The second 1/2 of I heart summer-July

July has a built-in firecracker start (get it?) 4th of July is just a great holiday.  The patriotism brings the emotion. Red, white and blue are snappy colors that don't get worn enough. And the city plans the party for me. All I have to do is provide the food. The secret that can't be underestimated, however, is that the celebration must be with loved ones. I guess that's the secret to every special day. I'm very thankful to Nathan and Ariane and Caden for driving the 3 hours to be with us. They were the highlight of the holiday.

The celebration of freedom began with a musical fireside at our church on Sunday night. Paul and I were singing in the choir. (The choir needs Paul and I need choir.) Gabe was part of the flag ceremony and played the snare on 2 of the songs. He came in strong.

Monday was the day Nathan was off of work, so Monday was the day we had our family celebration.

We can always use a little more music

Caden wasn't feeling great, but would rise to the occasion when he could.

Signs that a grandchild might be in the vicinity.

Ladder Ball-my first time playing

2 lovely people + one on the way

What Dad's do on 4th of July. The blow torch leaves no doubt.

Nice form,

Our family had to leave us, but Paul and Gabe were good Independence Day sports, and we went to the famous Peachtree City golf cart parade. It's a beautiful thing. Not too far away. Not too long. Not too crowded. We salute the flag, say "Hey" to the people we know, cheer the floats and then go home when we feel like it. Happy 4th of July, USA. Consider yourself celebrated.

The next amazing summer event was planned by my sister, Carrie. She texted us and said, "We're cleaning out Mom and Dad's house and having a yard sale. If you want to help, come to Manti, UT on July 13-15. I did want to help. I especially wanted to help Carrie and her husband Gabe because they know how to get things done.

I got on the plane and then the train and then my daughter's sweet roommate picked me up and took me to their apartment. It was so fun to meet one of  Rebecca's favorite people. That evening we attended to Provo City Center temple. It was wonderful being with those beautiful, kind girls.

I stayed with my brother-in-law and his family and then headed out to Manti. I remember driving to Manti from Provo to see my Grandparents when I was a little girl. The road was soooooooo long. When we finally saw this come into view we would jump for joy. Well, it was actually more like a small, car hop.The Manti temple beckons us from its place on the hill, not just to Grandma's and Grandpas', but to our real home in heaven.

When I arrived, of course everything was well in hand. Gabe was running the yard sale. He seems harmless, but somehow people walked away with many more purchases than they had planned. And they felt good about it. Those are skills, people. Carrie was cleaning like a mad woman. Megan and Travis and their kids came to work, so there was plenty of help to go around. And, bonus-I was with some of my favorite people. That's why I did more talking than working. Sorry not sorry.

Megan's Susie and Ivy, Megan, and Carrie

Megan's Eliza, Miller and husband Travis

Megan, me and Carrie

Gabe

On Friday night, there was a knock on the door and this sweet neighbor came by to say "Hello." In our conversation she mentioned that her husband's family had homesteaded my parent's place. This was meaningful because my Dad had painted a picture of this family and it seemed to just belong to the land. It didn't feel right taking it away. What would be the meaning of it in GA or any other state? I was happy to give it to her so it could be with the right people in the right place.

Saturday, Carrie and Gabe finished up and I drove over to visit my parents in Richfield. My mom took me for Chinese Food. I remember her taking me for Chinese food when I was a little girl. Mom always ordered root beer. 

Saturday night I drove back to Provo area and visited my sweet niece and her husband . She was courageously living in the hospital while her little momo twins were growing. They're here now. I'm so proud of her for living with faith, hope and courage.

I was also able to spend a bit of time with my sweet Lucy and Red. They and their beautiful mom, Clarissa, were staying with their other grandparents who are fantastic people, by the way.  They are now living altogether with their dad in North Carolina, (who stopped by my house on the way) and I hope to see them again very soon.

Sunday, I went to church with Miss Rebecca. I enjoyed listening to her teach Sunday school. I was then treated to an afternoon jam session with our family friend, McKay. All in all, a wonderful day. And then I got on the plane and then the car and drove home.

