jacket to go outside for recess. "I'm not like other people. I don't get cold. My parents lived in MN and my uncle lives in Alaska"

So after all this learning and making mistakes and contemplating the areas I need to improve, I'm not going to be the confused new girl any more.  I'm gong to be the prepared, well-read, tricks-up-her-sleeve, sub who rocks.

What would the world look like with no technology?

That was the question for the art students in elementary school today. I was anxious to see the responses since my son and I had just had that conversation a few days ago. We talked about rotary phones and black and white TVs and being a slave to network programming.  All the world stopped on the one day a year when "Sound of Music," "Wizard of Oz," or "Cinderella" with Lesley Ann Warren came on TV. We went to the city library to look up things in the encyclopedia and Grandma taught me how to crochet, not YouTube.

The students were to draw a picture of the world without technology.  There was a picture of someone running up 11 stories to say "Hi" to their friend. One student drew a picture of himself shooting a deer for dinner and cooking it up on the fire.  Another picture featured a person writing a letter to a family member and the mailman picking it up on horseback. However, the majority of the pictures portrayed weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth. "This is me crying because I have no technology." "This is me angry because I can't play video games." "This is a world, miserable, because there are no computers." I guess it was a "win" because the students realized how thankful they are for what they have, but it kind of made me want to take everyone's cell phone and computer time away.


I do want to give a shout out to the "Leader in Me" program.  It's the one with the 7 habits: 1 Be Proactive. 2. Begin with the end in mind. 3. Put first things first. 4. Think Win-Win. 5. Seek first to understand then to be understood. 6. Synergize. 7. Sharpen the saw. In class, one little boy raised his hand and informed me that the cute little girl next to him called him an "idiot." A girl sitting by him on the other side verified, "Yes. She says a lot of mean things.  She just moved here this year. She doesn't know the 'habits." Well apparently one of those habits teaches the kids not to call names and I'm all for it.

There were actually a lot of good choices in elementary art today. Okay, one boy made an airplane instead of a sketchbook, and there was a student that filled his supply box with markers, pencils and 15 erasers, (what?) and another girl drew on her face with purple, and when the first-grade teacher came to pick up her class there were about 7 children running around the room, definitely not in a quiet line, but you should see the awesome pictures stacked up and waiting for the real teacher to return and only 2 markers without lids.

Middle School...Dun, dun, dun, dun.

Middle School orchestra has been on my sub calendar for a couple of weeks. Unlike the days where I find out my job at 8:00 that morning, I had first day of school dreams all during the night before. This would be a con.  I brushed up on my music; "Rebecca, what's that little sign on the first page?" "It's for bowing. It means down."  "What note do they tune to?" "A"   More knowledge is a pro. And then I went to the place full of 12-14 yr.-olds with the verdict still out as to whether or not I would survive.

What students don't know is that they choose how nice their sub is. I'm a fun person that loves to say yes, but by the end of the day that person was nowhere to be seen. "No. I'm not letting anyone leave class to get water." "No cell phones." "No one lying on the floor. Sit in a seat." "No talking." "No breathing." "No blinking." Okay, I didn't say those last two, but no one would have been surprised if I had.

The kids started out entertaining me with their funny jokes, but by the end of the second day I just wanted them to shut their precious little mouths. It would have been better for everyone if they had gotten to play their instruments. Instead we were assigned a rhythm worksheet the first day, which was actually a solid learning activity for the 6th and 7th graders but busy work for the 8th graders, and watched a video the second day. Unfortunately, many had already seen it and preferred talking loudly to their friends.  We also had many people willing to comment often during the movie. The sad karma is that I deserved this day.  I was the student that always talked loudly to her friends. The teachers were interrupting ME. And  I constantly made smart comments during movies. (I may or may not have out-grown this.) And the teachers who didn't understand this as a normal part of life were just mean. So today I was mean.

