A buddy of one of my teenagers once said, "Stoker's are good at the weird sports." The main reason for this is that we're not very competitive in the normal sports, but we like sports so we find something else to play.
One of the "weird" sports that son #2 chose to join was Cross Country. I knew nothing about it although I had seen a bunch of skinny kids running in the street before. Now one of those kids was mine. This child started saying things like, "I don't eat sausage." "I don't drink soda." "I need more vegetables." Cross Country really got interesting when I went to my first meet. All the parents, supporters, and runners were out in a field. The race started and soon the runners were out of sight. Then the spectators ran to a pre-appointed spot where we got another glimpse of the race. We cheered when the runners went by. One man encouraged the runners in a loud clear voice, "You got this! Stay strong! You're doing great!" It helped me, so I"ll bet it helped them. Some spectators found the next spot, I missed it and headed to the finish. We were excited for the winner, but we were just as excited, maybe more, for the runner coming in last. Their run was harder so the finishing seemed more glorious. All the runners came in spent. They were so exhausted, some threw up. Brandon explained that there was no shame in this. The object of the game was to "Leave it all out there."
There was one race that I'll never forget. I was standing with the other spectators at the finish of a girls race. The runners had started to come in. One girl came running towards the finish line, faltered and then fell. Adults (parents, coaches?) rushed to her aid. She tried to stand and shake off the help. She wasn't quitting. She took a few trembling steps and fell again. I watched this courageous little high school athlete crawl across the finish line. Tears streamed down my face as I comprehended determination and heart and discipline like never before.
Life gets hard and sometimes it hurts to grow, but confidence comes from doing hard things and so does strength. Daughter #1 decided she wanted to learn to ride a bicycle. I helped her sometimes, but more often than not she was out with her bike and helmet starting by the curb, riding a ways, falling, starting again, repeating until she was a rider for realsies. When my youngest began to walk he would start by the couch, head to the loveseat, stumble a few feet in, crawl to the starting point and head to the loveseat again. At the time we laughed because he wouldn't quit. I don't laugh now. These children had the perfect formula for success. Set your goal, head in that direction, and start again after every stumble until you finish.
Daughter #2's teacher introduced her class to a poem, "Don't Quit" author unknown. I loved it so much that when my youngest was assigned to memorize a poem I encouraged him to choose it. The process mirrored the message. It was a big undertaking. He memorized a stanza at a time. Sometimes he'd forget a line, and then start at the beginning. We worked on it in the car, waiting for the bus, before going to bed. Sometimes he said "I'm sick of "Don't Quit," but it was a proud day when he recited it in class. And I hope we always remember:
DON'T QUIT
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow--
You may succeed with another blow.
Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor's cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.
Success is failure turned inside out--
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.
- Author unknown
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