For years, my sister, Mary, has been inviting me to join her at BYU-I education week. This is something I've wanted to do since I went to BYU Provo ed week as a 17 yr. old. I hadn't been available till this year. Getting to Idaho Falls is tricky, but I decided to go for it. The weekend didn't disappoint. The classes were inspiring, the concerts-terrific, and the company heavenly. We got to visit with another darling niece and her baby and husband. I'm definitely looking forward to a repeat.

We had one last visit from Carrie and Gabe and kids, and I took one last trip up to Detroit and now the summer is over.

 

Looking over the Detroit River to Canada

Lake St. Claire

Hyrum's first time sliding the pole by himself.

But the fun is not. Jemma was born.

 And the eclipse is on Monday. Bring on the fall!

I heart summer-June

 I know I don't get out of school, or lay out in the sun, or even like to go swimming anymore, but I can't help but feel giddy and over the moon about the possibilities of summer. People asked what our plans were, and frankly we had none, but the months unfolded as a beautiful surprise.

 In June we got the Ericksons. They were between programs and we were the lucky ones they decided to camp with. This house I live in is deafeningly quiet most of the time. Gabe talks to himself if he can't get enough excitement from us, so the noise level def needed to raise. And raise it did. 3 yr. Hyrum and 1 yr. old Emmaline brought the fun and ramped up the excitement with their energy and amazing toddler thoughts and questions.

Lake Horton

This is what chatting with the 3 yr. old sounds like: "Do you ever say, "Especially?" "Do you ever wink with 1 eye?" Me-"2 eyes is a blink. 1 eye is a wink." Hyrum: "2 eyes is a blink and 1 eye is a...kink?" "One bowl for you and one for me. I'll take the pink one. No, you can use the pink one because we share everything." "I'm so happy that you're playing with me."

Making Stoker rolls with Grandpa

Their dad and mom were gone for a few days for a sibling couples reunion. That's when Grandma had to get a little more interesting. I enlisted my awesome cousin who took us for an adventure on her golf cart through the wilds of Peachtree City.

Feeding dog food to the snapping turtles. Thanks Kim!

It was fun to see the forgotten toys, perfectly shelved but lonely books and undiscovered treasures receive new life through the little creators that had entered our realm.

The tallest cup stack ever. amiright?

costume closet and stuffed animal basket accessed

Should I read or play with the dollhouse? I'll do both.

A perfect place for my hat.  Who needs this useless decoration>

Emmaline loves her care bear. Hyrum loves  his strawberry jam and pancakes.

As it should be.

Hyrum was sleeping in Becca's old room. Me: "Where did you get that bracelet?"
Hyrum: "In Becca's room. It's a watch. Becca is sharing with me."

Other parts of life were more exciting too. Family night definitely got a boost.

Look at that awesome family night group

The happiest event for me was when the manly men sanded and painted the deck. Woo hoo Joseph, Gabe and Hyrum.

The big June holiday that we always celebrate, of course, is Fruit Punch Day. 2017 didn't disappoint as we were honored with the presence of the Fruit Punch Day founder. To make it the holiday of holidays we went to the Atlanta Temple. Rebecca received her endowments. My brother, Charlie, Eliza and Joseph, Paul and I and our dear friend, Melinda Talley were in attendance. Melinda treated us to popsicles just in case we forgot it was fruit punch day. The temple part was wonderful, as usual, but a little warm since the electricity went out and the generators can't quite keep the rooms cool. But what price glory? It was a Fruit Punch Day to remember. Thanks to all who participated.

And as an added summer bonus. Gabe got his driver's license:)

So June pretty much rocked.

I'm pretty sure that if I worry enough my children will never fall short or be unhappy or make a wrong choice.

II"M PRETTY SURE THAT IF I WORRY ENOUGH MY CHILDREN WILL NEVER FALL SHORT OR BE UNHAPPY OR MAKE THE WRONG CHOICE.

I must believe this because why else would I continue to expend so much energy in areas I cannot control? Well, I try and control them, but more accurately, I have a certain amount of influence which should, under ideal circumstances, be diminishing since my children are mostly of the young adult variety.

