Merry Christmas 2022

Dear People that I Love: Merry Christmas 2022. There was much to love about this past year. There was also much to hate about this past year, but I have learned that what Jennie Taylor says is true, “Life is incredibly unfair in our favor.” Let’s establish that some things haven’t changed. I still love growing flowers. The flowers in my garden are beautiful, but somehow, my flower garden isn’t beautiful. Could it be my planting style? How am I supposed to know that the seeds I throw willy-nilly over the carefully transplanted starts actually grow? And how is one supposed to remember that the perfect place for my sedum was the perfect place for amaryllis a month ago? And FYI, my tall thin plastic green stakes, just cannot contend with the weight of dahlias. When you read that they must be staked with T-stakes, believe it. I still love church. I love Jesus. I love the scriptures, the temple, all of it. I love being busy doing church things. I’m still working in Communications. It doesn’t scare me this year as much as it did last year. That is a testimony to old people being able to learn. One new opportunity I tried this year is teaching online Institute (religion.) The technology aspect was an adventure, as in students texting me asking me where the zoom link was, and me trying to figure out how to lower a student’s raised hand while trying to talk in a coherent way, but I figured some things out and I’m going to do it again because frankly, I love it. I still adore my family. They get more adorable by the second. And now, I have even more grandchildren in my town. Eliza and Joseph brought their 5 to the neighborhood next to mine. Add them to Brandon and Mallory’s 5, that’s 10 out of 25. Here’s hoping that I continue to get lucky. Why not move to Fayetteville? It’s a great place to live. Paul still likes to fix things. He doesn’t always like to fix the things I think need fixing, but sometimes he does, and I’m thankful. He still likes buying tools and sports equipment. He also continues to enjoy learning about sports through reading and watching videos. When he has time, he hits tennis balls. He has come into my gardening camp slightly. He is very excited about the orchid we keep in our bathroom that bloomed two years in a row. He read all about how it grows and how to propagate it. He doesn’t show much interest in the flowers outside, but orchids are a great start. He currently works for Takeda.

My mom’s health is pretty good. She is a fun thrift store companion. She is a warm and cheerful greeter at church. Her current favorite musicals she watches are “Blue Hawaii,” and “White Christmas.” I realized today that “White Christmas” playing in the background has become a constant that I’m going to miss when she’s gone someday. As for the kids, they are doing pretty well most of the time.

Daniel lives in D.C. and works part-time for the National Guard and full-time for Delta. His 2 boys live in St. Louis.

Brandon and Mallory live 15 minutes from me with their 5 kids. Yay.

Nathan and Ariane live in Elk Grove, CA with their 4.

Aaron and Clarissa live in Leesville, LA with their 3.

Jacob and Alexa are in Norman, Oklahoma. They just added baby Margaret to their family of 7.

Eliza and Joseph brought their 5 children to Fayetteville, 5 minutes away.

Andrew and Mallory live in Orem, UT with their daughter, Reagan.

Rebecca also lives in the Provo/Orem area. Gabe lives in Fayetteville with me.

