Food insanity, no really.

I know I'm a  stress bucket, but I am going to confess that food is one of the most crazy places for my brain to go.  Can I just vent a little here?  So no one wants cancer, right?  I just read that if you want to not feed the cancer potential that's already in your body, eat plenty of fruits and vegetables.  So far so good, well maybe better with fruit than vegetables, but would you rather eat more grapes and watermelon or more broccoli and cauliflower?  That's what I thought.  And if you really would rather eat more cauliflower I salute you as an outlier.  Moving on, and don't eat processed foods or sugar or artificials or white flour, pasta etc.  Well, isn't that just dandy?  Guess what's in my cupboard?  Pasta, Wheat thins, flour, canned vegetables, and cereal, none of which is allowed for people who don't want to get cancer.  Oh wait, there is a small bag of brown rice which takes twice as long to cook as white rice and so has gotten used once in 2 years.  There is also a bag of Quinoa in the back which apparently is a very good choice so I'll put that in front of the Honey Nut Cheerios to impress my healthy friends who look in my food cupboard... never.

So, no cancer, no cancer, but what about storing food for a rainy day or a disaster or a government shut down that never ends?  Okay, the canned vegetables can stay, the nuts are fine, granola bars, wheat, raisins, egg powder, (isn't that processed?), white rice, beans, oil (is that good fat or bad fat?) canned chicken would be perfect (probably full of artificials), and I'm definitely going to need some sugar, sorry cancer.

And did you hear about the genetically engineered foods that are causing rampant food allergies, gluten intolerance, etc.?  Don't eat grains grown in America especially by Monsanto.  Go to Europe to buy bread.  I bought my wheat in the US of A.  I thought it was the staff of life.  Now it's the devil.  No bread, no bread.

And some people that I love eat paleo.  More protein means more muscle. "What's for dinner?   Chicken and... chicken."  "What's for breakfast? 20 eggs and chicken."  I can see that builds muscle, but that can't be good for life, right?  Because too much meat is not healthy.  We should be eating whole grains, but not grown in America, a little meat, and lots of fruits and vegetables (there they are again.)   There are also people that I love that are vegetarians, maybe I should learn more about that... or  maybe I should let them duke it out with the paleos, in a loving way of course.

And then there are the people that I'm supposed to be keeping alive.  I slaved over a delicious dinner tonight: bad-pasta and cheese, good-tomatoes, spinach, egg plant, grapes, and a little bit of chicken.  The 13 yr old took the slightest piece of chicken, ate the pasta while artfully dodging the spinach and tomatoes, was good with the grapes and positively gagged the egg plant.  He told me it was as bad as cantaloupe.

Well, the 15 yr. old girl was happy.  She likes healthy food so I could just cook for her and if the 13yr. old got hungry enough he would eat it.  I'm a veteran mother who should not be catering to picky eaters, but have you seen my 13 year old boy?  His ribs stick out.  Sometimes I see him eating butter and I'm thrilled (I know, cancer.)  And guess what else?  I buy him hot dogs and encourage lots of mayonnaise on his sandwich and give him a spoon of peanut butter with his breakfast.

And if you want to know the truth, I'm a lover of comfort food...apple crisp and pumpkin muffins in the fall, toffee, caramel popcorn and hot chocolate in the winter. (white, since I actually do have a food rule:  No chocolate.)  Strawberry shortcake in the spring, corn on the cob and watermelon in the summer. Which, according to the fitness people at the gym, means my body is addicted to sugar and starch and needs at least a 14 day fast from those evil foods. But my grandfather lived until he was 90 and lived on creamed potatoes and peas and cracked wheat.  He also loved  good pie.  So that's what I think about when I want to make cookies (with lots of oatmeal and nuts, of course). And do you know what else I really love?  Brats and deep fried anything.  Now you know, I'm a carny girl at heart, but I don't want cancer.  So  I'll keep trying to move in a healthier direction, but quinoa mint salad just doesn't feel as festive as raspberry cheese cake, am I right?