Another thing I had not considered (I'm a little slow) is that when a teacher shows a movie to a class, that means he watches it up to 6 times in one day.  That is a lot of times. Granted, I believe in the value of repetition in learning, and the funny parts got a little funnier, but bless the teachers' hearts for sitting through that. Good thing there's plenty of policing to do to keep things exciting. Speaking of exciting, we never had time to see the end, and the video wouldn't let me fast forward, so I'm dying to find out how Beethoven's 9th symphony debut turned out.

But here are the great parts. Some girls were talking about a boy who had gotten into trouble. One girl said, "His parents don't care about him." The other said, "No they don't. He still has his phone." I was impressed with this mature observation and the expectation that a parent who cared would take away privileges . A student gave me a valentine cupcake. A girl from church stopped in to say "Hi" when she saw me from the hall. One boy got his cello out and started practicing beautifully when he finished his worksheet. A lot of students did not talk loudly or make smart comments during the movie. And the buffalo wings from the cafeteria were surprisingly delicious.

Teenagers these days are so...great, actually.

There's lots to worry about with the youth of today, they love their phones, they have too much, they spend a lot of time being entertained. But there are a lot of things to be proud of too. Did I mentioned the fifteen 9th graders who come to the early morning scripture study class that I teach every day? They are learning 25 scriptures this year. They try to have personal scripture study every day and are striving to pattern their life after the Savior.

One of my 9th grade girls plays on a team at school. The other players noticed that she never says any bad words.  They asked her about it and she explained her commitments and beliefs.  Now they try and watch their language when they are with her.

Last week we were discussing the Lord's laws of retribution, war and retaliation found in D&C 98. It involves patience, forgiveness, and a fair amount of turning the other cheek. One student commented that there is a guy at school that picks on him during PE. Another boy mentioned that there is someone at school that bullies him too. A tall, quiet, athletic boy from the other side of the room spoke up in a very protective way, "What's their name?" As I saw him shaking his head, I realized that he was a kind and loyal friend who was going to help out his seminary buddies at school.

The next day, I went to said school to substitute in health and PE.  As luck would have it, the PE teachers have lunch duty. Speaking of lunch duty, I have some opinions. My first lunch duty was a very stressful 30 minutes in the loudest place on the earth.  I walked around intimidating people with my mom look as they drank ketchup, tossed a little food around and made each other cry. (This was elementary school.)  Some of the children were polite and ate calmly and talked quietly, but it was still loud.  I've heard of a school in our district that has silent lunch. If I had heard that before I would have thought that was horrible and fought for the students' right to talk.  Now I see it as a kind gift of peace and quiet to help the students regroup before they have to meet the challenges of the day.  The other elementary school that I observed might have found the perfect formula.  They play soothing instrumental music that really seems to take the edge off of the volume.  For any school administrators who wonder what my opinion is.  I vote for soothing music and a little talking.

 Anyway, as I was walking around the high school cafeteria, impressed with how few people were drinking the condiments and the skillful way they sat on their benches, a student walked up to me with a big smile on his face. He introduced himself, "Hello, I sit with Rebecca (my daughter) and I wanted to invite you to come eat lunch with us.  I think it would be cool." How adorable is that? Of course I can't sit while on lunch duty, only walk and stand, but I went over to chat.  The students were adorable.  We told sub stories and I got some tips."One sub walked up behind a student and whispered in his ear, 'You'd better listen to me."  Gets 'em every time.

I knew it could be a potentially awkward position for my seminary students if a sub ran up to greet them with a hug and hello, (Subs aren't typically very popular) so I tried to play it cool to protect their reputation. But then one of my girls ran up to me and gave me a hug and hello. Well that made my day, she's a true friend. I observed other positive behaviors in the classroom, students shushing each other when it was time to listen, students finishing their assignments and contributing insightful comments to the discussion.

It's good to be concerned, and we need to continue to fight drugs, abuse, pornography and all the evils in the world, but know that there are some excellent people who are preparing to lead and take their place standing for truth and right. They might even be the kids drinking the ketchup.

