It's December, but I'm still thankful.

So I have this person, who's close to me, who's pretty intelligent, who calls Thanksgiving, "The worst, dumbest, holiday ever." I guess in some ways it can seem like that if you consider the fact that we shop, clean, cook  and prepare for 3 days (6 if you count thawing the turkey) for a meal that's over in 1 hr. Not to mention that the meal contains 7 carb dishes to 1 protein dish covered with fat and followed by sugar. (This would probably be a good time to mention that the "worst, dumbest" opinion belongs to a paleo eater.) But the meal is only a decoy to get us to stop and plan and make the effort to gather and share with people we love. Considering how early Christmasing is thrust upon us, I like to think of Thanksgiving as a happy speed bump. Sure, I shop a bit and listen to a little Christmas music and start to rev up for Christmas magic making in November, but then my friend, Thanksgiving, reminds me that before I start the frenzy, I need to stop and give thanks and sit long around a table and play some board games and choose what kind of pie I would like to eat while I visit. And then I get back into the race and am pretty much full steam ahead as demonstrated by the fact that I forgot to blog about giving thanks.

I'm thankful that I am a mother and grandmother. Nothing is so hard. Nothing is so fun. Nothing makes me angrier. Nothing makes me laugh harder. Nothing breaks my heart or fills me with joy like being a mother. There's always a mommy thought swirling around my brain, and a part of me is in St. Louis, Portland, Augusta, Las Vegas, Sacramento, Omaha, Orem, Provo and Atlanta. Many of these excellent people have married even more excellent people and have born even more excellent people. It's a beautiful plan.

I'm thankful for a faithful and constant husband. He's been by my side for a long time. Although there's a little jostling in our equal yoke as we're both equally stubborn. It's a blessing to have a husband who loves steadily and provides generously and lives enthusiastically.

I'm thankful for the family I came from. The project that my parents embarked on when they got married was ambitious to say the least. To raise 10 children and live well through the challenges of life has been impressive. I am inspired by these good people.

And speaking of Thanksgiving dinner, maybe there's more to it than just tradition and calories. My turkey journey has been rocky, but in the years of taking it out of the freezer too late and not putting it in the oven early enough, I have developed humility. I have been forced to not walk my own know-it-all way. I have asked and watched and listened (eventually) and this year we had a pretty darn good turkey. Anita Stanley put out a reminder on facebook for me to start thawing the turkey. I decided not to leave anything up to chance and copied the Gills by cooking the turkey on Wed. and letting it sit in the juices overnight. I listened to Erica and made gravy out of juices and broth instead of bouillon. I used a cooking bag for baking. (I don't remember who taught me that) and just warmed the meat up in foil on Thanksgiving day.

The rolls teach us to be patient with growth. Given time we can rise to become more than we are, but we do our best growing in warm, sweet surroundings. When not given the time to develop, however, we can be hard and heavy.

Cranberries teach us to not give up. Maybe we don't like canned cranberry sauce. Let's try to make it from scratch. Or maybe cranberries are better in a jalapeno compote with cream cheese. Try cranberry fluff or bread, or punch, but don't quit cranberries.

A very important part of Thanksgiving is the people. If possible put different faces around the table, Otherwise how can you tell it's a holiday? It would just be dinner. I was thankful to have children and grandchildren and siblings and nieces around my table. I have my mom's silver that she put on layaway when she first got married. She told me to use it when her children came for dinner. This Thanksgiving was the first time I was able to use it, and I loved picturing my mother young, trying to make her home a special place.

When the dinner was over, Christmas was welcomed in. We happily revived the graham cracker gingerbread house tradition. Part of the tradition is trying to transport the precious houses without damage to structure or loss of candy home after the holiday. The next part of the tradition is listening to the children cry about damage to structure and loss of candy. And then we're thankful for our children's opportunity to learn to cope with loss.

Caden's first BD

I had a lovely November. I'm thankful for so many blessings, and now it's time to light the world in celebration of the birth our our Savior.

