Happy Birthday Mallory

My son, Brandon, met Mallory Dickson in an "Achieving Celestial Marriage" class at BYU.  Isn't that just the kind of story you want to tell your kids?  He was so impressed with her and was sold on her so quickly I hardly had time to facebook stalk her before they were engaged.  But when I did, this was her profile picture:

I thought she was a model, but found out later she was just having fun.

  Paul and I met Mallory at Brandon's graduation in April.  We thought she was great and we enjoyed our time together.  She sweetly confided a couple of years ago that it was not as relaxing for her.  We were eating lunch at a restaurant and her plastic fork broke.  She didn't want to appear high-maintenance so she finished her meal with her broken fork.  While we were waiting in the Marriott Center for convocation we were eating trail mix.  She doesn't like raisins, but wanted to be agreeable so she slipped them into her purse as she ate the peanuts.  Then to continue the awkwardness, we went to a show, and I suggested Ghost Rider because it was the PG-13 movie playing at the right time.  Well, it was not exactly the feel-good experience we were looking for.  There's not a more easy-to-get along with, comfortable person on the planet than Mallory, but those stories are fun to tell and retell.

Mallory took a chance on Brandon.  He had no money and no job, just a Bachelors degree, his dreams and love.  But their marriage was the start of something big.  

They lived in Provo, UT for awhile.  Mallory continued her education and had a sweet baby girl, Annabelle. Then they took their loving show on the road to Iowa City which is not close to her home of Seattle.  She graduated in Math Education and then concentrated on being a very excellent mother. 

Mallory teaching Annabelle about the camera so she wouldn't be afraid
when Grandma took a picture.

 I have always been amazed at her mothering skills. For one thing, she totally knows how to swaddle babies.  This is an important sleep aid that was missing in my mother-of-babies years.  I watched her carefully so I can get the right baby-in-a-taco wrap for any babies in my care

Unfortunately, I do not have a picture of her baby swaddle,
but trust me.   It's a beautiful thing.

.  

Mallory always uses a calm voice.  When she was home for her first Christmas with the Stokers, her sweet manner made me realize that we tend to be a little confrontational.  I want to be more gentle like her. 

One summer she was visiting us while Brandon had some business in Atlanta.  All 3 kids wanted her and would take no substitutions.  She didn't yell or cry or answer shortly.  She just told the children their options, met their needs and pushed through with courage and love.

Speaking of courage and love, having young children is full of opportunities to test and then strengthen these qualities.  Christmas Eve 2010 we went to a party at some friends' house.  Shortly after our arrival Annabelle threw up.  Mallory and Brandon took their kids home.  The next day Josh threw up.  Actually Mallory got thrown up on 3 times in one day.  Still kind and caring, she just changed her clothes, laughed a little, and took care of her babies.

When one of her children has a little problem like say, not wanting to go to bed, she researches and prays and then comes up with clever programs to help her children improve and overcome fears. "You can come out if you're scared, but on the second time you lose your show.  You choose."

Mallory has a superior imagination and sense of fun.  When it was time for our New Year's disco dance, she was in.  She and Gabe created a Ninja adventure story that they continued to develop on the phone.  Her children enjoy listening to her made-up stories that contain questions such as, "What's your super power?  Then what happened? "

From Iowa they moved to the Washington DC area.  Of course Mallory adapted and enjoyed all the advantages of our nation's capital.  She rode the Metro, saw the sights, and made her world a better place.

  Last summer, however, she was rewarded for her bravery.  Brandon took a job in Portland, OR, 2.5 hrs. from her family.  But first he had to spend a month in Michigan.  With 3 babies, my advice to her was to go and stay with her mom.  She said, "Brandon and I don't like to be apart.  I'm going to live with him in the hotel as long as I can"  Do you know what?  She lasted the whole time.  Her kids were happy and growing and it just goes to show, it doesn't really matter where you live, if you're with your family, you're home.  I think making a happy place for her family is Mallory's super power.

Happy Birthday Landon

                               

Landon Matthew Stoker was born on Feb. 11 in Japan.  So I can't help thinking, "It was Feb. 10 in America, and now he lives in America.  What's his real birthday?"  I love birthday drama. We can discuss this fun dilemma every year on his special day. 

  I travelled 18 hours to meet this little sweetie, and it was worth it. 

I remember that he was very well mannered on our outings.  We politely asked the hostess if she could sequester us away from the other patrons as we had a brand-new baby that might need some care.  We were the only ones upstairs in a huge booth and he never even peeped.

He did peep at night a bit, but I think he was just trying to prepare for his move to America.  There was a slight problem with that. Other than the fact that no adults wanted to be awake at night, the persnickety passport people said he had to have his eyes open on his passport picture, but they weren't interested in a 2:00 am appointment. We took him for the required photo shoot in the day, and the wittle boy was so tiwed.  He yawned and stretched a little, but just couldn't open his wee little eyes.  We finally took his clothes off  (the nerve!) and he woke up to the flashing camera in his face.  What price international travel?

In July we got to be together again.  Landon and his family were moving to their new location in Savannah, GA.,  a convenient 3.5 hr. drive from his Grandma Stoker's house.  I'm pretty sure he remembered me from February.  

