Neonates-Is this normal? (Making the best of normal)

I got to meet this beautiful guy last week.  I was so thankful that he was here safe and sound and everything went well with his arrival.  Being a mother I know that although delivery is over, there are still lots of opportunities for refinement ahead, but I also know that mom and dad come through as beneficiaries in one of life's most treasured experiences.

Babies smell delicious, which we understand is nature's gift to mothers for taking care of them.  Their skin is so perfect and their little fingers and toes and lips and ears are irresistible.  There are a couple of parts to new babyness however that moms and dads find less than irresistible and leave them wondering, why didn't anyone tell me about this?  The truth is, everyone told them about it, it just wasn't very applicable BC. (before children)

So, if you brought home a baby in the last couple of weeks let me answer some questions, the most common being, "Is this normal?"

1. Yes it is normal for the baby to fall asleep whenever he is nursing and then wake-up when he is put in his bed.
 

In fact, babies hate beds.  They especially hate beds now that they have to sleep on their back.  Their startle reflexes are a big problem and those wee little eyes pop open a lot.  Swaddling helps.  It's a genius idea to simulate the comfy confines of the womb, but what babies really like is to sleep with a real-live parent who breathes slowly and has a nice continuous heartbeat.  So, from my experience especially in the first weeks, your choices are co-sleep or no-sleep.

Here is the nice new bed from Grandma E. with the cozy
sheet that Mama made, but the mattress is very flat and
it's lonely in there.  The comment was made,
'"Won't the baby be surprised when he finds out he has a bed?"

2.Yes, it's normal to change the baby's diaper a million times a day.  In fact, it's a consensus at the Erickson house that babies prefer pooping in clean diapers and will wait, if they can, until they're changed to move forward. I also think babies get tired of their outfits and will work to dampen them with their various artillery: urine, spit up, milk, whatever. But don't the tiny clothes look cute hanging all rinsed in the bathroom?  It was suggested that we decorate the house with this cuteness.  The truth? Mom's and Grandma's like new baby outfits too.

The downside, okay there are a few downsides, but the main downside to needing lots of diaper changes is the increased chance that sweet baby will contract diaper rash.  We did a little product study and believe that old-fashioned Desitin with the cod liver oil aroma beats new creamy Desitin and Butt Paste for eradicating redness.

It's helpful to maintain a diaper changing station or two where all necessary ingredients are at the ready
One might even be changing a baby in the dark and one musn't be lacking any vital supplies and remember
put the tape side under the baby and make sure there's a snug fit around the waist...trust me on this one.

Another question new parents might ask is, 3. "Do we need to purchase a Boppy? (Or as Andrew calls them, a Floppy.)  Of course you do.  A floppy provides multiple uses.  The baby can rest there (for a few minutes.)  Mom can sit on them (yes, postpartum sitting is problematic.) 

A floppy makes a nice decoration, provided it fits your color scheme.

Dad can use it to catch some much needed shut-eye.

And if worse comes to worse, Mom can wrap the Floppy around her waist on the same side her baby is nursing. This gives her arm a place to rest and she can keep the baby comfortably positioned with his head higher than his heart, bottom and legs.  Because think about it, who likes to drink milk upside down?

Here is another helpful idea, lots of stations.  Anywhere a mother might sit to nurse a baby should have water, lanolin, and a burp cloth.  And if no one is around to visit, I would add reading material.  Try and have something on the lighter side, physically and mentally.  A nice Reader's Digest, church magazine, etc.  Reward yourself. and make breastfeeding a treat.

This is the "Hope-springs-eternal" station.  It contains a blanket for swaddling, a
pacifier, and a bouncy chair for when baby gets tired of being held and needs some alone
time...bahahaha.

4."My baby seems to cry a lot."  This is normal. (at my house at least)  Babies cry.  Here is a list of possible reasons:  "I'm hungry, I'm tired, I need to burp, I just pooped, I can't poop, there's too much going on, there's not enough going on, Mommy ate something weird, I'm hot, I'm cold, I'm not really sure but it seems like a good idea."  Parents cannot ignore this heartbreaking sound so become clever scientists as they chart, record, theorize, experiment and use all their resources to make the love of their heart happy.  My advice? Don't take it personally, remember it doesn't usually last forever.  (Okay some of my children still cry.) My sister's advice? Ear plugs.

Next question, 5. "I'm not that excited to hear my baby's voice at 3:00 am.  Is this normal ?" CODE--Am I a bad mom?  Babies, and children for that matter, have not yet learned the art of playing hard-to-get.  While it might seem logical for them to give mom a chance to miss them, there's probably a greater plan in the works here. As moms and dads sacrifice their all in the care and feeding of their dear ones the relationship becomes more than a fleeting crush.  It develops into a deep and abiding love.  The kind that you would throw yourself in front of a speeding train to protect.  So, buckle up and get comfortable and put all that you own and ever hope to own on the altar.  You will be repaid 100 fold.

PS. My last bit of advice, some of which is a review, is since you're giving your all, make sure you have something to give.  Eat, sleep, shower, learn, laugh, dance, talk to adults (call your mom), exercise, pray, and most important, flirt with your spouse.  They're still your number 1.