Coming Home is one of life's best moments. I believe it will be one of the next life's best moments also. So this blog is dedicated to what I view as the best moments of life.
And it's a good thing I love weddings because I have 2 happening within the next 3 weeks. I am blessed beyond measure as my children have chosen some fantastic people to love forever. And understand that when I say I'm feeling a bit, umm, short of breath, it's not that I don't recognize these events as wonderful, it's just that I'm a bit of a freaker outer. I definitely should not be the main whiner here because I am the mother of the grooms and have really done nothing, and the mother of the brides have done everything. I just like to worry. I like to play the what ifs through my mind until they interrupt my sleep with "The ties are too short!, I'm lost and it's past time to be there and I keep driving around and around and around, the caterer is not in Provo, UT, they're in Provo, NM!" nightmares.
This state of high alert has prompted me to share as I talk myself down and remind myself of what's real and what's important. No worries! There are details that will be forgotten, because it's me and my relatives and that's how we roll. We smile a lot, but details leak out of our brain like water. But the important things will happen beautifully, because it's about love and family and eternity, and angels always attend this combination.
The planning makes weddings beautiful, but the forgetting makes them fun to tell about, eventually. Like how I forgot to bring white shoes to my own wedding. What's not adorable about my brown leather sandals peeking out under my wedding dress on my special day?
And look at Brandon's sweet little bare ankles on his getaway. Clearly his mother's son.
When Eliza got married, Rebecca needed some hose to protect her from the winter chill. There was a wedding day morning Wal-Mart run, but the only size available was queensize. She's a queen, but not queensize so she had to spend the day hosily challenged, but she did it with a smile.
Here is a list I've made for myself that has evolved through experience. Don't ask questions. Just trust me.
1. Spend a lot of time thinking about shoes and socks. They aren't going to bring themselves.
2. Turn off your cell phone.
3. Know where your purse is at all times. Do not leave it 2 hrs. away at the last event.
4. Ask yourself, "Do I have everyone's pants?" If the answer is "no" plan enough time for a JCPenney run.
5. Think ahead like my daughter-in-law Erica. She had an emergency kit with Tylenol, needle and thread, granola bar, band-aid, safety pins, duct tape, (I added that in) just in case.
6. Don't miss the beauty of the day by stressing and obsessing. My hair stylist observed that at all the weddings she's been to have had that stressed-out mother/mother-in-law running around in perfectionist mode making sure no one has thread on their clothes, etc. That's totally me. But maybe this time it won't be. Maybe this time I'll just notice how beautiful everyone is and how happy I am to be with so many people I love, and think about how I'm the most blessed mother on earth to have such wonderful children and in-laws, because that's what I always think about when it's over. I just need to start a little earlier.
Daniel and Erica
A swing and children on a farm in IA. That's perfection.
The magical carriage rides.
You may not know this, but this Burlington, IA
not San Francisco. Tradition holds that the wedding
party drives down this Nobb Hill knockoff.
The shoe game. Very fun. You should play it.
So many people I love.
Brandon and Mallory
Sister hug.
The petal toss game
Nathan and Ariane
photo wars
Annabelle didn't want to get her fingers sticky,
but she did want some cake.
Eliza and Joseph
It means so much when friends travel
far to celebrate with us.
I love how Joseph's Grandparents are holding hands
coming out of the temple.
Life long friends
Joseph's family
Eliza doing a little wedding day worm.
This little girl taking a cue from the bride.
I can't wait to see what kind of wonderful these next weddings bring, if I can remember my shoes.
Well, it seems the Christmas season is upon us. I'm working through my usual Christmas issues that I've already blogged about in previous years- my stress with gifts, my not quite recovering from last year, (lets make that the last 25 years) my financial anxiety, my distaste for disappointment, and my basic aversion to a lot of work. Pair that with my love for family, the Savior, Christmas music and lights and you can see the conflict. It's actually business as usual in my brain as I strive to overcome the natural man and rise up a loving, kind, giving person. To get to that place I always need a little help and more often than not, it comes because God is good and he has some wonderful children on this earth.
In the Stoker house, Christmas comes as soon as the Thanksgiving dishes are done. It sneaks in with the viewing of "Miracle on 34th St." the darling Mara Wilson and dreamy Dillon McDermott version. This always melts my heart a bit and the descroogifying begins. Trimming the tree is the next step. This is where I always run into a little trouble as I remember that every ornament we put up needs to be taken down in January-the grayest of months. This attitude problem causes a little blip in my merriment and can be compounded if my lights don't work. Not to worry, however, they sell lights at stores. Another plus is that if the kids are happy, I'm happy. This year all were happy, not to mention co-operative and efficient. It was painless. In fact it was fun. I still felt myself holding back a little, it's as if I didn't want to jump all the way in to "Yuletide festive" because it may not be all the way safe there. But as we all know, if we don't give something our all, we don't receive all that something has to offer.
The night after the tree was ornamented, we loaded in the car and drove to the Gaddi family's community Christmas light display. I brought along my "Let's not kill ourselves when we celebrate this year" attitude. I had not been to Gaddi's before. They had killed themselves. I tried to calculate how long it had taken them to prepare for this holiday gift to the community. The displays were fantastic, just the ticket for getting in the Christmas spirit, and just the ticket for showing me that when you sacrifice for the good of others without any thought for yourself, Christmas comes. They had been doing this for many seasons. I'm sure they were a little tired of all the work it took to make every thing merry and bright, but they did it for me and my children and the hundreds of other Fayettevillers who drive through their property from Thanksgiving to Christmas. Oh yeah...gift of self...just like Jesus.