A day in the life...Elementary PE

I had all my morning bags packed; seminary stuff, scriptures, computer, workout clothes just in case I didn't sub, and a bag with water, almonds, lunch money and book (Planning period) just in case I did. After seminary I discovered that I was to have another new life experience; elementary PE. That sounded kind of fun, I love PE. Of course my next thought was, "What am I supposed to wear? I was already wearing a carefully chosen comfortable dress and comfortable ballet flats for a day in the classroom. I couldn't wear my real workout clothes. No one should have to see those. Ask my family and the people who work at the grocery store. I ran home scanning the athletic wear and found some nice pants in my husband's pile (He loves to shop at Dick's.) I grabbed my BYU hoodie (also my husband's) and ran out the door.

I walked into the gym and introduced myself to the other PE coach. He told me about his daughter's volleyball, asked if I had watched the Superbowl, (I hadn't) confessed that he hadn't either and then said, "I have those pants." "Yeah, they're my husbands." It's a good thing I'm old or that would have been awkward. I just take it as a sign that I wore the right clothes.

Then I started learning about being a PE teacher. There are a lot of teaching styles out there and this coach used some excellent skills.  He used a gentle friendly voice but had high expectations. He gave frequent cues, praised and instructed rather than lectured and punished.  He had consequences for choices, but he conveyed a trust in the kids that they would use good strategies, be honest, use good sportsmanship, follow directions and as a result have fun. He modeled 3 classes for me and then it was my turn. I tried to use what I had learned, but it was harder than I thought.  I still sounded like a mom who was slightly exasperated.  It takes time to unlearn.

A couple of the genius techniques he used were 1. Rewarding good behavior with an opportunity to help. "I'm looking for students who have been listening, being good sports, etc. like squad 3, will you pick up the balls and put them in the yellow bins?" 2. Having cue words like "Red," That means stop, hold your balls, and sit down." 3.Solving disagreements with "Rock, paper, scissors, shoot." 4. Taking time to talk about strategy, (students share- he shares) sportsmanship, "Do we get mad if we lose? Do we brag if we win?" and honesty. And his games were fun.

Of course, where there are kids, there are humorous situations. We played a game where defenders were needed to protect the pigs from being trapped (knocked over by balls). In PE there is always great music playing. The valiant defenders took their positions, but one girl just couldn't resist the beat. She was dancing away. She had great moves and she managed to keep her pig from being trapped. I was impressed. On the other side of the gym there were 2 girls who had picked up the pigs that had been knocked down and were playing with them like Barbies. I guess we all have different levels of interest in sports.

The younger the students, the harder it is for them to understand the rules.  I was in charge of the 1st grade class. I explained the rules and then sent them out to play the game, They were running here and there and across the gym. The rules said, "Go right one hoop if you win the dice throw, and go left 1 hoop if you lose. I reminded them to just move one hoop. There was no change. Oh well, it's PE right? The more moving the better. My first graders also earned surprisingly more points than the other classes. They had kept their own scores. I'm sure it's just because they were running so much faster.

The last class of the day was Kindergarten. There was a lot of "Please don't touch the net. Don't touch the net, Please don't touch the net." One little girl needed to touch the net so bad she walked under it and wrapped it around her face. I went to tell her not to touch the net and found that she had gotten stuck. Her ponytail was stuck in one place, her bracelet in the other. Poor little thing. I wonder if she'll still want to touch the net.

One other new experience I had was cafeteria duty. Lets just say I don't view the elementary lunchroom as a healthy place.  Is it safe to be in a place that loud for 30 minutes? Just asking.

And then I went home, thankful for another chance to learn.

