Life is like a fire.

Nothing helps a person get around to doing a job like the newspaper announcing it will be illegal on May 1. In my mind, burning yard waste is men's work, but I don't know if my men are inclined to share my goals in the next 8 days. Since I had just spent the morning at a group service project feeding a fire a couple of weeks ago, I felt confident that I could tackle the task myself.

 I gathered my supplies and realized that although I had been associated with countless fires, I could not remember ever completing the process all by myself. Well, there's a first time for everything right? I had listened to the fire department's message for yard burning so I was ready to roll. And as I rolled I mused, because as countless songs and poems attest, life is like a fire:

1. Life is like a 4 year old box of strike-anywhere kitchen matches. It can be harder than it looks. I remember the TV commercials that showed children playing with a match, lighting it, tossing it on the ground and starting the whole forest burning.  Not to disrespect the danger of  forest fires, but what the heck? Fifteen matches later, I got 4 to light and two to start a flame serious enough to make a contribution.

2. Life is like a dry pine cone. Sometimes we think something just looks pretty and then we discover that it also burns like nobody's business...like it has practical value too.

3. Life is like a dry juniper branch. Those little prickles act all big and bad, sparking and burning and raining down fire, and then they don't.

4. Life is like wind. Too much can blow out your flame but just the right amount makes the flame grow, unless it blows the sparks out of the ring then I guess that would be too much.

4. Life is like a missing brick in your fire ring. It doesn't seem like a barrier is a big deal until the fire sneaks out of the ring and starts devouring  nearby dead leaves and pine needles. Fix the holes.

5. Life is like a stick that is too long. Burning inside the boundaries-good. Burning outside the boundaries-bad.

6. Life is like a wood pile, if you're careful and keep an eye out and pray, you probably won't get bitten by a copperhead snake. (I didn't even see one. I'm just always afraid that I will.)

7. Life is like smoke. Smoke stinks and if you're in it you'll stink too, even if you think you don't.

8. Life is like burning while your neighbors are at work. Do your annoying stuff while everyone's gone, then they'll still smile and wave when they drive by.

9. Life is like gloves. You think you don't need them, you think you'll be fine, but protecting the only body you have is always a good idea. Brush piles have surprises.

10. Life is like a bucket of water. "Man is the only creature that dares to light a fire and live with it. The reason? Because he alone has learned to put it out." Henry Jackson Vandyke, Jr.

"To poke a wood fire is more solid enjoyment than almost anything else in the world." Charles Dudley Warner

Easter 2014-Celebrating hope

This winter seemed particularly long and cold, and I know I didn't feel the worst of it living down here in the south.  My Minnesota friends are saying, "I"ll show you long and cold." It's an interesting phenomenon, winter. There were actually gray lifeless days, not a few, that I honestly didn't believe I'd ever see green grass again. How could I have thought that? Haven't I lived through 50+ winters and hasn't every one of them given way to spring? The evidence is there and yet it takes a certain amount of faith to hope for a bright future.

This year, just like last, spring came. And it came gloriously. Once again, I'm ashamed that I doubted, for I know God keeps his promises.

When I was a little girl my Dad used to dabble in chicken incubating and hatching. His first incubator was homemade. I remember the image of an Aztec chicken hand-carved into the wooden side and the sliding glass front that allowed us to reach in and turn the egg.  A light was rigged to hang from the top and give warmth. It was a fascinating process. We waited and waited until we thought things would never change and then finally we would hear a peck, peck, pecking. The little chick would chip away at the eggshell until it was free, a damp awkward looking little thing. A short while later, there it stood, cheeping victoriously in its fluffy yellow cuteness.

That's the way it is with miracles, we usually have to wait, we always have to hope, change is coming.