See? I knew this. I just needed a little help getting there. I remember now how thankful I am for the sacrifice of our Redeemer for all of God's children. And thank you, Mary, for bearing a son that was born to die. And I'll try to remember who's party this is anyway and not get grumpy or obsess about things, but try to give good gifts, from the heart, and I'll work on being free with myself and my substance but not walk faster than I have strength and leave some strength to enjoy time with the people I love. And if I forget, I'll just listen to wonderful souls who "get" the season, like my one friend who when I was thinking of ways to save my energy and get out of things said, "December is such a special month for me. I love everything about it." And I'll celebrate.
Merriest of Christmases to you all. May it be filled with beautiful music, wonderful people, lots of lights, good gifts and the Spirit of our Lord.
Well, another successful Thanksgiving week has come and gone. Some of the happiness was threatened at times, but awesomeness prevailed and we were indeed thankful. We had a good plan going into the holiday. Paul and I would fly to Charlotte on Sat. and visit Jacob and Alexa and her family for a bit and then come home where Daniel and Erica and boys would drive from Savannah, and Nathan and Ariane would drive
from Houston, and we would celebrate tremendously. Well, Thurs. Rebecca got slammed with something dreadful in the form of a rash, fever and sore throat--not strep, not flu, but something bad. We nixed the Charlotte trip, but hoped for the typical 3-day virus-life so we could carry on with our plan. Well, the illness held tight and Daniel and Erica had to abort the Atlanta Thanksgiving mission and go with a Savannah Thanksgiving mission.
I'll just have to deliver these surprises.
Readjust the picture. Thankfully Nathan and Ariane were determined to come ahead in spite of the danger. I believe their both being in health care gave them courage to take their chances against sickness. Then we had a happy turn of events, Andrew, upon realizing the absence of human life-forms in the Provo-Orem area over the holiday, decided he would try and travel standby on Thanksgiving week. It was a bold move, but he was victorious, and it was a joyful reunion when our friends, the Sultans, delivered him (and his Chik-fil-a) to our door. It felt great to have Andrew home again. His bed got slept in. The food got eaten and once again there were enough (if you can ever have enough) movie quotes at the table.
Wed. started with Ariane and Nathan up early for a brisk jog in the late November morning air. I was very proud of them. So, so proud, in a "keep up the good work", "don't expect me to join you" way. The only down side was that Nathan took his darn GPS and upon completion, confidently announced that my route that I claimed to be 3 miles is in actuality only 2.3 miles. Very disappointing, in fact I really want to un-know that information. I'll bet they took a short cut.
Next up on the schedule--Andrew de-no shave Novembering. That was a welcome activity. Andrew, I love you with or without nasty facial hair.
Andrew's birthday cookies
Beautiful
Then we made snowflakes. Miss Rebecca had been in bed for 6 days straight and we wanted to show her a little love. Poor baby girl, on Thurs. night she wistfully commented as she looked out her window, "My 6th sunset."
We made apple pie and then the well people headed to Urban Jungle for a combined church YM/Happy Birthday Andrew activity.
Our Thursday was like your Thursday, cooking and eating all the food we could think of. We had a lot to be thankful for. Rebecca came out of her room and played the piano and laughed and ate with us. We had loved ones in the kitchen and at the table, and Nathan taught Gabe how to do the Rubix cube.
There were definitely some highlights, like when Ariane made a perfect cheese ball. I exclaimed, "That looks like--" "Spherical?" "No, Nathan, like Hickory Farms."
Andrew got the job of carving the turkey. This being his first carving experience, he asked Nathan for guidance. Nathan was equally inexperienced but offered this wisdom, "Just cut it into the shapes you usually see at Thanksgiving."
Andrew actually did a great job. He's ready for life.
Then we wrote what we were thankful for with Sharpies on the table cloth and thanked our Heavenly Father for our bountiful blessings and ate.
The Thanksgiving Ping-pong tournament was next. There was mandatory participation for illness-free people. We put up a good fight, but Andrew proved to be the fairest ping-pong player of them all.
Then it was time for the traditional showing of "Miracle on 34th street." There was popcorn and hot-chocolate of course. We had a surprise visit from good friends that gave us even more to be thankful for so I guess we had the perfect day.
On Friday, if life wasn't awesome enough, these fantastic people got all the Christmas decorations out, the tree up, the irrelevant boxes put back and the ornaments ready to hang. It was a little sad when I presented Nathan with his box of childhood ornaments and he chose 2 to take with him through life and basically said, "Thanks for the memories" to the others. That just goes to show that it really is the memories that count. Andrew had an opposite experience, however, when one of his favorite ornaments was not in the box labelled, "Andrew." He wanted to know, "Is there a lost and found for ornaments? I'm missing Mickey with the bass drum." Sorry, Andrew, I'll keep my eye out. The tree looked great and we could tell it was Christmas because Manheim Steamroller was blasting in the season.
In the afternoon there was some excellent family bonding in the form of lids and basketball, tennis and frisbee. Rebecca and I skipped the bonding and went for rejuvenation by napping.
Then we all got the memo and put on our navy sweatshirts and celebrated with a 5 person selfie, (that takes some skill right there) Next, we headed out for a very Christmasy visit to the Gaddy light display. We finished the great day with great wassail and a great movie.
Saturday came and Andrew made his flight and checked the "travelled standby on Thanksgiving week without getting bumped off the flight" box. Nathan and Ariane adventured into the city (Atlanta) and visited the Temple, Piedmont park, the Capitol, Centennial Park and the Martin Luther King museum. When they returned home, we watched one more movie and then the party was over until next time. Thank you, sweet family, for making it great.