Tales from the subbing front

A few months ago I went through the traumatic process of becoming a substitute teacher. (Drama alert) I mean, I had to fill out all these documents and order transcripts and come to terms with the fact that my college GPA was nothing to brag about. Then I had to get references by supervisors (do they mean children?) And  because my chosen career has been stay-at-home, I always feel a little misrepresented as I report my most recent employment as working in the BYU admissions office in 1980. It's not that I haven't been busy these past 35 years. I just haven't been compensated in cash. It's been more of an eternal reward.  After a few glitches, including having fingerprints that were too light to generate a computer background check, I was finally brought on board.

I was open to advice and suggestions in preparing for my first gig.  From other teachers I heard "Be friendly but firm," "Learn the names of the tricky students," "Walk around and let them know you're watching them." "Greet students at the door," "Don't ruin their day, let them feel loved." From kids I was told, "The sub is the Grandma, the teacher is the parent. Be nice." "Don't talk to them when they're trying to get their work done." "Don't try to make them work when they're supposed to watch a movie," and this great tip from Gabe,"Don't pass out the papers wrong. That's so annoying."

Luckily, I didn't have time to worry about my first job. After seminary, my friend walked in and said, "I'm going to call and see if subfinder needs anyone." I quickly added, "Ask for me too."  There were 3 jobs available. My friend hooked me up with the easiest one since it was my first day, and I was off. It was such a gentle beginning. I filled in for a teacher who was filling in for someone next door. I had a helper in the room. It was special ed so there were never more than 5 students. And I got to eat lunch with a little guy who's Grandma goes to my church. He smiled and his eyes twinkled and we sang together. Just a bit of heaven in the middle of the day.

The next day was more challenging. I signed up to fill in for a high school English teacher. As I drove up to the school I wondered, frankly, "What I was thinking?" You know how terrifying it is to go to a place you've never been before. Where do I park, heck, where's the front door? I took a big risk and parked in stall 120 (I hope it didn't belong to someone,) went to what looked like the door and read the "Doors locked" signs, walked a long ways away in the frigid GA morning air, (I'll bet it was 50 degrees that morning,) and was saved by a passing teacher who let me in an illegal entrance and walked me to the right place. I awkwardly signed in on the computer (Every computer is different so it always starts with me looking like I've never touched a mouse before,) and reported to the registrar. I thought I was asking good questions, but she told me to read the folder. No, you do not send attendance to the office after 1st period. I grabbed my folder and started heading "past the cafeteria then right and up the stairs." What stairs? Heavenly Father is kind and a boy from church walked by at that moment. I asked him where the stairs were, and he set me straight.

I walked into AP English and saw right away that this was a cool teacher. She had music playing and she was bantering cheerfully with her students. They saw the sub and realized their day wasn't going to be as great as they thought. The teacher gave me good instructions and plans and then she was off. I used my friendly but firm voice to direct the students, and then I quit talking so they could work. As they finished their work they pulled out their cell phones.  I actually can't stand cell phones in the classroom, but knew this was a technology school so put my Grandma hat on and didn't say a word.  When they started their next assignment I took time to read my folder.The last page said, "No technology used with substitutes." Oh well, better luck next time.

My next hour was helping out with the band. I love music so was looking forward to this. I was the assistant sub, so I figured my job was to watch the percussionists and make sure they weren't having too much fun. It gave me a chance to observe the experienced sub at work. She yelled a lot, Not in an angry way, more like a coach or a PE teacher or band director.  It didn't seem out of place but didn't feel very grandmotherly.

Back to English in the computer lab. I had written their assignment on the board. A student asked if he could use his phone to take a picture of the board. Asking to use the phone is a good thing. That means he knows he isn't supposed to. I said, "Yes." I walked up and down the aisles remembering what high school was like. There was the pretty nice girl, the pretty sassy girl,the smart talkative boy, the super smart quiet boy, the new girl, and since I'm an adult I knew that they all wanted the same things, understanding, love, success, and to get through the day without a grumpy teacher making it hard.  I tried to do my part.

And then I went home and laid on the couch to get enough strength to be the parent.