So on this Easter Sunday, we celebrate Christ's greatest miracles. "And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people. And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death with bring his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities." Alma 7:11-12

Just like winter always gives way to spring, because of Jesus Christ's resurrection, physical death will always give way to immortality. That is God's promise, there is every reason to hope and no good reason to doubt. The other part of Jesus Christ's miracle is that because he took upon himself our sins, we can repent and be clean and change.

I sometime struggle with this truth because waiting is hard, but there's always reason to hope. On my own journey to change there have been times when I've felt I would never overcome my weaknesses. How many tomorrows do I have to go through to see results? When I'm honest, however, I can see there have been some sad choices that I have instantly repented of that aren't a part of me at all now, and other weaknesses that I am still chipping away at. In some areas I'm a fluffy yellow chick. In other desired attributes, I'm a damp awkward thing. But the miracle of Easter is hope- hope for life, not just to live again, but to live with God again through the atoning Sacrifice of our Savior Jesus Christ. Through our faith on His name and our discipleship we become clean because "no unclean thing can dwell with God." 1 Ne 10:21

"For it is by faith that miracles are wrought; ...For no man can be saved, according to the words of Christ, save they shall have faith in his name...How is it that ye can attain unto faith, save ye shall have hope? And what is it that ye shall hope for? Behold I say unto you that ye shall have hope through the atonement of Christ and the power of his resurrection, to be raised unto life eternal, and this because of your faith in him according to the promise." Mor 7:37-41

In the words of Thomas S. Monson, "Our future's as bright as our faith" and there is every reason to hope. The evidence is all around us.

Another wild and crazy spring break.

While other families head to the beaches of FL, GA and SC, the Stokers prepare for a traditional spring break of going nowhere. We did go to FL one year, but noticed that everyone else from our state had the same idea, so we stopped trying to compete for sand space. But as the vacation time approaches I begin to feel pressure to come up with a wowie plan to answer the question...you know the one..."Where are you going for spring break?" I ran some ideas by my kids to which they replied, "Do we have to drive? We don't want to drive.  We've already been there. Does that sound fun to you?" Gabe said he'd go somewhere if we could see family, who all live far away or are busy, so here we sit and everyone seems strangely satisfied to do so.

We kicked off our week with General Conference. We watched at church, our house and our friends'  house. Everyone just sat quietly and listened, no gimmicks, no bribes, no threats, no million snacks and games. Is it weird that this made me feel a little sad? A thousand young mothers are out there saying, "How about you watch with my 6, 4, and 2 yr. olds and I'll watch with your 14 and 16 yr. old." Anyway, it was a powerful conference and I'm motivated to be a braver, kinder and better person.

Next on tap was yard work. Nothing says spring like planting. I don't know how the "break" fits in there, but I always figure one enjoys their free time more if one works first. My two kids are great little workers and we actually had a pleasant morning in the yard. And look at these happy flowers, not to mention the tomatoes to feed the deer and the banana peppers to make me feel good about my vegetable garden.

Oh, and my peas are coming up. Yay!

Another important element to a fun Stoker Spring Break is having a clean room. Well, maybe it's mostly for a fun Stoker Mom spring break, but having a clean room once or twice a year won't kill a person.

Gabe's week contained some mandatory activities: dentist appointment, haircut, instrument practice and reading to meet that GA state 25 book requirement. He tried to sell me on less reading and more video games by telling me that reading was a waste of time and education wasn't that important. Maybe we can work on his sales technique next spring break. Bless his heart.

Rebecca helped with the food at the missionary zone conference, worked on her mask of Apollo for school, went teaching with the missionaries and prepared a talk for church this Sunday.

 Don't feel sorry for her though, she got to play with friends too, and she actually said teaching with the missionaries was a highlight.

4-square and chalk art

The highlight of spring break for Gabe was his "Lord of the Rings" marathon. I joined him on the last 30 minutes of the last movie. That's all I can take. So much pain and suffering for years and years with no resolve. Just give me that happy ending. But it's been fun to talk about the sacrifices and gifts of each character and what we can do in life. Wasn't Sam as crucial as Aragorn? A couple of questions Gabe would like answered are, "Why is Gollum so creepy, and did Sam know that girl well enough to marry her?