A quick visit with these cuties

Theo's blessing day

Caden

Fierce mom/basketball skills

Sharpies to write on the tablecloth what we're thankful for and my mom's silver

Good lookin' kitchen help

Lovely carbs and fat

Charlie's little cute girls

It's a holiday! We have loved ones around the table. Charlie, Nathan, Gabe, Paul, Ariane, Meg

Travelin' with the hubs

We're one of those families that rarely travels together. At our parenting prime, even if everyone went on the trip, we needed 2 vehicles to accommodate our blessings (children). We had Dad driving with the Harry Potter books on tape and Mom driving with the babies and anyone who lost the privilege of listening to Harry. As the grown-up children left home we began to all fit in the mini-van. But with the oldest kids and Dad busy with jobs, I would throw the babies in the car and head out on the road to visit loved ones.  We now have 1 child at home who could easily fit in our mid-size car, but he has school, band, doesn't like road trips, etc. It seems sad to leave him alone so I travel some weekends and Paul the others.

Last weekend brought a pretty major event to our schedule. Our nephew, Michael, was getting married. It was a must-attend shindig so Paul and I left Gabe to fend for himself. Actually we left him with good friends to be well cared for. While traveling with my sweetheart I learned a few things about myself, with ever more opportunities for refinement:

1.Two people can bring twice as much anxiety as one. Since that's way too much anxiety, I let my husband keep his while I attempted to lose mine. He got to be the one checking to make sure we were at the right gate, wondering if we would make the flight, getting a plan B if plan A didn't work. It must have been just the right amount of anxiety because we were successful in arriving at our beautiful destination of San Diego, CA.

2. There may actually be more than one way to live life and that might be okay. I spent hours finding the cheapest car rental. I was proud of the fact that my choice was 2 dollars less than anything available. We walked up to the counter, I confidently presented my reservation # that showed what a good consumer I am. Then my husband promptly upgraded to the tune of twice the amount. I seethed. I spent an hour reaching a place of forgiveness but not humility as I ruminated that I am so much more frugal, less extravagant, more practical, etc. And then when all was said and done and we turned the car in, a mistake had been made on their part and we got the upgraded car for 1/2 the amount--equaling my original price. Was someone trying to teach me to trust my husband and not be so prideful? Grudgingly noted.

3.I'm not the only person in the world. When I'm solo I always do what I want to do, unless I'm afraid which is bad or I want to help which is good. With a companion I have to think of others. I know, I know, that's one of the purposes of life. So off we went to the Midway aircraft carrier which was actually cool. It was made cooler by how enthusiastic my husband was about the experience. I usually just breeze by the displays, learning as little as possible and taking lots of pictures .But because I had a dear one with me I learned about navigating the carrier, landing a plane, taking off, and what wars were served by this particular carrier. Did you know that the target cable to catch with your tail hook is #2, not #1? And if the meatball is not centered you should be waved off. Everyone has made a mistake, but every time a mistake is made it is because of lack of discipline. Clearly, I need more discipline.

4. The list just goes on and on, so I'll stop with 3 things I learned and just tell about the beauties of the weekend.

We left the Midway feeling very hungry. Being in CA left us with a clear choice for lunch...In-N-Out hamburger, vanilla shake and fries. The weather was a cool 75 degrees with a slight ocean breeze. It was so perfect it almost brought a tear to my eye. To be loyal to my home state I will admit that Chick-Fil-A waffle fries are better than In-N-Out and Georgia is greener than California.

Then after a little navigation problem (it's not a true vacation if I don't spend a some time driving around lost) we found our hotel and with it our family. There's really nothing like traveling to an appointed spot on the earth and gathering with loved ones; babies that have grown like weeds, siblings who are beautiful even if none of us are twenty any more, nieces and nephews who have become the parents  Someone commented to the groom-to-be, "Your last day of freedom." As I thought of all the blessings that have come from being married I had to add, "You mean, let's get this party started."

That night was the rehearsal dinner where both families came together to meet and share our love of the couple. Everyone had traveled from another state, but we were thrilled for these young people and were happy to celebrate with them. All the new people I met were lovely. We shared advice and compliments for Michael and Kim and had such an enjoyable evening.

