Happy Father's Day, sons.

When my little boys were born I found it a bit challenging to choose a name for them. They were so tiny and soft and sweet. I wanted to name them, "Itty bitty snookems." It took faith and imagination to believe that they were going to be men and needed manly names. After realizing that, I chose Daniel, and Brandon, and Nathan, and Aaron, and Jacob, and Andrew, and Gabriel. As luck would have it the wittle cutie sweeties grew into strong men with the perfect names for them.

Their little chubby cheeks have given way to chiseled strong jaws. Their pipe cleaner arms are now muscular and their penchant for running crazy making sure they are having fun this minute has evolved into planning and preparing for the future.

This is a huge relief for a mother. I have spent some serious anxiety sessions worrying over who would marry a guy who didn't change his socks, or a guy who left bags of bagels (after seminary breakfast) to mold in the back of the car, or a guy who left every single possession in a trail like Hansel and Gretel, or a guy who wore the same shirt as often as he could, or a guy who didn't shower for days even though there was no shortage of sports in their life. But someone did marry them, not just any someone, some really fantastic someones.

The question, "What are you going to be when you grow up?" is very common. We ask it to start a conversation, but believe me, we're all concerned. It's cute when the kids are little and they say they're going to be an astronaut or a professional soccer player or a famous video game maker. But at some point it becomes, "No, seriously. How are you going to support your family?" But do you know what? It works out. These sweet little babies have gifts and desire and direction. Watching who they become when they grow up is actually very gratifying so look forward to it.

But the most enjoyable "Who they've become" game is watching them as fathers. These men who used to be boys have boys (and girl) of their own. They are looked up to, depended on and adored. They are leading their families in the directions they have chosen  to go. They are teaching their children about Star Wars, Legos, and more importantly, love and God. They are keeping them fed, clothed, housed, and safe. It's a grateful mother that watches her sons loving and being loved by a beautiful family. Happy Father's Day, Itty bitty cutie sweeties.

And this is my darling son-in-law who I wish I had known when he was an itty-bitty-cutie-sweetie, but at least I know him now. He takes wonderful care of my daughter and grandson and I'm very thankful to have him in our family.

And guess what else? Next Father's Day these sons will be fathers :) :) :) Happy Father's Day 2015!

So you have a little boy.

If you are the mother of a son or sons you are probably feeling very blessed, but maybe a little confused and slightly overwhelmed. Just like Dads need to use their imagination to understand their daughters, it may take a while to "get" the male brain-a while as in years and years-but here are some secrets to help you break the code.

1. Boys like explosions. Here are some examples of real life explosions. Brother sits behind sister in double stroller. He isn't even old enough to talk but reaches out and pulls her hair. She screams. He smiles. He reaches out and pulls her hair again. She screams...repeat. Mom wonders why little brother would be so mean. He is not mean. He's bored. Did you see that awesome sister explosion when her hair got pulled? Mission accomplished.  Little boy takes the cereal box and pours it all on the floor. Mom starts to yell and then catches herself to use her best parenting skills to talk about motives, consequences, etc. On the next day little boy pours the oil on the floor, similar scenario. Mom wonders, "Why does he keep doing this? We know why. Boys like explosions. They would rather knock the blocks down than build them, they would rather watch their siblings react than live in peaceful boredom, they would rather make a run for the front of the church and be chased by their parent than sit painfully on the pew.  There is no law more intriguing than cause and effect. That's why a little boy would turn on a resting cookie dough beater. Did you see that dough fling all over the kitchen? It was amazing, cleaning up not so much, but worth it. For mom, this knowledge may not make the explosions any more convenient, but it does make them funnier.

2. Boys like to be the hero. They have heroes-Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, Iron Man, Captain America, and Dad. They don't like to get bossed around because heroes don't get bossed around, but they don't mind saving the day. So I guess this translates into two actions. Present instructions as choices. "Will you please?" "Would you rather clean now and get done sooner or in 10 minutes when you've gone down the slide one more time?" And thank them for saving the day with appreciation for their muscles, speed, goodness, strength, intelligence, kindness, bravery. And don't worry, sometimes they have to get bossed around. We don't always get what we want. Even Luke Skywalker has rules.

Okay, Jack Sparrow may not be the most exemplary hero, but ya know.

3. Boys like to test their mettle. If Moms are setting boundaries keeping them safe, how can they tell if they're getting more manly? Mom says they can jump on the trampoline. Mom looks out the window. If the boys aren't doing flips they are trying to bounce each other off. Of course the next level is jumping off the deck to the trampoline. Mom might want to get this over with while she's around just in case someone needs to go to the hospital. Mom sends boys down to play in their room. Boys jump on the beds. That being mastered they pull the mattresses off and use them to catapult brothers to the other beds. Friends come over. Mom hears ricocheting in bedroom. Mom finds boys shooting airsoft guns in bedroom, always pushing, testing, risking, becoming stronger, faster, better, give or take some lost blood, brain cells, etc. I understand it's part of becoming a man, but it gives me a heart attack. Many times my final words were, "Okay, but don't come crying to me."

4. Boys don't really like to be teased.  This is so confusing because they spend a lot of time teasing, but teasing them usually brings out the fight. This goes back to them wanting to be the hero. The action is respect the male ego. It's alive and well.

5. Boys run around and yell, but they have a heart. This may be obvious to some, but all that wildness makes a mom forget that there's a little lovey guy inside. Don't forget to show them tenderness. That's what moms are for, to teach them to love, and boys do love their mommas.  So snuggle those little heroes-big and small-even if they try to run away.

And if you're lucky enough to have other children, you're in for a treat because brothers are awesome:

They hold you and keep you safe and call you cute.

They let you win if you need an ego boost and whip your
can if you need an ego bust.

They play hot lava and cowabunga and make sure life is great.

They threaten to keep the boys away until you find one they
want you to keep.

They read to you and always know the big words. They
are experts in dinosaurs, Lego, X-men, all the important stuff.

They make you look good at the talent show

With a brother you can move twice as much dirt.

They're your buddy...

for life...

And forever

They're always good for a hug, or a punch,
whichever you need most.

The more brothers you have, the more Lego ships there are at your house.

They keep their arm around you through thick and thin

And cheer you on while you climb.

They show you how to be strong and defeat the enemy when you need to.

And always make room for you.

They're the Woody to your Darth, the sheriff to your Sith, the "Reach for the sky" to your
 "Never underestimate the power of the dark side." They bring balance to the force.

They're your eternal fan club

They love you even if you cry.

They make sure there's enough Star Wars in your life.

They bring their game and make sure as heck fire you bring yours.

They fill the world with Lego and endless flying coolness.

You can count on them to add a twist to the traditions...(Hawaiian gingerbread man,
broken leg ginger bread man, vampire gingerbread man.) Christmas cookies, check.

They make sure someone is breathing out of a snorkel during the
card game because why wouldn't they be?

They set a good example

They share, and wear their superman cape because they can.

They make sure you know that there's someone bigger
than you so you'd better calm down.

They teach you about the awesomeness that
 is Harry Potter.

They drive through a dangerous snowstorm to attend your daughter's
baptism when even the locals didn't dare brave the roads, clinching
the title of "hero brother."

And then they grow up to be beautiful, brave, good men
that make their momma proud even though they still kind of like explosions.