COMING HOME: New pencils and gleaming white socks.

My first day of kindergarten a long time ago.

Well, Monday was my, lets see..., approximately 41st first day of school. That, of course, depends on whether we count only fall semester or winter semester also in college. And you must know that I'm counting years as the mother of students. And can I say that the first day of school as a mother is possibly more terrifying than it was as a student.

After realizing how experienced I am in first-day of-schoolses I decided to make a few lists: Things that make me smile, things that make me cry, things that make me smile again.

Things that make me smile: New pencils, spiffy looking schools and classrooms, children in spankin' new clothes, socks so white they're gleaming, seeing the people you haven't seen all summer that you promised you'd hang out with but didn't, having a class with someone you wanted to get to know better, plaid skirts, football season, universal confusion that makes my confusion okay and even expected.

Things that make me cry: Going to Walmart for the 7th time because no matter how hard we try we can't get the supply list right; First-day-of-school-eve insomnia- I know even the teachers don't sleep well, but doesn't that make for a rather volatile situation? Music fees, locker fees, parking fees, testing fees- it's my responsibility to pay for these privileges, but somehow I don't anticipate the magnitude of my output in my August budget :( Filling out the "parent homework" and signing up for the campus-infinity-charms-this will be just the ticket if you can remember your password so you can find your way back to this site because if you don't you're a bad parent and your child will fail this class-websites; The fear in my children's eyes.

Things that make me smile again: We have had more than a few years when all my children have been in a new situation. They have survived and been strengthened by these times, but I sure love all the people who made their path easier. This year I have one senior who's never had it so good. It's his third year in the same school. He doesn't have one class where he knows no one. He's taking guitar. He parks in the senior parking lot. I just hope he has teachers who make him accountable. I wouldn't mind if his swagger looked a little more like a purposeful, arduous climb towards greater heights.

My little second-to-lasty started 9th grade. Not only is she new in high school, but her middle school population fed into 4 different high schools. There is lots of potential for meeting new people, but as a mother I really wanted her to have a friend here and there, you know, someone to eat lunch with. By the way, isn't that one of a mother's greatest fears? I probably should get over that. There are a lot worse things than eating lunch alone, like sitting at a table with a lot of friendly drug dealers or being in the hospital and not starting school at all...perspective, people. Anyway, I'm very thankful to her big brother's friends for saying, "Hey little freshman girl, would you like to sit here?" I'm also thankful for my daughter who told me cheerfully without any fear or concern, "I just looked around. There are lots of people to sit by." Thank you dear, for being way more grounded than I was when I was 14.

My baby started middle school. He went to "Meet the teacher" with his siblings because his mother (yours truly) was out of town. Honestly, they did an awesome job. His sister introduced him around to all the important people (teachers, principal, bus driver, office lady.) His big brother told him if any one gave him any trouble not to worry, he'd beat them up. (Then we wouldn't have any trouble at all :) Of course he couldn't get his locker open, but as luck would have it , it really was broken and he didn't have a locker for 3 days. This actually worked out great. He didn't have the stress of getting to class on time if he couldn't work the locker and he had all his stuff with him in his back pack. Then best of all, the vice principal gave him a free ticket for "Bronco ice" for his inconvenience. That's a treat that I would not have provided, so his life rocked. And his home room teacher smiles, a lot. And that makes all the difference.