The Princess With a Nose Bleed

About 10 years ago, after Eliza's marriage. A few of us went to "Music and the Spoken Word" on the weekend of the Tabernacle Choir Christmas concert. It was a glorious experience for all, and I dreamed of the day I would be able to attend an actual full length concert. A couple of months ago, I noticed that it was time to apply for the free tickets. I put in my name just to see what would happen. Well, I got the tickets. I was thrilled but had no idea how I could make this work. I have a lot of responsibilities right now, not the least of which is taking care of my mom. Time went on and I just kept that day open on the calendar, just in case. As Dec. 15th got closer I called my sister Megan to see if she would want to meet me in Salt Lake City and attend. She promised to work on it from her end. As it turned out, her daughter was celebrating her 18th birthday on Dec. 16th. They decided to go on a few college tours in UT. Her daughter also wanted to visit a friend on Thursday night so that left Megan free! It was a date. We got a little nervous the day before when Megan was coughing in the morning. The weather threatened to be snowy and standby travel looked dicey. We pushed through. I woke up Thursday morning at 4:00am and headed to the airport. I got through the famed ATL security with the police dogs. The good news is that because we passed the dogs' scrutiny we didn't have to take our shoes off. I went to the gate and saw the standby list. 6 available seats. I was number 16. The flight was slightly delayed which allowed all the latecomers to arrive. Nothing against latecomers, and I feel their pain, but sometimes that's how the standby travelers get a seat. I was convinced that I would not be getting on that flight. I emailed Megan to tell her my plight, half expecting her to say she was deathly ill and the roads were too snowy for travel.That was not the case, however, she was feeling better and they were already in UT. I didn't believe I would be joining them and went to ask the gate agent to see if he thought I could get to Oklahoma City. There's a granddaughter over there that I really want to meet. He told me to wait a bit, you never know what's going to happen. Just like he predicted, the standby list started dwindling down. They called out a name, not mine, and 2 people stood up. "I have 1 seat. Are you interested in separating?" They shook their heads and then I heard, "Stoker?" What? I was actually on the airplane! A Christmas miracle. I had planned to meet up with my son and his sweet baby in the morning, but the snowy roads were a no-go for them. I had a few hours until I would see my sister. I was actually tempted to stay in the airport where it was warm and catch up on some calls and emails. I realized the lameness of that choice and said a little prayer that I would use the time right.I put on both my coats, my gloves and my cashmere scarf and ventured outside to catch the train. It could have been the coldest 11 minutes of my life, or I might have a bad memory. I got off at the temple square station and had to make a choice. The lure of the City Creek Shopping Center was strong, but I remembered that my hometown also has stores. I was in SLC and needed to do SLC things. I headed to Temple Square instead. I saw the sign for the Church History Museum and that seemed like a great place to start. When I walked in the gift shop was shining bright. So many beautiful things to look at. I could spend an hour there. Then I looked around. There were wonderful Church History displays and artifacts and then I couldn't believe it. The Church Art Competition, "All Are Alike Unto God," was on display upstairs. The actual works were in the very place I stood. I was in heaven. Then in walked one of the tour guides. More amazing good luck. It was my friend, Jenee Fergusen Lewis from Lincoln NE. Heavenly Father is so good to me. After some fun catching up and a special guided tour with Jenee Megan joined me and we toured and took pictures and admired the breathtaking art.

Then it actually was time to go to City Creek. While we were walking down W. Temple St. we heard someone in a car passing by call, "Laurie! Megan!" It was our sweet niece that we haven't seen for months. Just one more happy surprise for an already fabulous day.We were hungry, and we decided to head to "The Cheesecake Factory" along with all of the other people going to the concert. The wait was 40 minutes so we decided to go someplace else. As we left we were reminded that we could either spend the next 40 minutes looking for another option or just stand and visit there and eat the food we were in the mood for. When we spoke to the host, Megan had the brilliant idea of asking if there was bar seating. Five minutes later we were sitting at a bistro table looking at the menu. Unfortunately, or so I thought, something happened to our order and we didn't get our food for about an hour. Looking back I realize it allowed us to visit someplace warm for a long time without feeling as if we needed to leave and make room for the next customers.

When we were finished eating our yummy food, we walked over to the Conference Center. I have to say, I haven't felt so Christmasy for a long time. The decorations were so beautiful. I thought the fake snow on the Christmas tree was exquisite. Turns out it was real snow, weird. We arrived and found our seats. Megan had run to put the cheesecake in the car. I was sitting there in that gorgeous place anticipating the marvelous privilege I was experiencing and I felt like a princess. And then it happened. This low altitude GA girl visiting the mountain west became a princess with a nose bleed. I sat there wondering what to do. I had no tissues. If I turned around to ask for help the people behind me would be met with a view of my alarming state. It had to be done. After a little gasp the girl behind me handed me a tissue. A few minutes later she offered me a whole pack. Later she shared that she had forgotten she had already grabbed one and inadvertently added an extra package to her purse. Another tender mercy. Bless her heart for saving my day. I put on one of my coats to hide the blood spatters on my shirt and traipsed up the stairs to the restroom. I was given a wide berth as one would imagine. I washed my face and headed back after the bleeding had stopped. I looked almost normal, but there wasn't much to be done about my shirt. Oh well. Totally worth it.

My sister and I both returned to our seats and we enjoyed a most magnificent concert. The star singer was Lea Salonga, and the star actor was David Suchet. It was fabulous.

The next morning I woke up to a text from my husband saying the flights all looked bad and he had used our points to buy me a ticket home. He was my hero. Megan drove me to the airport. I got on the plane with a ticket and that's it. And now I'm home. And I recognize that God gave me a wonderful Christmas gift, a way to make the celebration of the birth of His Son special and very memorable. I recognize his hand in my trip and I'm grateful. PS. The icing on the cake is my shirt came clean.