There were a couple of highlights for me, four-square and basketball with the kids on the driveway, and I do love me some Dancing with the Stars video clips. I'm following the Christian mom and para-olympic snowboarder closely. I may or may not have stalked Derek Hough on Youtube. I also watched "Hello Dolly" all the way through for the first time. It had all the elements of a great musical; lame plot and really good song and dance numbers. We ate pizza, and I made magic bars (which I ate) and did a few other things to make it feel like a party. But I noticed that indulgence didn't give me the happiness that I like to feel. I was surprised at what did. On Friday Gabe and I were out and about. I came to an intersection a ways out of town and a woman stopped and rolled down her window.  She was looking for the hospital. I gave her directions. She asked me if I was heading that way. I said, "No," and then I realized that I easily could, so I told her to follow me. After we arrived, I turned to wave goodbye. She rolled down her window and gave me a warm smile and the sincerest thanks. Then she said, "God bless you," and I really felt that He had.

So it sounds like I don't know how to have fun, but the truth is, being helpful is the most fun of all. So this morning I got Gabe up, and because I love him and wanted him to have a fun spring break, we went to this cute little historical church and cemetery which dates back to 1825.  We took rakes and loppers and helped the members of the "Hopeful Church Community Center" cut and burn brush that had been cleared. Judy told Gabe how strong he was, and when he saw a lady working alone because her partner had left, he took his trimmers and went and cut brush from her pile so she could put it on her fire. They gave us water and cupcakes and said, "It's fun to see who God sends to help us." What's not fun about that? And now Gabe's playing video games and Rebecca is at a birthday party and I'm playing on the computer. Good times were had by all.

I have all that I need.

Caroline,  her son,-Hans Peter Miller, ?, ?

You know, it's true what they say about family history.  Reading stories of ancestors and their struggle to overcome obstacles and work through hardship gives me strength and a feeling of belonging to something important.

Family Tree has a fun new feature. Portrait view allows me to see my pedigree chart with pictures of each ancestor. It's like facebook for those who have gone ahead.  Thanks to relatives that I don't know, there are more and more pictures and stories of family to love.

Lately I've been getting to know my great-great-grandmother on my Dad's side. She's teaching me some some needed lessons. I love books. Reading on an electronic device has it's benefits, but it's never quite like turning pages, and seeing the end of the story growing closer as the space between the torn off scrap of paper-bookmark and the end of the book grows smaller. So I smiled when I read that she told her children, "Wash your hands.  Dirty books are not inviting." I'm also learning that courage isn't just one act of bravery, sometimes it's living a life that shows your faith every day.

Caroline Margaret Larsen was born in Bornhom Denmark where she was raised in a Lutheran home.  When she was 11 she began learning about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints from some missionaries. One year later, with the permission of her parents, she was baptized. Her Lutheran Minister was concerned for her and offered to bring Caroline into his home to receive a proper education. Caroline refused and from that time on was treated with enmity by former acquaintances and friends. She wanted to emigrate to America and so began to save for her passage.  Little Caroline worked at a country estate for 35.00 a year for 10 years. She milked cows, strained the milk into crocks and churned butter. She washed clothes by rubbing them together with her hands or beating them with a stick. She ironed and scrubbed the stone floors. In the fall she helped prepare the meat by salting it and placing it in brine. The lady of the estate taught her to spin and weave and sew. Because of this Caroline could make clothing from raw material to the finished garment.  All these years of hard work prepared her perfectly for the next chapter in her life as a pioneer woman.

