Tales from the subbing front

A few months ago I went through the traumatic process of becoming a substitute teacher. (Drama alert) I mean, I had to fill out all these documents and order transcripts and come to terms with the fact that my college GPA was nothing to brag about. Then I had to get references by supervisors (do they mean children?) And  because my chosen career has been stay-at-home, I always feel a little misrepresented as I report my most recent employment as working in the BYU admissions office in 1980. It's not that I haven't been busy these past 35 years. I just haven't been compensated in cash. It's been more of an eternal reward.  After a few glitches, including having fingerprints that were too light to generate a computer background check, I was finally brought on board.

I was open to advice and suggestions in preparing for my first gig.  From other teachers I heard "Be friendly but firm," "Learn the names of the tricky students," "Walk around and let them know you're watching them." "Greet students at the door," "Don't ruin their day, let them feel loved." From kids I was told, "The sub is the Grandma, the teacher is the parent. Be nice." "Don't talk to them when they're trying to get their work done." "Don't try to make them work when they're supposed to watch a movie," and this great tip from Gabe,"Don't pass out the papers wrong. That's so annoying."

Luckily, I didn't have time to worry about my first job. After seminary, my friend walked in and said, "I'm going to call and see if subfinder needs anyone." I quickly added, "Ask for me too."  There were 3 jobs available. My friend hooked me up with the easiest one since it was my first day, and I was off. It was such a gentle beginning. I filled in for a teacher who was filling in for someone next door. I had a helper in the room. It was special ed so there were never more than 5 students. And I got to eat lunch with a little guy who's Grandma goes to my church. He smiled and his eyes twinkled and we sang together. Just a bit of heaven in the middle of the day.

The next day was more challenging. I signed up to fill in for a high school English teacher. As I drove up to the school I wondered, frankly, "What I was thinking?" You know how terrifying it is to go to a place you've never been before. Where do I park, heck, where's the front door? I took a big risk and parked in stall 120 (I hope it didn't belong to someone,) went to what looked like the door and read the "Doors locked" signs, walked a long ways away in the frigid GA morning air, (I'll bet it was 50 degrees that morning,) and was saved by a passing teacher who let me in an illegal entrance and walked me to the right place. I awkwardly signed in on the computer (Every computer is different so it always starts with me looking like I've never touched a mouse before,) and reported to the registrar. I thought I was asking good questions, but she told me to read the folder. No, you do not send attendance to the office after 1st period. I grabbed my folder and started heading "past the cafeteria then right and up the stairs." What stairs? Heavenly Father is kind and a boy from church walked by at that moment. I asked him where the stairs were, and he set me straight.

I walked into AP English and saw right away that this was a cool teacher. She had music playing and she was bantering cheerfully with her students. They saw the sub and realized their day wasn't going to be as great as they thought. The teacher gave me good instructions and plans and then she was off. I used my friendly but firm voice to direct the students, and then I quit talking so they could work. As they finished their work they pulled out their cell phones.  I actually can't stand cell phones in the classroom, but knew this was a technology school so put my Grandma hat on and didn't say a word.  When they started their next assignment I took time to read my folder.The last page said, "No technology used with substitutes." Oh well, better luck next time.

My next hour was helping out with the band. I love music so was looking forward to this. I was the assistant sub, so I figured my job was to watch the percussionists and make sure they weren't having too much fun. It gave me a chance to observe the experienced sub at work. She yelled a lot, Not in an angry way, more like a coach or a PE teacher or band director.  It didn't seem out of place but didn't feel very grandmotherly.

Back to English in the computer lab. I had written their assignment on the board. A student asked if he could use his phone to take a picture of the board. Asking to use the phone is a good thing. That means he knows he isn't supposed to. I said, "Yes." I walked up and down the aisles remembering what high school was like. There was the pretty nice girl, the pretty sassy girl,the smart talkative boy, the super smart quiet boy, the new girl, and since I'm an adult I knew that they all wanted the same things, understanding, love, success, and to get through the day without a grumpy teacher making it hard.  I tried to do my part.

And then I went home and laid on the couch to get enough strength to be the parent.

I'm thankful for January. No really, I am.

As we all know, Christmas is over and we're back to real life. Not just normal real life-- bitter cold, no more yuletide merriment, we're back in school, work, whatever it is that we normally do, real life. It's weird how I hesitate to enter the craziness that is Christmastime, but when it's over I return to the life I chose before with no less than weeping and wailing. It happens every year.

"I'll keep my normal schedule" I said. "I'll continue to go to bed early and awake early. It's healthier that way, " I said. But then a party lasted to midnight, and then all the parties lasted until midnight, and I opened my eyes at 5:45 am, but it was dark and quiet and I couldn't really think of why I would get up at that time so I didn't.  And it didn't happen again. In fact, my son called me last Saturday morning, confident that I would be awake at a leisurely 9:00.  When my husband handed me the phone, I couldn't, for the life of me, imagine who would need to talk to me in the middle of the night. Well, it was nice while it lasted.

Monday morning came in the form of barely conscious aliveness Walking through darkness and chill, I willed myself to smile with the hope of neutralizing any misery that could be accompanying my seminary students who also painfully pulled their selves from the warm, best part of Christmas vacation-sleeping in. We were tired and a little slow, but it was good to see these wonderful 9th graders again as we started semester 2 of our study of The Doctrine and Covenants.

I was pushing through my attitude problem day by day when the curriculum brought us to this fantastic Scripture Mastery scripture: D & C 78:19 "And he who receiveth all things with thankfulness, shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto him, even an hundred fold, yea, more." I don't claim to be a math whiz, but this sounds like a pretty good deal to me.  I like one hundred-fold return. One hundred is a big number. Since the Lord's promises are sure, our job is to be thankful in all things and the returns will take care of themselves. I haven't been very good at that previously, but this is a new year and I have hope that I can learn.