Well, maybe not, but he's very brave.  He let all of us hold him and only objected slightly when one of his parents walked by.  One day, his momma and daddy had to go to some boring meetings and he stayed at his gramma's just like a big boy.  

On 4th of July his momma dressed him in red, white, and blue and we celebrated freedom at the Peachtree City Parade..  It was hot, but his big brother Caleb was teaching him how to run and grab candy off the street.  There were so many golf carts and clowns and loud parade watchers yelling crazy things to the parade walkers with different political views that Landon stayed entertained the whole time.

Landon sets a dietary example for all of us.  His momma says to his older brother, "Keep trying foods, your tastebuds might change."  Landon likes a lot of foods, but he likes the food in his mouth a little more than the food on his face.  Eating can be challeging when Daddy feeds him. Actually, he looks kind of like that when Grandma feeds him too.

  He has lots of foods he feeds himself.  He loves chicken, cheese and nerf darts.

The most inspiring characteristic that I've observed in Landon to date, is his low crying/complaining quotient. If he has a problem, he's solving it,  he's not crying about it.  If he can't get somewhere, he'll hitch a ride with one of his adoring fans who is flattered to be chosen to serve.  At Christmas we planned a photo shoot on possibly the windiest, bitter-coldest day of the season.  We had a rule, "Everyone has to be happier than the baby."  There we were, lake's edge, teeth chattering, bodies aching from chill, but we couldn't say a word, because Landon was happy as a clam.  When I grow up, I'm going to be like you, Landon.

Happy Birthday Joseph

You all recall the story of Princess Eliza, right?  Well, guess who's having a birthday?  Her handsome prince, Joseph Erickson aka Joe, Joey, Joseph and the coat of many colors, Saint Joseph, and Joseph-potamus to name a few.  We didn't even know about him and his wonderfulness, but while Eliza was growing up, somewhere in the west was a little child being raised by his very good family.

So, Princess Eliza was sent to college with some sage advice from her family:  Eat healthy food and exercise, don't have dessert at every meal, study hard, play sports when you can, read your scriptures, hike the Y, sing in the tunnel, watch Brigham Young do the funky chicken, see the lights on temple square, and don't  date return missionaries your freshman year.  All was going according to plans except the dating thing.  She would tell me what boys had asked her on dates, and I would give my opinion freely.  She said a boy from her dance class had asked her to go to a dance lab with him.  I started going on about being careful about strangers, did he have any references?  just because he's at BYU doesn't mean he's safe blah, blah, blah.  She reassured me that he seemed pretty safe, I mean, what kind of criminal works at the Mission Training Center for their job and volunteers at the temple in their free time? "Okay fine, but be careful.  Go in groups...find out more about his family..."

Time went on and she casually passed on more information:  "Well, we went to his aunt's house to play with his nieces and nephew, and okay, he's adorable."  "We went to a fellow missionary's wedding reception (Joseph and another friend were singing)  and a girl took me aside and  said, 'I don't know what your relationsip with Joseph is, but he was a really good missionary and leader on his mission."  "He taught me how to milk a cow.  His Grandpa was a dairy farmer, and he worked there in the summer."    "He's a good cook.  He worked at a resort."  "We were in DanceSport together and made it to the 4th level of the Cha-Cha, but he had to go take his Czech language test."  "We went horseback riding." "We were supposed to do something in the afternoon, but we went later because he was fixing his car."  "He's in the honors program." "He plays the piano." "I'm on Joseph's intramural wallyball, volleyball, innertube water polo... team." "He wants to do service for our date."   "We just gave blood."  "He always opens my doors for me."  "He's the first boy, fifth child, in a family of 10."  "Everything's more fun with Joseph."  "He's good at life." 

"But, I'm not getting married."

And then came the summer.  Joseph and his brother drove Eliza home to Atlanta on their way to Washington DC.  We were all anxious to meet this person who Eliza was not going to marry.  We figured that he would put his best foot forward, but what an impressive foot it was.  He cooked, cleaned, played with the kids, stacked wood, played a mean game of dodgeball and was good company for everyone.  It was clear these boys had been raised right.  Then he went to his summer job of selling pest control and left Eliza home with her family, free from having to make any hard decisions.  Her plan was to keep him safely at arm's length until she felt inclined to do anything scary.

Well, Joseph had some tricks up his sleeve.  He started a game.  Every time either of them left a message on the other's phone they got a point.  The benefits of this were two-fold, Eliza started carrying and answering her phone, and the loser had to make a visit to the other person.  The phone calls started coming at more and more inopportune times.  There were calls early in the morning, calls after the phone went to messages, and the very unethical calls during church.  As it came closer to the appointed deadline Joseph revealed his plan to win so Eliza had to visit him and then he could surprise her with a visit afterwards.  He tried to enlist my help. I declined, but Rebecca was game.  On the final night he convinced Rebecca to hide Eliza's phone.  His unanswered calls tipped the scales and he claimed victory.  This might have been a bit counterproductive as Eliza was infuriated and ready to kill some people.  He he.