                                                   What I think is happening:

What my children think is happening.  (Actually sometimes this happens)

What is really happening

I've tried to be brave and wear a casual front. I encourage trying new things and following dreams and inspiration. I want my children to be themselves and expect them to explore their unique gifts. I say, "Go have an adventure!" and I mean it. But my mind and heart are constantly thinking of them. I find myself trying to picture them in their spaces, hoping they're safe and content and kind and loved and honest and faithful. I have a life of my own. I sure do. I just haven't had my brain to myself for 36 years. That's fine except my brain space should represent my home space. 8 of my 9 children live outside my home, you'd think they'd be living outside my head also. A mother's love is a powerful tether.

About 20 years ago my 21- year- old brother and I were driving to the zoo in the neighboring city. He was driving my car so I could care for the children buckled into the back seats. I thought I was pretty relaxed, but then my brother asked me a question just as we were going around a ramped curve. I said, "Wait until we get past this part of the road." He laughed at me and asked if I thought it would make a difference in our safety if  I didn't stop the conversation to worry. I dismissed his ridiculous comment and assumption with a defensive statement, further proving how wrong he was. I have remembered that moment to this day. So now I admit, I do think my worrying improves everyone's safety. We didn't crash, by the way.

My worrying improves safety in the way I have chest pains when I wake up in the morning if someone I love is in spiritual, academic, social, emotional or physical peril. It improves safety in the way I ask stressful questions packed with fear to make sure everyone is on the same level of worry that I am. It improves safety in the way that my view of a hopeful and bright future is dimmed by my hyper-focus on the storm, trials and danger ahead. I guess this all adds up to my worrying improving safety not at all.

Yesterday when I was reading my scriptures I smiled as I read a familiar verse which stops me with its relevance every time. Jacob 4:18 ..."if I do not, by any means, get shaken from my firmness in the Spirit, and stumble because of my over anxiety for you." Apparently a person can be shaken from firmness in the Spirit if they are over anxious for people they care about. That doesn't sound very safe.

In church this past weekend, the teacher shared this quote that her mother had heard from Elder Robert C. Gay in Stake Conference in Tulsa, OK, "Your child has a Savior and it's not you." When I heard this I paused, and my heart began to expand and become free from it's tightly wound vigil. I not only can't save my children. I'm not supposed to. They have to choose. They have to learn. They have to turn to the One with power to save, lift, heal, magnify, and exalt.

I'm not supposed to be driving my older children's car on their life's journey. I'm not even riding in the back seat. I picture my job as standing on the side of the road with 2 signs, one with a heart so they know I love them, and one with an arrow pointing up.

My last child received his driver's license this summer.

We started the driver's education process with him studying the road rules and then taking the written test so he could procure his driver's permit. Then we had him drive slowly, very slowly around the parking lot. The next task was to drive from cul-de-saq to cul-de-saq in the neighborhood, once again very slowly. I educated him on staying in his lane and not hitting mailboxes and slowing for turns and preserving the lives of pedestrians. Next we went out on the open road with increased speed. He became the main driver to seminary, but I always backed the car out of our dangerous, slanted and curved driveway. It takes a miracle to avoid our menacing mailbox. He drove to Augusta on the GA interstate which was an exhausting and intense experience for all of us. He practiced parallel parking and backing into the parking lot and was finally ready for the driver's test. He is now a legal GA driver. But there was more for me to do. I had to actually get out of the car and trust him, even backing out of our driveway. So one night I told him to drive himself to the youth activity at church. I nonchalantly handed over the keys and said see you later. OK, I actually said, "Text me when you get there."  But, he got there and hit no mailboxes, because he is a capable, problem solving, teachable human. And when that's not enough, he is loved and watched over by heaven.

Trust is a Christ-like quality. He trusts us with agency and life and the ability to progress. As a mother my stewardship is to protect and love and educate and when the time is right, get out of the car. I can trust in the Savior and His plan and I can also trust my children to get to their final destination.They will probably scratch their car, have a flat tire, make a wrong turn, be lost for a while, maybe even totally wreck. But that's how we learn to drive. I gave them the best directions I could. I can worry if I want, but they won't be safer so I'll just drive my own car. They're in good hands.