Stoker brothers

The beautiful couple

Stoker girls

The wedding was the next day, Saturday, but not until 2:30 pm. The groom's uncle came up with a fabulous idea. He invited us to join him in a cave kayaking tour in the ocean. He's a genius. We had time to kill and needed to stay out of trouble and who doesn't want an adventure? I was very thankful for his initiative. If I had thought of the idea, I would have talked myself out of it because of any number of anxious thoughts: "What if we get lost and we're late to the wedding?" "What if someone gets in an accident and we're late to the wedding?" "What if the tour goes too long and we're late to the wedding?" I'm thankful for level headed people who help me take calculated risks that make life so much better. And so, "Hello Pacific Ocean. It's been so long."

After kayaking we enjoyed a lovely lunch with Paul's sister and husband at a beachy little sandwich shop that sold European candy bars. I told my husband that I would have been a beach bum if I wasn't a mother of 9 children. My husband responded to my confession with a frightened look, but no worries. There's no beach and only a little bumming in our reality.

There were no accidents, no one got lost, and no one was late to the wedding, Well, no kayakers were late to the wedding. And it was beautiful. And thanks for getting married in the San Diego temple. I've always wanted to go there. The bride and groom were gorgeous and there was lots of love to go around.

A couple of hours later found us at the reception in another beautiful place. We ate hors d'oeuvres in the garden and dinner in the ballroom. It was dreamy actually.   I'm not one to take a picture of my food, but I just had to be that person.

And then we left to take our rental car back and find out that it wasn't more expensive after all and not be late for the flight that we didn't get on. Then Paul told me that he wasn't interested in being one of the sleepers at the airport and would definitely be getting a hotel for 4 hours. Because of his extravagance I got to sleep in a bed and feel very pious about the fact that I wouldn't have spent the money on the hotel but was just going along with my husband. We got to the airport bright and early and only didn't get on 1 more flight.

We came back to good friends who had cared for our son and who offered us dinner which we accepted gratefully, and a resolve to definitely make the effort to see our family more often. There's just nothing better. Thanks Michael and Kim for a lovely weekend.


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Pressed down, and shaken together, and running over.

 I've been in pretty close contact with my daughter this weekend. Apparently, after spending a fun-filled few days in the Chicago area with her husband interviewing and the family having a blast with our friends in Bourbonnais, their return plans hiccuped a bit. There they were, driving along hwy 80 in their faithful car that has about 1 million we're-going-to-visit-someone-we love miles when it broke. The blahdia-blah started more-mechanical-words and all they could do was take the exit that miraculously presented itself, blow through the as-luck-would-have-it empty intersection and coast around the World's Largest Truck Stop a few times until the car came to a stop. Not a fun situation to be in with a 3 yr. old and a 1 yr. old.  With this problem solving opportunity presenting itself my son-in-law visited with the people inside the truck stop of all truck stops. They recommended an honest and skilled local mechanic who would definitely be their guy except he was currently attending an event in Cedar Rapids and wasn't due back till the evening.

In the meantime, 3 yr. old had accidently dialed our friend in IL who had tried to return the call. While they were sitting in the parking lot considering options my son-in-law saw the call and, not realizing that 3 yr. old had initiated the correspondence, called our friend to see what he wanted. It was during this conversation, which not one of the adults would have thought to instigate, when our friend revealed that it was this exact spot in the middle of nowhere in the center of America where his family and his in-laws lived. In a very short time my daughter, her husband and children were picked up and welcomed into a warm home. Their certain afternoon fate of walking the gas station aisles, perusing the overpriced candy, cookies and chips,trying on camo hats, and choosing between Iowa key rings and magnets would, in actuality, be spent with friendly faces in an Iowa farmhouse.

Beloved stranded student family waited patiently since solutions to their plight really couldn't be decided until the condition of their car had been professionally diagnosed. Good guy car mechanic got held up in Cedar Rapids and couldn't help them on Saturday, but promised to put them at the top of the list and look at the car for sure on Sunday. This was a generous offer since I'm sure he would have liked a free day on his weekend. The afternoon hospitality stakes got a little higher, but the generous hosts offered not only a place to sleep but a car to use so my daughter and son-in-law and babies could attend church in the town nearby.

Unprepared for Sabbath on the road, my posterity attended church with the adults in jeans and children in pajamas. The church strangers welcomed them kindly. Upon learning the fate of my cute people, one new church friend offered to let them borrow his extra car and return it later when they picked up their car, if and when it was repaired. The benevolent hosts at the farmhouse had also offered the use of their second car while they were on vacation. When friends from home discovered my daughter's plight they called and said, "We're driving 4 hours to pick you up right now and you can use one of our cars." As a mother who was hearing the story unfold, but not in a position to offer much in the way of help, I was overwhelmed with love and gratitude to the kind people who took care of this little family. In the end, the awesome mechanic fixed the timing belt for a very reasonable price and declared their car to be in surprisingly good shape.

Today in seminary we studied Luke 6:38 "Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again." When I read the words "pressed down, shaken together, and running over I thought of the day I was getting a holiday package ready to send. I was so excited about giving the items, but they just didn't fit in the container so I pressed them down and shook them together to make all the surprises I wanted to give fit. Then I thought of all the tender mercies and kind offers given to my children in their time of need. God is kind and these people were kind and I know they will receive blessings for their giving; pressed down, shaken together and running over.

Happy Birthday to me 2016

This is gonna go down as one of the best birthdays of my life. I've shared in this blog about my birthday princess issues and how miserable they make me and the people who live with me. I think I've identified a solution. I just leave the home. 1. Birthdays are never going to be that big of a deal to the other people who live here. 2. It's practically impossible to meet my Birthday expectations if you are one of the people who live here. So these two opposing forces need some space, not forever, just until the danger has passed. As luck would have it, my nephew was having his mission farewell on one of my birthdays (the traditional date as opposed to the legal date) I also had some business in Provo so I went on a trip. I was focused on the planned activities and didn't even remember it was my birthday but was surrounded by loved ones who would surprise me with a birthday wish and I was filled with gratitude and happiness.

There was a little excitement on Friday morning when I didn't get on the first flight to SLC. I had given my son a ride to the airport for work where we parted ways, him to the gym and me to my gate. As he left I thought to myself, "I'll bet he's glad he doesn't have to worry about me anymore now that I'm in charge of my own travel" As I sat looking at the board realizing there were many people in front of me on the standby line and not many seats available, I contemplated my next course of action. At that very moment my phone rang. My son was still worried about me and my travel and helped me list on a flight to Phoenix barely within the time limit. I hurried to the gate (in Atlanta that means, took the train and walked a mile) and easily got a seat. To top it off, I easily got a seat to Salt Lake City from Phoenix. Thanks, son, Happy-day-before-my-birthday to me.

 Arriving late to Salt Lake City I rescheduled my appointments and went about solving my transportation problem. My daughter was free to pick me up from the airport at the original arrival time of 10:30 am, but had a class at the actual arrival time of 1:20 pm. I had taken the $35.00 shuttle before, but had not yet experienced the $6.00 Trax/Frontrunner option. It was a beautiful day and I had spent $20.00 on clothes the day before so chose to brave the Frontrunner. It actually was very easy and got me to Provo in about the same amount of time as waiting for the shuttle, and I visited with some very nice people on the way. Happy d-b-m-b again, not to mention that I was just so darn proud of myself for conquering my unknown public transportation fear.

My daughter did have time to pick me up from the Provo train station and it was lovely to see her. I then confiscated my car that she uses and tried to meet with one of the people I had postponed. That evening we had a really nice get together at my niece, Amy's, home. There were so many fantastic people there; Amy, Brandon, Josh, Emma, little Jack, Amanda, Ben, Trevor, Jack, Gwen, Rebecca, Megan, Mary, Kyle, Katelyn, and Mitchell.  I just love being with my family, The weird thing about it was I was so busy talking I didn't take one picture. I know that's not like me at all, but trust me, the night was fun. We jump roped and tap danced and sang and looked at baby clothes and ate cookies that were so rich that you could only eat 1/16th at a time even tho at first I thought Trevor was just being stingy ;) Then I went to see more people I love, John and Stephanie Stoker. My heart was bursting from family happiness and Happy-day-before-my-birthday celebration.