His next major strategy was the surprise visit.  The Stoker house always celebrates Fruit Punch Day on June 17, and what better way to celebrate?  Joseph had met our friends, the Sultans, on his first visit, so he enlisted their help for transportation from the airport.  Now he had to get into the house.  It was late in the evening so he called Eliza en route to make sure she was still awake.  She talked for a bit and then tried to end the call.  He desperately kept her on the line with conversation of weather, etc.  When he was at the house he finally convinced her to look outside, and Surprise!

Eliza was beginning to see where this was going, and put up a fight.  "He wants a dog.  I don't want a

dog."  "He wants to name his children weird names."  "He won't listen to me when I give him driving directions."  In the meantime, we (her family)  were getting more and more impressed with and attached to this young man.  In her final effort she cried, "Where is my family telling me I'm too young to get married?"  We all just looked at each other, "Sorry. We're team Joseph."

It was clear that she had a decision to make.  At one point she even said, "Nope, nope, nope."  They took a break.  That's when she experienced the longest week of her life and decided that she was interested in moving forward.  

He warned her that he would probably propose within a month of returning to school.  This gave her a chance to decide and prepare.  One of the objections to marriage she had mentioned was that she hadn't been skydiving.  Skydiving was on her bucket list and she had to do it before she got married.  It is dangerous and it would be dumb to take the risk if you had a spouse or children.  That gave him the perfect idea.  One Saturday in Sept.  (the 17th to be exact.)  they went skydiving.  Since it was their first time, they each jumped with an instructor.  Joseph went first.  After Eliza jumped out of the plane and was plummeting to the earth she saw a banner that said, "Will you marry me?"  Her instructor asked, "Is that for you?"  She responded guiltily, "Maybe." Her prince was there with roses and ring.  "Well, what do you say?" he asked. "Yes!"  Aww.

And so it was that Eliza Stoker became Eliza Erickson, and we are very happily related to this sweet boy who's heart is full of the pure love of Christ and who still cooks and cleans, and plays and is excellent company for everyone in our family. 

Happy Birthday Jacob

I like to think of  my son Jacob (after Israel from the Old Testament and the righteous son of Lehi in the Book of Mormon) Donald (after my husband's father) as my little Valentine.  He was born in February, and  friends celebrated by bringing, among other things, many Valentine treats.  I'm guessing that this helped shape him because he has a big heart, and he likes sugar.

He has been the youngest child at home and the oldest child at home, but actually he is the very middle of the Stoker children and has lived with every sibling at some time.

Jacob has a lot to teach us.  One of the most important things is you don't have to say everything you think.  This used to confuse me.  I thought he didn't have a plan because he wasn't yammering on like I am when I have a plan.  He has a plan alright, and it's a good one.

Here we have the "Let's help mom empty the dishwasher" plan

One summer the rest of us were hiking.
Jacob was rock collecting,
(as demonstrated by the sagging pocket.)

A few years later I showed the kids how to chalk a hopscotch on the sidewalk to play the game.  Jacob was chalking and chalking and chalking and chalking.  I finally asked him what he was doing.  He said, "I want my hopscotch to have 100 squares."  Considerably more chalking required for his hopscotch design than mine.

When it was time for Jacob to go to college he announced one evening, (about 1 month after acceptance notices were sent)  "Oh by the way, I've been accepted to BYU."  When asked why he hadn't told us, his response was of course, "You didn't ask."

Having a bossy, noisy mother was challenging at times for Jacob.  He wasn't one to argue, but he had his ways of making his views known.  When he was very young he called me from his bedroom after I had put him to bed.  It wasn't the first time that night, so I ignored him.  Later I went in to check on everyone and all his covers were thrown on the floor.  I asked,   "What are these blankets doing here?'  "He said, "Well, you're the one that didn't come and help me."

Another time (I'm sure there were many) I made him mad and he ran away.  He ran away safely, just across the street so he didn't get lost and I wouldn't worry, but it was clear that he was unhappy with my parenting decision.

Jacob is a hero and has been practicing this since he was little.  He looks around for ways to save people from danger or villains or just a little sadness.

Scub scout

Here come the kids in black

White ninja Jacob.  Black ninja Andrew.  Ninja princess Eliza.

Power Ranger

Harry, of course.

He took excellent care of his younger siblings. and was a good friend to each of them.  He knows that families are forever and invests in relationships.

He planned a Star Wars party for his siblings so he could make a memory before he left home.

Jacob is a genius in a lot of ways, but the most fun to watch is his creativity.

Just acting out a little episode with his action figure, dinosaur, horse, and pound puppy.

A kitty, a little boy, an orca, and the best babysitter (remember the apple on her chest)
play a friendly game of Bingo? with the Candy Land markers.

Fun on Christmas Day.  The happy train travels through the snake and alligator infested waters.

Not your average jack o lantern

Jacob is an excellent gift giver.   One mother's day he gave me 18 tulips with a picture, tag and thank you on each flower for our 18 years together.  He has been involved in making a memory book and t-shirt for a favorite teacher. It makes my heart happy to see him be so caring.  That and his dedication to God and goodness are the best gifts of all.

I love you sweetheart!