Dreams and Cages. What's standing between me and my dreams?

It was Friday, my day off, the day I don't prepare for seminary, so I was reading my recreational fiction.  The book  was "Blackmoore" by Julianne Donaldson.  The characters had been introduced, and Kate (the main character) had gotten herself into a tight spot.  She was having a dramatic moment, which moments I usually tolerate with superior amusement,  but I found my heart breaking and tears springing from their hiding place.  This surprised me, and I've been pondering why this tugged at and broke my heart strings.  The passages are as follows: "I feel caged.  Always.  I feel like I am this bird, trapped and stifled and caged, and I keep looking for a way to escape, but I am barred at every turn."  "That is how I feel about India.  I want to go so badly the wanting hurts.  But I am afraid that I won't ever go, and I'm afraid that I will never realize this dream, and if I don't realize this dream, then it's possible I won't realize any dream.  And I'll just live a bleak, dreamless life without adventure or joy or choice or--or--living." "All I can think is that I will end up like this poor bird.  I will beat myself against the bars of my cage until I am too exhausted, and then I will give up and live the rest of my life without a song and inside a forgotten room."

The character and I do not have much in common. I don't care about going to India (turns out this dream was just an escape.) She is an 18 year old girl with no resources  under the control of her mother.   I'm the mom and I do what I want. I have a bank card and it works (with a lot of limits of course.) I know I have choices so rarely feel trapped in that way, but I have to ask myself, "What are the bars that cage me?"  "What are my unrealized dreams?"

This is what I have determined.  The bars of my cage are fear, distraction, and laziness.

FEAR:   When I was a semester student at BYU Hawaii  there was an opportunity for the students to go for a weekend cruise.  It was an affordable 3 days around the Hawaiian islands.  Of course I did not sign up. What if I didn't know anyone?  What if no one talked to me?  What if I missed something important at home?  Besides that, I shouldn't spend any money.  So home I stayed while probably 80 % of the semester students were cruising around the islands having a wonderful time.  At least I was safe in my cage.

On another occasion a brave friend invited me to go with her on a cruise through Central America to see the Mayan ruins.  I had a husband who told me it was a chance of a lifetime and wouldn't think of letting me miss this.  It remains to this day one of my most memorable experiences thanks to a friend and spouse who opened my cage door.

DISTRACTION:  Sometimes at the end of the day I say, "I know what I did today, but is that what I wanted to do?"  My dream was to show the people in my life that I love them through some small gesture that I forgot to perform because I got on facebook, or started sorting stuff, or shopping or some other impulsive act.  My dream is to improve in music, but I didn't touch one musical instrument.  My dream is to learn and to serve and to grow, but I forgot.

LAZINESS: I have an ongoing dream of experiencing America, particularly my local area, which means one of the 10 states in which I have lived.  This week I was invited by a friend to hike Pine Mountain with a group of women.  Even though this experience aligned with my dream, my first response was, "I'm too tired for an all day hike.  When will we be back?  I suppose I'll have to make preparations like pack a lunch and water etc."  Their enthusiasm was convincing, however, so I crept out of my cage and joined them on their really beautiful and fantastic day.  It could only have been improved had I stopped complaining a little sooner.  (I really wasn't prepared for no bathroom.)

I've been observing people who realize their dreams and  have noticed some commonalities among them:

1. They state their dream boldly.  They don't say, "Well, I might go into psychology if I can get into the program."  They say, "I'm going to be a counselor."  And interestingly enough,  people don't doubt their bold statements, and those dreams are usually realized.

2.  They are resilient.  Of course doors will shut.  While I'm saying, "I can't write a book.  Someone might say I'm a bad writer."  They say, I will improve, I will get better, I will try another door, cages can be opened.

3.  They are hard working.  My son, Gabe, wanted to play a song from "Pirates of the Caribbean" on the piano.  He has had about 5 piano lessons from his sister and knows 1 other song.  The song he chose was above his level.  It is too hard.  It is not fun.  It did not sound at all like "Pirates of the Caribbean."  He's worked on it almost every day for 2 months.  He is learning it. Today it is a very recognizable "He's a Pirate."

4.They can act independently.  "This is what I'm doing.  Come along if you want."  Not, "5 people begged me and told me they'd help me.  Maybe I'll try it." (I confess I am typically of the latter ilk.)

5.  They are hopeful.  They don't say, "What if I don't like this or what if it turns out horrible? I probably can't do it." They know how to make life great. The worst thing that can happen if they go after a good dream is that they can learn and improve.

I have a friend from church who has actually published a book.  Her name is Victoria Wilcox and she wrote "Southern Son: The Saga of Doc Holliday."  (You should read it.) I'm so intrigued by this accomplishment from a real person.  Was she ever afraid that she wasn't good enough to write a book for the public?  How did she stay focused on the project for the years it took to finish the work?  And speaking of work, was she sure she wanted to commit herself to a project that big, I mean, what if she didn't feel like meeting her deadlines one day?  Apparently not, and she just did it, and yes, she was sure.

So we have some choices.  We can stay safe in our cage and never get rejected by a publisher, or a coach or an audience or lose our luggage or have a child that disappoints us or a loved one that hurts us.  Or we can fly and take our talents as far as we can go and visit wonderful people and places and have a family filled with lasting joy and love and give our whole heart because we do not want to live the rest of our life without a song in a forgotten room.