My legal birthday began with a morning at the Provo City temple with Mary, Megan, Amy and Kyle. There was almost a blip in my happiness when I couldn't find parking anywhere, anywhere and it was about time to start, but then I did, and my people had saved me a place and I was back in Happy legal Birthday business. I did remember to take pictures of this magical morning.

Then Megan and I went to delicious lunch at Joe Vera's. I've been thinking of the salsa for days. And  we got delicious fried ice cream because, you guessed it, Happy legal birthday to me.

Megan went with me to my appointment and then we rewarded ourselves with BYU creamery ice cream. May I recommend their lemon sherbet? And we slipped into the BYU bookstore for a little nostalgia and a couple of crucial purchases that may or may not have involved candy.

Then Megan headed north and I took a nap to prepare for an exciting evening of BYU Dance in Concert with more awesome people. Unfortunately, I do not have a picture of our cute cousin Gwen and her friend from Iowa.

And did I mention I got a legal birthday cookie from the Pita Stop because Rebecca had pocket points from the program that rewards college students for staying off their phones while at school? Best legal birthday ever.

My traditional birthday celebration started with a trip to Idaho Falls for Kyle's mission farewell which was the main event, but the Jones' are birthday champions and surprised me with the most delicious cake, a gift, a song, more nieces and nephews (Ashley, Erin, Jed and Matthew) and a perfect 20 minute party. What more could a girl ask for?

Then it was Kyle's time to shine. He gave a wonderful talk in church. He's such a solid guy. He'll make a great missionary in Tampico, Mexico. After church the family gathered and we ate tasty pulled pork sandwiches and savored the final times with Kyle . There were a lot of highlights that day, but my favorite moment was when we were driving away with Kyle's sister Katelyn. Traditionally the siblings run to the corner waving to the departing family member. This day was no exception. It was so darling to see the little sisters, but then when Kyle, the missionary, came running up the sidewalk in his shirt and tie waving for the last time for 2 years I was overcome with emotion and gratitude for the love in this good family. Then Rebecca and I drove home to UT with Katelyn, Mitchell, and Elliotte. When these lovelies began singing hymns in harmony I thought to myself, "Another birthday present.." My life is blessed.

I thought my adventure would end with my hopping on the red-eye to Atlanta, but apparently a Doterra convention wreaked some havoc on flying standby anywhere from Salt Lake City. But I had had such a fantastic weekend, I still felt happy.

Monday morning started the flying fun, but I knew life was going to be okay when a passenger who had been bumped the night before and given food vouchers bought an extra breakfast so as not to let the voucher go to waste. I was the beneficiary. Happy-day-after-my-birthday-to-me. At the 11:00 flight to Atlanta I was blessed, not to be a passenger, but to watch my son at work after spending a little time with him. And do you know what he did when we walked through the gate to the plane? He turned and waved to his mama. My heart melted, thanks for the beautiful after birthday gift.

 I was still having a good day, just not having any success getting home. It was getting to the point where I was calling for people to take my place in the spots I had previously thought for sure I would be standing on Monday and Tuesday. At 3:00 pm a flight opened up to Las Vegas. That may have been the wrong direction, but guess who I got to spend a little time with? Love these amazing people.

As far as I'm concerned that was just more Happy Birthday. And then I flew to Cincinnati and then Atlanta and after 3 days back at home I'm still the birthday girl. My husband just took me on a wonderful date to the Mexican Restaurant and the movie, "Sully." (an excellent choice)  So the princess lives, but there was no birthday tantrum. Here's to many more years of gratitude. I just hope there is another event for me to attend next year until the danger has passed.