I asked the students to think of something they had complained about the day before and see why they could be thankful for it. I clarified that we are expected to get out of bad situations when we can, but consider what good can come from trials and opposition.  I started by using the low temperatures as an example.  I said, "There are no snakes when it's cold outside." An astute boy responded, "I would rather have snakes than cold." Fair enough. Keep trying. Then someone shared, "I'm thankful that even though the smoke alarm that wouldn't stop beeping was annoying, at least there wasn't really a fire." Closer. "My sister says rude things to me, but that gives me a chance to practice getting along with her." Sweet child. They really were quite good at being thankful in all things.

I then decided that I needed to practice the skill for myself. I find it easiest to replace the complaint with an unrelated gratitude and then return to being thankful for my trials. 1.My husband left the toilet seat up 3 times in one day. 2. I'm thankful that I have a husband that loves me and our children. 3. I'm thankful for the opportunity to notice that I need to scrub the toilet. So that's the skill I'm working to develop right now and I'm happier and hardly mad at all that it's January. I'll admit that I'm still living on peppermint M&Ms and Lindor truffles, but I'm confident that by the time my supplies run out and I'm deep into January eating (no sugar), I'll be so grateful that I won't even notice that I'm scraping my windows in the dark and the skin on my fingers is splitting and my face burns. At least my hair stays straight after I blow dry it.

Christmas Eve program 2014

Some of you know that the Christmas Eve Christmas Program is one of my favorite things in life. Presenting the 2014 Stoker Family program in all its glory.

See Aaron and Andrew HERE

 We have Clarissa Stoker's first performance HERE

We were fortunate to have some Miller add-ins

When I was a little girl, no Christmas program was complete without my parents singing "Winter Wonderland." This year is no different. This video is from a long time ago.

Stoker Christmas. You know how we do.

We start Christmas by filling up the house. We need lots of cars in the cul-de-saq and a constant game of musical cars in the driveway. Christmas is best if every bedroom is full and all the camping pads are used.  There shouldn't be any blankets left in the linen closet and the only towels in the bathroom closet should be beach towels.

The noise level should be a dull roar.We keep the washer and dryer running constantly to accompany the hum of the dishwasher. We like a lot of musical instruments and laughter and babies crying, and people jumping up to help the babies.  There should be a dancing time and a singing time and a "show me what you can do" time.

 If it's a good Christmas, mornings are for sports, as in volleyball, ultimate frisbee, Nerf guns or dodge ball. Afternoons are for sports like tennis, Bocce, 4-square and frisbee golf. Evenings are for board games and movies. There may be some running, Just Dance, or ab work.  There is also a considerable amount of sitting around talking, sitting around doing the Perplexes balls and sitting around sitting.

With lots of people comes lots of food preparation. We eat pizza, soup, chicken, Cafe Rio, pasta, rolls, 7-layer dip, crepes, eggs, cookies, candy and lots and lots and lots of popcorn. And we sweep and sweep and sweep the floor. And of course we wear costumes, because why wouldn't we?

Gathering:

Jacob and Alexa with new baby Isla

preparing our family night number

Landon and Alexa getting to know each other

Nathan and Ariane

Andrew trying to corral Hyrum

  And since we enjoyed our Whobilation so much 2 years ago, we added an "Elf party" to our 2014 schedule. Starting with a photo shoot, Paul's favorite. ("So, are we done?") We followed with Elfy nerf and decorating Elf cookies which of course are stars and gingerbread men. The grand finale was Elf minute-to-win-it. The competing teams were "The Winning Team," "Awesome Sauce," and "District 12" (as in the 12 days of Christmas not Hunger Games) with District 12 taking the victory.

You see the manliness, right?

The winner!

Add caption

"I no like the hat."

On Christmas Eve we celebrated in the traditional way; dinner, program and the Nativity presentation.

Narrator

Donkey

Mary and Joseph

shepherds

The angel Gabriel

Wise men

Wie men rejoicing

The entire cast

Christmas morning came at a leisurely pace.  Santa Jacob and Joseph had stuffed the stockings, but with no children between the ages of 1 and 14, we were lacking in the excitement department.  But we did honor the "Stay in your pajamas and take lots of pictures of your unshowered loved ones" tradition. Christmas night brought the pizza cook-off with the mushroom pizza (my idea) lagging behind the popularity of actually all the rest.

Hyrum's fist Christmas morning

Merry first Christmas baby Isla!

Perfect day for tennis

Gathering to skype with Brandon and his family

With Christmas over, we had to work hard to fight the let-down that always comes. Ariane and Nathan saved the day with their "Christmas Murder Mystery Dinner." It wasn't actually a murder mystery, more like a "Who's responsible for the important lost item?" activity with me turning out to be the guilty party.  That actually mirrors real life. At this very moment I'm looking for the decorations that I put in a special place to wait out the Christmas season. No surprise there. But the dinner was a blast, with beautifully organized activities, good food, more costumes (yay) and a great addition to the holiday merriment.

Santa preparing for the big Christmas  mystery dinner

Mrs. and Mr. Clause

The wrapping elf

QC elves and wonderful hosts

Ebbie Scrudge

More elves. I think they had a little crush on each other.

Our fashionista elf and her man

Children started to leave and took a little of our joy with them, but my brother cheered us up by bringing his family to visit and infuse a little fun into our party.

Charlie teaching us his 2 1/2 minute workout so we can look like him: 20 superman push-ups, 50 really fast crunches, 50 leg lifts, 15 hand stand push-ups and then your buff.

Brave little Maddie

Abbey

Pandemic

And just in case you didn't see enough baby pictures...