I think about my life compared to Caroline's. My first question is, what raw materials would I begin with to make clothing? I've seen cotton, but wouldn't know flax if I saw it at a wedding on Pinterest.  Should I learn to weave? Is there a weaving school in Fayetteville? What if the hard times come? Well, I've decided that I have enough clothes in my closet to wear to the end of my life, thanks to Target clearance and Ross, so I may not need to spin and weave. Unfortunately, I don't have a cow, so if there's no grocery store, there's no milk for the Stokers. As far as meat is concerned, there are plenty of deer to go around in the neighborhood.  I don't think we can shoot them, though (there's an HOA), but I could lure one into the garage with a garden tomato and then, well, never mind.  We might need to grow garbanzo beans for our protein. Anyway...

Caroline sailed to America on the Franklin.  Before she left she insisted that her mother keep the gold earrings her mother had given to her in case of financial hardship. That was a fortuitous gesture as her mother and brother were baptized into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints the next year and were able to finance the voyage to America with the earrings.

On Caroline's voyage she met Hans Peter Moller also emigrating to America with his new found faith.  They went sight seeing upon arriving in New York City then rode the train together to Omaha, NE where they were married. They then they joined a wagon train heading to Salt Lake.

The story goes on with the Moller/Millers settling in Richfield, UT. Their first home was a dugout with dirt walls and floor, a canvas door and willlow roof covered in soil. It is at this point in the story that I realize, I really need to complain less.  What convenience has been spared me? I have running water-hot and cold. Sometimes it takes a while for my hot water to get warm and then I start to whine. Why don't I try bringing water from the river and heating it over an open fire? Sheesh. I take my boneless skinless chicken breasts, throw them in the oven with a potato or two that I bought from Publix, steam any vegetable I want, any season, any time, cut up strawberries from Florida and grapes from Chile and complain about slaving to feed my family.

The point in Caroline's story that will stay with me forever is what I read about her needles. She only owned two needles which she used to clothe her family and keep them warm with quilts.  She didn't want to lose them so she stuck them high on a wall.  Once, she lost one  and spent a considerable amount of time looking for it until it was found.  She related to a daughter, " I couldn't just go buy a paper of needles any time I wanted."

Okay, let's talk about excess and thrift. What kind of steward am I? I buy boxes of pencils and pens for the family.  Every time one is misplaced (as in rolls under another piece of paper so we can't see it) we grab a new one.  At moving time I usually discover a bucket full of writing implements that could help educate a whole grade level. That's just a start. But I want to be like Caroline and appreciate and care for what I have without always wanting more. What I have is enough. I have a feeling we are given conveniences to free our time so we can be working on things meaningful and eternal.  Is that what I do with my time, or do I use it to buy more stuff to lose and take care of and be distracted by?

So I have put two needles high up on the wall, because I want to remember, I have been given much and it is enough.

Happy Birthday beautiful Mother

Happy Birthday Mom: I love that your birthday is in spring and we can talk about flowers during our birthday call.  I'm happy that you have pansies in OR.  I have pansies in GA.  I planted some encore azaleas today.  You will love them.  They bloom on your birthday.  These bloom in 2 colors, light pink and dark pink. I know you like pink and beautiful things. I hope you can see them someday.

 I'm proud to be your daughter.  When we were talking on the phone the other day you told me a little about your mission.  You said that you and Dad and some other people were teaching a new friend and her friend about Jesus Christ.  You compassionately related her story and how she has been homeless and through tough times. When you told me that sitting around the coffee table in humble surroundings talking about God was  more fun than any party you've been to.  Then you said that you would like to be on a mission your whole life.

That made me feel very grateful. I was raised by a woman who loves God's children, and who understands "Bear one another's burdens," and who has dedicated her life to serving him. If I ever wondered if Jesus was the Christ I know I could look to you to testify that he is.  But I don't wonder, because you have been teaching me since I was a little girl.  Now I'm a big girl and the faith that you planted has grown big too. Because you loved your children, I have children that  I love. And I'm happy. Because you taught me where true happiness comes from.

I love you. Have a birthday that's wonderful just like you. xoxoxox