The Power of Extolling Virtues

 I have a good family with good people, but sometimes we get on each others nerves. I have been feeling irritable lately, and with that comes guilt for feeling irritable. I've been pondering on a solution to bring a little sunshine and love into our home. As I was wondering what changes I could make, some thoughts occurred to me. When I focus on weaknesses, mistakes and imperfections, I am bringing to the surface qualities that are unattractive to me. When I focus on goodness, virtues, positive behaviors and attributes, I bring to the surface qualities that are attractive to me. Faults repel, Virtues attract. Since all humans have both, if I want to have stronger bonds with people, I need to describe them, to others and myself, in word and thought, in terms of their goodness- good looks, good intentions, good ideas, good choices, good works. Criticizing, fault finding, condemning are all divisive and lead to bitterness and resentment. This may be contributing to a lack of love and unity in our communities, work places and homes. I can still work to solve differences if necessary, but what if I overlooked differences and just showed gratitude for the good? Besides that, since I need lots of mercy, I best be showing lots of mercy. 

Celebrate!

 After the ceremony we went home to rest and recover and dance. Lucy gave us a preview to her ballet recital and then the rest of the fam joined in for an Aaron Stoker family favorite.

Then it was celebration time. I was lucky enough to ride with the kids and we made up additional verses to "If all the raindrops were lemondrops and gumdrops." "Lollipops and Shave ice" and "Pizza and ice cream" were a few of the more delicious ideas. It was a lovely dinner and gathering. All my favorite things, good food, good people, darling grandchildren and people saying nice things about my son. My kind of event.

I was impressed that Col. Arnold presented certificates to Aaron's family for their sacrifice and contribution in his completion of the program. It was well earned. Thank you Clarissa, for being such a wonderful wife, mother, daughter-in-law and friend.

And then there were the "Good Job Aaron" talks. They were generous and kind, but so important when someone has come to the end of a long arduous journey. And when his residency friend said "Aaron is patient and caring, and I never saw him lose his temper," There wasn't a more grateful mother. So basically, the best night ever. 

First to fight for the right and to build the nation's might. Congratulations Aaron

 There's something about watching a child struggle and fight and sweat and work with all he has to get to the finish line that just makes my mom heart burst with pride. This kid and his brave and loving wife just completed their Oral and Maxillofacial Surgery residency at Ft. Bragg in Fayetteville, NC. It was an honor to attend the graduation ceremony, and I was enriched by the experience.

I've been to a couple of graduations, but not an army graduation. It was the DENTAC GRADUATE EDUCATION COMMENCEMENT and there were only 10 total graduates-6 Dentists, 3 Endodontists, and 1 Oral Surgeon. That right there makes for a very doable sit. It's very easy to watch 10 people get their diplomas. Talk away. We'll be fine.

We began the ceremony with the singing of "The Star Spangled Banner." I was already starting to feel very thankful for my freedom when things got even better. The Chaplain said, "We will now exercise our religious freedom and pray." Yeah, my religious freedom! The freedom that many have given their lives for. The freedom the soldiers in the room had promised to defend. Can we take a moment to commit to defend our religious freedom and never take it for granted? That statement alone made me want to pray with more faith, more resolve, and more gratitude. 

Then the retired General spoke and told us that the Army residency program was known for it's rigor and preparation for life. I thought of the 4 years my son worked into the night and came home to sleeping children. I remember visiting Aaron's family and waking up in the morning to little Lion King pictures that Aaron had drawn and left on the table so his children knew he loved them. I thought of how proud I am of my children and anyone else who chooses to do hard things and doesn't quit even though they wanted to many times.

Then they presented the Certificates. When Colonel Arnold presented Aaron's he started by saying, "And now for the Delta Force of Dentistry..." We laughed, but I appreciated the comparison, because this kid earned the compliment.

And then they sang the Army song. I've heard it at a hundred 4th of July celebrations, but it was different this time. I was proud and thankful to contribute to those who defend our country. And by contribute I mean give birth to a soldier and patriot.

March along, sing our song, with the Army of the free.

Count the brave, count the true, who have fought to victory.

We're the Army and proud of our name

We're the Army and proudly proclaim

First to fight for the right,

And to build the Nation's might...

He got a cool coin and we had some delicious cake. It was a great ceremony.

But I think the best recognition of all was this note from Lucy: